Great Western War, 2010

Whoo, mama! It's been awhile since I posted. This summer's been crazy. However, I hope to be back and a bit more regular now that the autumn is getting underway. My job's a bit more stable (which is both yaaaaay and aaaaaaargh), my boyfriend's finally got one, and we're adjusting to the joy of suddenly being a two-income apartmenthold... clearly we need to have some kids, because Lord knows them dishes ain't doin' themselves.

Moving right along.

What better way to ring ZARM back in than with a post about my very favorite war, Great Western War! Every year I have an absolute blast at Great Western (thanks in large part to the great site, camping with the boyfriend's household, and the fact that it always falls on or around my birthday weekend), and this year was no exception.

I have to say, I was looking forward to this particular war with some trepidation--it was our first time leaving our cat alone overnight since the Great Vet Trips of 2010, I'd had a couple of bad days due to some difficult work news, we could only manage to head up to the war on Saturday and Sunday because of work and a total absence of PTO in my full-time job (Ever. Any. At all.), and we had enough to do before we left that we wouldn't be able to leave for the site until after dark. I was not looking forward to the war by 4 PM on Friday afternoon.

And yet.

War. Oh war. Something about war just perks me right up. Maybe it's because of the people. Or the turning off of cell phones and disconnecting from the internet for a couple of days. Maybe it's because I love blood and violence. Who can say?

War kicked ass pretty much continuously from Friday night to Sunday night, and a big part of that was the fencing. So let's get to it:

Saturday

Saturday was the White Scarf tourney in the morning and melees in the castle in the afternoon. In the White Scarf tourney, which was held last year as well, a White Scarf sponsors two unscarved fighters and they tag team in and out between rounds throughout the tournament--sort of like Pokemon, but more fun to watch.

Warmups were a little something different--Laertes shoved me over to Don Alex Baird and rather than a static drill warmup, he just had us throw blows back and forth without stopping at about 75% speed, very gentle and easygoing. For a minute or two I felt like my brain was lagging behind my body, but I got one good touch in on his arm and suddenly everything clicked into place. It got me into the fencing headspace really quickly, and whether that's a testament to the warmup or my own increased ability decreasing my mental lag, I can't say. Whichever the case (or if both is the case), it worked great.

The WS tourney was lots of fun. I lost both my fights, but I had some really nice and fun opponents. I can't recall the second one right now (beyond getting one-shotted just as I started thinking--well done, sir!), but the first fight was with a very nice gentleman who seemed pretty evenly matched with me. We had a couple of nice passes and he ended up taking me out, but I felt really good about the fight--very grounded and confident, like I, as the good book says, owned my space on the pavement.

I also got to hang out with some peeps I sort-of know and would like to know better, Shannon (whose SCA name is something like a very feminine sounding Christian... probably has an E on the end or some damn thing) and her husband Thomas, and Gerrick's (more spelling issues) ladyfriend Maureen, who's just a huge sweetheart and lots of fun. I also got to schmooze a bit with some of the Westies I see annually at GWW or know through Facebook, which was great. Staffan and I stole back to his pavilion (scandal!) to discuss some manuals we'd talked about online and I've now ordered a copy of an out-of-print book on basic foil and epee fencing that apparently has a lot of period-oid crossover. When life calms down a bit more, I'm excited to get into it.

In the afternoon, there were melees in the heavies' haybale castle, which were just a total blast. We busted the spears out and for the first time I really thought they affected play on the field--previously I'd only been in line-battle type melees where the spears were used, and, while I thought they were fun, the only effect they had on me were that I had to watch three people down on my left and right on the lines, rather than one or two. Being able to shoot over the haybale walls with the spears and get up on the second tier of bales to parry them really added a layer of intensity and thought to the melees which can often get lost in doorway battles. There was no standing in the third or fourth rank, waiting for enough people in front of you to die for you to get your turn--you had to actively check the air over your head (well, I did anyway) and around the edges of the door for a spear. Lots of fun, especially when I perched up on a haybale on the edge of a door and sniped across the line for incoming hands.

Another really nice touch about Saturday was that the White Scarf Tourney last year was really one of the first tournies at which Laertes' and I had worked together, so we had lots of check ins during the day comparing how I'm fighting this year (okay!) to how I fought last year (friggin' awful). He and Gerrick (whose name I should know how to spell by now, but I don't) were both very positive and reassuring and specific about where and how I'd improved, and kept reminding me to take note of myself now versus last year. I really appreciate the encouragement and support they've both provided, and genuinely consider the good environment to be a huge part of why I've improved as much as I have over this past year. The learning environment really is ideal for me (lots of talking, lots of snark, lots of support, and high expectations with no pressure to win or be the best! or make the other kids cry! or any of that Cobra Kai bullshit), and has done a lot to boost my confidence. Thanks, guys!

Sunday

First thing on Sunday morning was the Valkyrie Rose Tourney, hosted by the Ladies of the Rose in honor of the late Duchess Sir Kolfinna. There's been a Rose tourney the last couple of years at war (methinks), but the last two have been a bit fraught with emotion for everyone--the one last year took place around the same time as the memorial service, which was hard for a lot of people, and the one this year was in her honor.

In my first fight, I drew Don Eogan (more on tourney format below), who caught my rhythm and one-shotted me very quickly. A bit frustrated, I retreated to the loser's pool and was perked up by a couple of good passes with a Western White Scarf whose name I failed to catch. He tried to take a blow I landed on the side of his neck, basically parking my edge on the bottom of his gorget with no pressure or pull whatsoever, but I said it wasn't any good and we should redo it. He was an utter gentleman and tried really hard to take the shot, but finally said it was up to me to determine whether it was good or not and I insisted we refight it. We had a couple exchanges at full speed (for me, probably rather slow for him!) and I ended up taking him out with a lucky shot on the mask. I was really pleased with that, and glad I'd gotten such a chivalrous and fun opponent. My next fight was with a young lady from the West who was equally polite and cheerful, and who took me out in fairly short order... she made it to quarterfinals, though, so I didn't feel too bad about it. :)

The fighting was great, but the tourney itself was a bit of an ordeal--not for any emotional reasons on my part, but because it was a speed tourney (two groups of fighters pair off and fight, then sort into two lists, the winners and losers lists, which continue to fight until there's a winner of each, pretty much non-stop) and it was out in the gorram sun near a small haybale room. It had been getting warmer all war, and I imagine the high on Sunday was somewhere in the 90s. There were a lot of fighters and a speed tourney was absolutely the best way to get through the list in less than an hour, but we were sweltering out there and the waterbearing table was totally understaffed, so there was no water within five hundred feet of the tourney field.

(Actually, I think the one water table in sight was intended for the heavies who were doing scenarios in the castle... right next door to the rapier field... with their crossbows a-firing, and may I just say, LEARN TO AIM, KIDS, because dodging crossbow bolts while trying to fight or marshal in the heat after a few rounds of speed tourney? Not a lot of fun. Suggestions to the marshals that scenarios involving projectiles be rescheduled for a few minutes or fought without archery didn't seem to be accepted, which hopefully had a good reason, because from where I was standing it was a bit annoying. Moving right along.)

I ended up going over to the heavies' water table and asking to steal six or eight bottles from them for the tourney. They were really nice and said it was no problem as long as they got all the bottles back, so I took a double armful and parked them all on one haybale. People were really good about returning them, and half an hour later I had all the empties to return to the waterbearers. Hopefully that helped everyone--I could tell the water crew felt bad about not being able to provide for everyone, but I think they were technically promised to the heavies field and there were only two of them. They appreciated us returning the bottles, and the fighters appreciated the extra hydration, so I think it worked out well for everyone.

Anyway, not much else to say about fencing at GWW. I didn't do Blood of Heroes or melees that afternoon (and a good thing, because we had to break down later that night and I ended up throwing my back out, so it would have been a pain to have to deal with that on top of being all exhaustified), but I heard everyone had lots of fun. I sure did. :)

Back on the Horse; Notes on Fencing To and From the Ground.

Phew! It's been awhile!

I've had a busy few months, faithful ZARMers, culminating in a week of suck, a week of awesome!, and now another couple weeks of suck which seem to be receding. Forecast of slightly snarky, chance of showers up to Great Western War.

That's right, kids, it's that time again--time for Great Western War! Until today, I've only been looking towards the war as another Thing I Have To Do (not that I have to do it, but we already paid for it and it's one of those tricky things I know I'd want to do if I wasn't so bogged down with stuff). As of now, we're going, we're camping, and we'll be there Friday night and leave Sunday afternoonish. It's possible we'll have to bail early--among the pail of o nuuuuuuuuuu! the universe dumped on us this month was a heart problem with our two-year-old kitty, which has been hugely stressful, heartbreaking, and expensive. "Chance of showers" has pretty much summed up my entire emotional state for the last two weeks, and I'm just now catching my breath.

Anyway, one of the things I am looking forward to about the war is getting to fence my squirrely little heart out. I haven't been giving fencing as much love as it needs this summer, and it's showing in my game, but I'm still stoked to get out there and shake my groove thang for a couple days. I really want to give fencing more time in my schedule... I just need to figure out how to make said time! :)

The substance of this post is supposed to be all about fighting on the ground. Last Saturday at Caid Rapier Open, Laertes noticed I was having some issues fighting both against someone who's on the ground and when grounded myself, and that's some of what we worked on on Monday night at Altavia practice.

Basically, my problem is that I revert to some basic no-nos of fencing technique when I'm on the ground that I totally know better than to do when standing. For example, I tend to present a flat surface to my opponent by facing them head-on (in as much as my torso ever gets flat... bow chicka wow wow!). This could be solved by fencing like I'm standing up, which is to say with my right shoulder behind my left and offhand held farther forward and a bit higher than I'm usually accustomed. It's a fine line between protecting my head and protecting my stomach, but it's mostly a psychological line--anyone attacking me while I'm sitting down is going to have a substantially easier time hitting my head and chest than my stomach.

Problem number two, obviously, is the position of my offhand. It needs to be higher. Better. Stronger. Cheaper. Well, higher anyway. I have a natural aversion to raising it too high because it uses some underdeveloped muscles and tires my arm out more quickly (gosh, I wonder how I could fix that problem). It also feels safer to keep it low, because my parry up (ie, raising the blade of the dagger from a nine-o'clock to a twelve-o'clock position and returning it to nine) is much faster than my parry down (dropping the blade from nine to six and raising it back up). The parry down is also less controlled and uses more of my arm, so I hesitate to use it any more than I have to. More things to work on. Or, as Laertes said so very succinctly, "PARRY DRILLS."

Fighting a legged fighter from a standing position will take a similar attitude adjustment. I have a pretty good foot void that keeps my forward leg from getting taken most of the time, but I still tend to stand facing the legged opponent most of the time anyway. My main strategy fighting a legged person is to take crappy little potshots in the hope of getting a good hit on the hand, arm, or head, which doesn't really work for me too well. For some reason, fighting like I was fighting a, you know, standing fighter, hadn't occurred to me. You know, all that basic stuff about engagement? Line closing? Constraint? Dagger use? All that? Yeah, no, none of that. Potshots, though. Heeeeeey.

There's nothing really ground-breaking in this post, discovery-wise, just little bits of technique I feel like it's worth commemorating (in part because I feel silly for not realizing them before).

OMG Shoes

Hey all,

So I had a lovely time at Darach Pirate Tourney yesterday, and now I have a question. Rather, I'm soliciting for recommendations.

I need good fencing shoes.

Here's the thing. Nothing hard about good fencing shoes, right? Twenty dollars at Payless, right? Right. EXCEPT for this damn back of mine.

I've been wearing my New Balance sneakers (by far and away, the most back- and hip-friendly sneakers brand for me), and am often given shit for them. It annoys me to get commentary about my footwear, but I can't really complain because period appearance really is important to me, it's recommended in the marshallate handbook, and I definitely look down on those dudes at Estrella who walk onto the field in wolf furs and black jeans. I can't just turn my nose up at them while lacing up my sneakers... especially since I usually have to kneel down to lace up my sneakers, making it hard to look down on anything but my knees. :)

The reason it annoys me to get commentary about them, however, is because I've tried three different versions of more acceptable footwear on the field, and none of them work. They've all thrown my back or hips out within a few hours of wearing them. My hiking boots worked fine for awhile (and while still obviously out of period footwear, they look better than sneakers... and, for some reason, garnered me less criticism. Go figure), but when I tore the ligaments in my foot, they were too heavy to wear long-term, especially when running around.

I have fairly limited options for long-term footwear right now, and the more physical activity I'm doing, the more careful I have to be about them. I do need to get some more back musculature to keep everything in place, which will improve the problem somewhat, but this really is an ongoing complaint--not only are the sneakers more comfortable, they keep my chiropractic bill down and keep me walking and having a good time after I come off the field. Usually wearing the wrong shoes will end with me flat on my back waiting for my joints to realign properly. I'd really like to fence all day and still be able to run around afterwards with my friends, not have to pop some Advil and call it an evening early.

Sigh. It feels stupid to write about this, because I feel like I'm whining, and I really don't mean to. I just want to articulate myself and my complaints accurately, and I really want some advice.

It's been suggested that I make some leather or fabric covers for the sneakers, which I think is a great idea, but would probably take a lot of upkeep and trial and error before I got them right. I'm certainly willing to do it, but I'd like some other options, too. ...Not to mention a pattern. Anyone got a good pattern for spats or slipcovers for sneakers?

So, what do y'all like to wear on your feet when you fence? I've done a couple different kinds of period-oid boots, and they don't give me proper arch or heel support. The hiking boots worked, but won't do right now for reasons mentioned above. I've tried both the generic Dr. Scholls gel inserts and more expensive athletic inserts, and they add a couple hours of comfort, but still aren't ideal (at Lyondemere Anny two weeks ago, I tried them with a pair of thick socks in one of my pairs of period-y boots and while the fencing wasn't uncomfortable, I was flat on my back before the end of court).

So, what have I tried so far?

• Different boots (hiking boots, a shitty cheap pair from Payless, and a nice pair from Clarks)
• Inserts (generic and athletic)
• Socks (thick or thin socks can affect the fit of a non-lacing shoe, like a boot, so I try to mix it up and see what works best)
• Stretching before and after fencing (durrrrrrrrrrr)

What have I not tried so far?

• Custom-made boots (OMG money)
• Custom-made orthopedic inserts (can these be swapped between pairs of shoes, or are they specific to one pair? Can anyone tell me approximately how much they cost? Do they actually help, or are they no different from over-the counter athletic inserts?)
• Building up the muscles in my back and hips and transitioning over to nearly-barefoot footwear (slip-on ballet flats, jazz shoes, or what have you--also not terribly periodoid, but better looking from afar). I think this might be the best option just for my long-term health, but it doesn't solve the immediate need-to-fix-ugliness-right-now kind of problems.

I really need something that fits, well, a lot like a New Balance sneaker and doesn't weigh too much. I'd like to keep the cost down, but at the moment I'm more interested in collecting some useful vendor names and links so I can do some more research. Lay it on me, folks!

Triumph! Or, how I made friends with my brachioradialis.

A Day in the Life of the Elbow

When last we left our intrepid (insipid?) blogger, Enid was mourning the death of her left arm.

Well, boys and girls, Enid learned a new word this month:

Brachioradialis.

It all goes like this:

After the last post, I got a lot of commentary and feedback (usually in person, rather than in type, which is why it isn't too crowded down there in the archives) from other fencers. Fencers I respect, fencers with years more experience than I have, fencers who I want to be like when I grow up. Almost universally, their response was "Take time off now, before it gets any worse." So I put my feelings on the matter aside, carefully considered their advice, inserted my fingers into my ears, and went LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

But I did everything else they told me to do. :) Namely, I went out and got a pressure-point brace, started an anti-inflammatory regimen, made sure to ice it every night, and had it massaged twice a day by kindly Tibetan monks. Well, not really with the monks. But that would have been awesome. And let me tell ya, I wore that brace every damn day. I wore it driving, wore it when while I cooked, wore it playing video games, wore it sewing, and wore it at work (especially when typing. Talk about tendon isolation, wow. Typing was a pain in the butt. Well, arm. You know what I mean). The only times I didn't wear it was when I was in bed or when I'd been wearing it long enough that it started to chafe.

I also picked up some fish oil supplements and have been taking them 1-2 times per day, but that's more incidental--they're supposed to help with your joints and other things longer-term, and I'd been meaning to start on that for awhile, so it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

The esteemed and extremely spiffy Cap'n Lot also took me out in his backyard and schooled me... in how to hold my sword more effectively. He worked with me for about an hour? ish? on getting the sword better balanced in my hand, and maintaining a more correct grip and balance through the lunge, so I'm gripping it less tightly and letting the weight of the sword counterbalance properly in my hand. It's interesting to note that it was much easier to do a "proper" Italian lunge (first the arm, then the body, then the foot at the very end... when do you move your head, anyway? with the body?) with the "proper" grip on the sword, but other than noticing the improvement, I'm not really well-educated enough to observe much about that.

I was a little apprehensive about working with the arm when I planned on going to Altavia practice two days later (fencing two days in a row is what first made it start hurting), but when I was holding it right it didn't hurt at all. It actually relieved some of the pain in my arm by using different muscles, which forced the tight ones to relax so the others could contract. It was great.

Even better was the fact that it didn't hurt any worse at all the next day, and had even improved. I'd been noticing incremental improvements over the course of the week, usually first thing in the morning, with increasing soreness as I used the left arm during the day, so I expected to feel sore again on Sunday, or at least the same level of pain and weakness, but it had actually improved. It was very encouraging. I'll have to keep working on holding my sword the way he said to, because it was very comfortable, but very different from what I'm used to, and as I concentrated on lunging properly, I found myself sliding back into my old grip.

The trend continued at Lyondemere Anniversary last weekend, where by the end of the day my entire arm was exhausted, but the elbow wasn't making a peep. I pretty much danced and sang.

I woke up Sunday morning really sore, but in a bunch of new places and no old ones. My shoulder ached a little, my left lat was sore, and my bicep and tricep were both sore, but my elbow felt good. It ached a little bit, and felt warm like it had been working hard, but it didn't have that persistent, stinging throb that it's had in the last few weeks. It was really nice. It had felt good the week before, but the fact that I could go out and fence all day and have minimal side effects the next day was really reassuring.

I feel like I'm doing the right stuff to take care of it, and that's excellent news. Now the trick will be remembering to continue taking care of it as it keeps feeling better. I think I might keep wearing the brace at work, because typing really does isolate the poor bugger.

Fun at Lyondemere and New Drills

In other news, Lyondemere Anniversary was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with good folks (and adorable babies) and fence some new folks (and adorable babies) and generally have a lovely day (also, there were babies. They were pretty cute).

Laertes and I got to hang a bit, which was good. He gave me a new parry drill because I'm still having trouble synchronizing my right and left hands. I can parry fine with the sword or with the dagger, and I can attack fine with the sword, but I can hardly parry with the dagger and attack with the sword simultaneously. Well, correction--I can do it great when I think about it, but that kind of defeats the purpose. I need to get the counterattack into an instinctive, fluid motion, and specifically one This drill starts nice and slow, then gets progressively faster as it gets more comfortable. The drill is a shot to the hip, shortly followed by a low parry, then a shot to the shoulder and a high parry. The idea is that your opponent is doing the same thing in mirror, so when you attack them, they're parrying, and as they attack you parry.

I definitely need to concentrate on doing the first few rounds of this drill slowly, getting my parries locked without overcommitting them and really working on lunging with a good turn of the hip for distance, not snapping the arm out to full extension (that way lies tendon strain).

I'm having a different issue with the sword parry--I tend to take my point dramatically off-line while I'm parrying because I'm parrying with my whole arm, rather than just by adjusting the angle of my elbow and shoulder. Rather than lifting or dropping my hand, I swipe with the whole arm from one side to another, which is effective, but slow, and only works defensively. I can't counterattack effectively when my guard is off to the side, and if my opponent is fast enough to counter my parry, I'm pretty much hosed.

So in comes drill number two, some basic parries with my point resting lightly on something. I'm a little worried that I'll end up really resting the point on whatever it is (a tree, a wall, a kitten, whatever) and defeat the purpose of the drill, but I'll give it my best shot. I think if I do this one before my arm gets tired and with good concentration, I'll be okay.

Both of these drills are designed to be done with someone else, but I think I can do them at home. That inside wall of my patio is looking awfully inviting. Not to mention I have this boyfriend...

Fencer's Elbow

I've been having a touch of tennis elbow over the last couple weeks. Well, tennis or golfer's elbow, not sure--it's aggravated by lifting things and bending the elbow, which is a tennis elbow thing, but I also have some pain when I do finger-specific movements (typing, etc.), which is apparently more common in golfer's elbow... screw it, I have fencer's elbow. So say we all.

I first noticed it after an Altavia practice the day after a fairly vigorous Darach practice about a month ago, and it's sort of come and gone since then. It's gotten significantly worse in the last week, starting last weekend. I'm pretty sure I slept all of Saturday night with both arms fully extended and locked outside the covers, (odd, aren't I?) which probably aggravated it.

On Sunday I went out and bought a forearm strap on Don Eogan's recommendation. It was a little unnerving to put it on and feel an immediate relief from pain that I had previously been unaware of--I didn't realize it had hurt at all until it stopped hurting.

Fencing at Altavia on Monday with the strap on was awesome--I could feel weakness in the arm, but other than one over-extended lunge (that ended with my elbow getting clipped by the edge of my opponent's sword, arg!), I didn't feel any pain or discomfort at all. It wasn't sore at all the next morning, either (another standard symptom of tennis elbow is morning stiffness, which I haven't experienced at all yet). It got more sore as the day went on, and by Tuesday night it was pretty painful, but I went all day on Wednesday without the brace and it really didn't bother me until the end of the workday. Typing and fine finger movements (spinning the iPod wheel, for example) definitely bug me a bit, so I'm tying to avoid them... in my left hand, anyway.

At the moment, I've put myself on an ibuprofen regimen to decrease swelling, am wearing the brace almost all of my waking hours, and icing it in bed every night. I hope with a little rest and coddling it clears up by itself, because my range of motion and activity in my left arm has been badly impacted. Fortunately I'm not entirely left-hand dominant--after a couple of days I've successfully taught myself to eat with my right hand like I did when I was a kid, and as long as I keep the left elbow propped up I can type and things at work with no discomfort.

So, outlook? Well, I've had a lot of people tell me their tennis elbow stories, most of which end in "...and then I had to take two, four, six, fifteen months off! And have surgery! Which was really painful! And then my marriage ended! And my dog died! And I NEVAR FENCED AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN."

I will not be that person. I've decided. Kthxnook?thxbai.

Seriously. I'm just, just barely feeling like I'm starting to improve, damn it, and I'm not going to take some lame months off to lick my damn elbow tendon and feel sorry for myself (because, I assure you, I will feel sorry for myself, and it will be unbecoming). The very idea puts me in a cheerfully destructive frame of mind.

That being said, I'm not going to be a moron about it, either. I'll take my Advil and rest my arm and wear my brace and rest my arm and ice it every night and rest my arm and stop typing so much left-handed and rest my arm. I'll only fence once a week, I can do that. I'll stop using my left arm entirely six days and twenty-three hours a week, but I'm not going to give up my one hour of fencing unless I absolutely have to.

I may light that incense regardless.

Gyldenholt Anniversary, 2010

Fun fun fun at Gyldenholt!

This here's a big ol' post, so in the interest of easy reading, I've chunked it. It's a tech writer thing. Trust me, you'll like it.

Tourney Fights

My first tourney fight was with Don Lot. I have to confess to a moment of "Oh for God's sake" when that got called, because my two fights at Altavia Anny. were both against White Scarves, and we all know how that ended. :)

I actually thought my fight went pretty well up until the very end. I tried to put aside the knowledge that I wasn't going to be a challenging fight for him, and that by extension the whole fight was going to be an exercise in me trying new things and him letting me, which feels like an indulgence in a tourney setting, which, rather than encouraging, just defeats me in my head regardless of anyone else's intention or mindset. Oh, the headspace. Look at it go.

That reaction isn't about anyone else's demeanor or how I feel like I'm treated, on the field or off. It's all about me and my insecurities. I'm completely aware of this and, while it's a common reaction, I know it's a bad reaction, and no one is responsible for it but me. Just FYI. :)

I successfully put all that psychological crap aside for the first minute or two of the fight, while I was getting Lot's measure and gauging what it looked like he was going to do--it's hard to explain, but I can sort of tell what kind of fight my opponent is bringing in the first minute or so of a bout. It's not about guards or footwork or anything, it's about their speed, their aggression, probably a bunch of subconscious body language that I can read but not acknowledge consciously. Anyway, the first few passes and feints were spent gauging the fight a little bit.

I think my main problem was that the headspace started creeping up on me and I gave up too quickly. I threw a couple iffy shots and when they were parried, got in a bit too close and got killed. I didn't really believe in the final shot I threw which opened me up to get killed, and I came off the field disappointed that I hadn't tried harder. Shook it off, round two!

I won round two. It wasn't a pretty kill--I got a garbage shot in on the head that I barely felt as my opponent took my right leg. I did feel really good about my defense in the bout--I had a lot of nice sword parries and blocked a couple good two-hit combinations. I didn't love the killshot, but I felt really solid about my defense.

Round three took me out, and I know exactly why I died, so I was satisfied. I stepped out into the Angry Druids shot and forgot to use my offhand. I was ready to take the second step with my right foot, bringing my body off line and into the opponent's one-to-two o'clock space, and I could feel my right arm moving up to bring the dagger into place, but I got sniped in the throat before it could get there. If I had moved the dagger with the first step, I probably could have blocked it. Better luck next time.

Queen's Guard Challenges

Then we had the Queen's Guard challenges against the White Scarves and Gyldenholt Baronial Guard. They were a lot of fun, and I really felt like I fenced well.

The first fight was against the Baronial Guard, and it was great. I ended up being the last guard on the field and held off two Baronial guards, literally with my main hand behind my back. In part that last bit was because they were too polite to rush me two-on-one, but still, it looked impressive. :)

I was in the middle of the line at the beginning of that fight, which isn't great for me--I move around too much to fight productively in the middle of the line. When pinned in on both sides, I tend to go backwards, which is really bad when I'm fighting in a line! Fortunately, five Queen's Guards versus six Baronial Guards meant both lines fell apart fairly quickly and no one died because I took that step backwards. As our line dissolved and theirs pressed forward, I killed the person right in front of me, and then the person immediately to their left with a couple shots to the chest and collarbone. It was, in a word, awesome.

The two lines broke into one-on-one fights across the field, and as I was looking at a big tall guy thinking He could shoot my head right off my neck, Cecilia sniped my hand through my guard in a beautiful shot. I was shouting begrudging compliments at her as I switched hands and handed off my dagger, then booked it across the field to team up with Lorccan against Sigbjorn, Cecilia, and Yentz. Eventually it was me one handed me versus Yentz and Cecilia, which lead to my epic and heroic death, paeans to which will be sung through the annals of time by tender-footed virgins, glory glory, etc.

After that came the fight with the White Scarves. I died fast in that one, but I did get in a great shot that popped under a buckler and into a stomach. I even guarded my head properly with my dagger. Preen preen preen.

3DC 10th Anniversary Melees

I loved the melees. I thought they were original, had multiple possible roles for each fighter (killer, guard, pourer of whiskey, whatev) and the inclusion of props (like the table) made it unlikely that the scenarios would become boring line fights. There was little room in each scenario for twattery, given the expressed rules and objectives. Overall, a big win for Raz, who designed the scenarios. Good on ya, buddy!

My team was Don Colwyn and Avenel, who are both a lot of fun to fight with and against. We made finals, and got taken out by Roisin, Nathanial, and one other guy whose name I can't remember (Sorry, nameless dude!). Before that, I killed a couple people in the two-life res, and the first scenario. Fun fun fun.

Buckler Time with Avenel

After that, Avenel grabbed me and gave me some buckler schoolin'. I've felt like my buckler work hasn't been great in the last few months--I've been playing with dagger and baton so much, I tend to swat with anything you put in my right hand. When that thing's a 17" round wooden buckler, it's not effective. Either that, or I stick my hand straight out and just leave it there, not doing anything with it, and trust the surface area to protect me. BORING.

Avenel suggested I cross my right hand over my left and use the edge of the buckler to punch forward with every strike. I love this idea in principle, but certain aspects of female anatomy make getting as stark an angle as he does difficult for me. He literally sits his right hand over his left, the buckler angled over the hilt so the edge is almost parallel to the blade. I could manage the angle with his buckler (he has a dome in the middle of his and can close his hand all the way around the grip--my buckler is flat, so I can only get my fingers through the strap and flatten the buckler against the back of my hand, if necessary), but the hand and arm positioning was difficult given the placement of my guard. I could do the angle fine if my guard was about a foot higher, almost first and second. Not effective for general practice.

The idea of punching the edge of the buckler forward with the guard of my sword was really interesting. It ties in nicely with what Laertes' has been teaching me about using sword and offhand simultaneously in an attack. I could see the buckler-over-blade technique in particular working well in an Angry Druids scenario. Lots of valuable stuff to think about. I very much appreciated Avenel taking the time to walk me through the geometry and give me the suggestions--especially after he made the three-way finals in the tourney and probably had some other stuff to think about at the time. :)

Final Thoughts

Last week, I made it down to Altavia fighter practice. It was a lot of fun, and I think I'm going to try and go more regularly. The Isles practice has become really familiar for me, and I think I'd like to try fighting some new people. I also spend too much time hanging out there, and not enough fencing. In the interest of actually keeping my mind on the game, I think I'll be going to Altavia practice more and Isles practice less. It's a long drive, but it's feasible... we'll see what happens in the long run.

In other news, I'm starting to actually feel competitive. I was legitimately disappointed when my team didn't win the melees and wanted to fight in the tourney longer. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Will this help or harm my Zen? Only time will tell, I guess.

Potrero, 2010

ETA: This post has been a draft for awhile, but I just never got around to publishing it. :) Voila!

Potrero on the whole was a blast. There are some extraneous details on my LiveJournal, but here's the fencing part:

Saturday was a good day. Really, most days fighting melee are good days. I'm much happier attacking from the side than I am attacking from straight ahead, so any day I can snipe someone in the throat from their one or eleven o'clock is a good day for me.

I'm a lot better at head, chest, and neck shots from an angle than I am from straight ahead. In part it's because I know I don't have to watch my defense as much from the side, so I'm more comfortable being aggressive, and in part it's because I always worry about hitting too hard when I'm attacking from the front, because I tend to like to get in and out as fast as possible. This results in my jabbing my arm out without much force behind it, rather than going into a full, and fully controlled, lunge; ironically, this would protect me more if I did it correctly, and when I do, I tend not to die unless I do something amazingly stupid and lunge myself into someone's point. Like so many issues, it is, at its root, a confidence thing, not an ability thing.

Sunday was also good. I skipped the first melee in the interest of waking up slowly and fought for the rest of the day. I had given Saturday my all and Sunday was a lot harder, but I never felt like I was losing control, hitting too hard, or being unsafe in any of the standard "You are too tired to fence" ways.

It was hot. Getting back into Darach's marine layer of gentle humidity and 18-hour-a-day fog was a wonderful change.

For the record, I have to say, I love the Caid Rapier community. I feel a lot about the group the way I imagine some people must feel about their extended families. It's a wonderfully supportive, cheerful place to learn and try new things, and while (like an extended family) I may not like everyone individually, I like the vast majority, and I like the group. Thanks, all. :)

Altavia Anniversary, 05/22/10

Oof.

Altavia Anniversary was lots of fun, but oh MAN, did I suck on the rapier front. It was confusing, it was annoying, it was frustrating, and it was discouraging. By the end of the day, I was so frustrated, I didn't want to fight anymore. I pretty much just wanted to dig a hole and sit in it for awhile. In short, I was sulking.

When I was in high school, I did a lot of performing. I sang in two choirs, did every school play, and the yearly musical. When I first started performing, I would spend most of my on-stage time making sure I was saying the right lines, doing the right dance steps, staying in tune, harmonizing correctly, and, when I remembered, being nervous. As the years passed, the stage fright and self-analysis faded, and it got to the point where I didn't even think anymore, I just did. The really good performances, I couldn't even remember once I got off stage. It wasn't that I was performing by rote or that I was bored--I became a vehicle for my technique.

I'm not at that point in my fencing game. I'm still in the first blush of learning new stuff, where a lot of my time on the field is preoccupied with thinking. I think about what I'm going to do, I think about my calibration and measure, I think about the person I'm fighting, I think about speed, I think about everything. This isn't necessarily at bad thing at the moment--as long as I'm not preoccupied with negative brain stuff, like nervousness or self-consciousness, it's okay. I'm supposed to be analyzing and applying my new skills and techniques, and if I have to think about them to do them right now, that's okay. For now. Eventually, it'll get to the point where I don't have to think about it (not one day too soon, in my opinion), but not today.

Well, yesterday, I wasn't thinking at all. I wasn't analyzing, planning, scheming, plotting, or concocting. By the end of the day, I wasn't even reacting. And it sucked.

That point, the part where I'm not thinking, I'm just doing, is the Zen I'm constantly harping on about. Sometimes I feel it--or, at least, feel it in the aftermath, because it sort of asserts itself without my noticing and I don't realize until it's gone that it was there at all. I know I won't have the Zen fencing every fight forever once I hit a certain point, but I'd like to have it regularly once I improve a little bit. For now, I'm stuck with my brain making noise most of the time.

I can't really remember any of my fights from yesterday. I can remember the fights from practice, I can remember the fights from Darach Anniversary last week, but I can't remember the fights from yesterday. I remember my first fight with Don Andre pretty well, because I was thinking and had a plan and all that good stuff, but everything after that was just awful.

As I think I've said before, I don't get annoyed when I lose, especially not when I lose to someone who's been fighting a lot longer and is a lot better than I am. I get annoyed when I lose and I can't figure out what I did wrong or how I got killed. That was my day all day yesterday.

Dons Andre and Alexander were kind enough to walk me through the fights afterward and, as always, Laertes was right there before and after to give me tips, pointers, suggestions, and encouragement. I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by very patient, encouraging, inspiring people who are willing to give their time and energy to help me improve my game, even when I'm being a bit of a brat about it.

I think this is the first hurdle Laertes mentioned I'd hit--where I'm getting a lot of new information and trying to implement it. He said the first little while of the studentship would be really frustrating because I wouldn't be improving, even though I had all these shiny new tricks and ideas to use. Quite possible.

Man, I wish I didn't get discouraged so easily. I've always been better at talking myself down than shoring myself up, and the more something matters to me, the harder I am on myself. I may not be a great fencer, but I have, like, a black belt in beating myself up.

This is something I notice in my personal life as well--the arsenal of things I have to make me feel good about myself is far outgunned by the arsenal of things I have to make myself feel worse. But that's a post for another day and another blog.

The solution to this, obviously, is more practice. Nate (Dylan, to those of you in the scene) suggested that maybe I was being too hard on myself and driving myself too hard to perform, but I think the opposite is true--I'm not practicing enough, or drilling enough. I know that results won't come overnight, but if I don't feel like I'm really doing my all, I have a reason to feel bad about my performance. If I feel like I'm working hard enough, I have no reason to beat up on myself. Slow and steady and all that.

I wasn't feeling great at the beginning of Darach practice today, and my first fight with Askell was terrible and very discouraging, but Don Alexander worked with me for entirely longer than he should have at playing with constraints (I've gotten how they worked just fine, it's the what to do after I get up in the face part I've had trouble with). After that I was back in the learning headspace and feeling a lot better.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

(Also, I have some new drills. More on those later.)

Darach Anniversary/Altavia Equestrian (05/15/10)

This past weekend was Darach Anny/Altavia Equestrian (also the debut of the boyfriend's new haircut, the advent of which was the cause of much bemoaning and suffering on my facebook wall by the female population of my flist... poor ladies. I still love him, though).

First of all, I have new drills! The Angry Druids drill now has part two, which resolves my off-balance problem (although it introduces some new footwork complications). And lo, there were also large coasters. That one should be fun, once I figure it out.

Secondly, fencing was not terribly productive, but still satisfying and fun! Died a lot courtesy of Don Eogan and Edward, but I knew why I died and that was all good. Laertes mentioned that I was much more aggressive than usual against Edward, and I knew it was because I'd fought him a lot in the past, was more comfortable, and knew that I wouldn't have a prayer if I didn't take the initiative on him.

Thirdly, I think children under 6 should be banned from SCA events entirely and forever! If there hadn't been so damn many ADORABLE BABIES at Darach, I totally would have been more productive. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

Fighter Practice, 05/05/10

Did a bit of fencing at fighter practice last week. I went up against Alke, who hasn't been around recently but is always a fun fight, and Zhivana.

I wasn't really in the analytical headspace while fighting, but I did do some musing on drills, which I'll share and expound on below:

The Angry Druids Drill

This drill involves an attack in 2nd/3rd and small forward motion, much like the standard Italian lunge. The key difference is that instead of going straight forward, I pop my foot out to the side and let the motion carry me laterally, essentially moving my body in a 45 degree angle toward my opponent, rather than straight at them.

I've practiced this drill a fair amount over the last few weeks, and am slowly getting it into the autopilot section of my brain, where my first reaction to a forward attack from a right-handed person is to wait for them to withdraw and counterattack by popping out to the side, or engage an incoming attack with an off-hand parry and simultaneous counter in the lateral position.

So far, the results have been good. I have yet to pop out into an oncoming blade, or do one of the spectacular blade-bending pratfalls that elicits sympathetic "OOH!"s from the audience in my head. I've even, like, killed people with this shit. Bene, si?

Well, it still doesn't feel quite right. The problem is, I feel like it takes significantly more effort to get out of the lunged position than it does to get into it. It could be a couple things, and I'm not sure which one it is:

1. My weight is too far over on my left leg when I land, or
2. I'm leaning forward too far and throwing my butt out behind me to compensate, or
3. My foot isn't correct, which makes my knee not right, which throws my hips out of alignment, or
4. My foot isn't right and because of that, I'm losing my center and getting too much weight over on my left side, or
5. Some combination of 3 and 4 (I think it might be this one).

Whatever the issue is, I don't feel like I can recover from this position fast enough to protect myself--it's about as fast as a regular lunge, but because my weight gets redistributed oddly, I feel stuck in it and have trouble drawing back up to my regular position.

I appreciate that the proper execution of this drill is made and broken by the position of the hips during and immediately after the forward foot (for my purposes, my left foot) hits the ground. At first I really wasn't moving my weight enough, or I'd move it too much--I'd either end with my left leg sort of pointing off in the distance somewhere with no significant change in my torso compared to a standard lunge, or I'd end up with 80% of my weight on my left foot, my knee bent just absurdly far, my right foot almost coming off the ground behind me, and way lower to the ground than I usually am when I lunge. I imagine I looked extremely silly.

In short, I feel like I'm doing much better with this drill than I was, and I find it really effective and useful--but something about the execution just hasn't quite clicked yet. Ponder ponder.

In other news, a different drill is working great for me. I can't practice it by myself, but it's incredibly easy to use against an opponent (although that same ease of use makes it difficult to use in all the guards, because I'm only using it for the guards my opponents attack me in). It's a simple flick of the tip as an attack is coming towards you--effectively, it's a small parry with the false edge of your blade that becomes an attack with the strong through a quick turn of the wrist.

It's difficult to describe in text, but incredibly easy to use in real life, and works much better with my brain than the classic Italian "parry that is also attack" style. I don't often trust myself or my skills enough to parry-attack correctly, and I think the self-doubt and hesitation results in me getting killed a lot more than improper technique... :) The simultaneous parry-attack is one of the first things I learned in fencing, and I know I do it right--I just don't believe it when I do it, if that makes sense.

So, pluses and minuses. I know I'm making progress, although it feels much slower than I'd like. :) Onward and upward.

Fighter Practice, 04/28/10

So this week I actually made it to fighter practice! O frabjous day!

Isles practice is not as satisfying as it once was--people who go there tend to show up later, because many of them live within 5-10 minutes away from the practice site and when I have an hourlong commute to consider and work to get to the next morning, fencing from 8 to 11 really isn't an option. The time between me (and Nate) getting there and everyone else getting there, however, is long enough for me to do all the solo footwork and pointwork drills Laertes gave me.

I also spend too much time socializing, and not enough fencing, but that's my fault, not anyone else's. :)

So I spent some time fencing with Vernon. Specifically, we did the box drill, which I had done a few weeks earlier with Juanica. I've pretty much gotten to the point where I can do the cone footwork drills backwards, forwards, and in my sleep at top speed without feeling like I'm losing my center, so I usually do them for warmups (or I'll take a newbie through who's having trouble with their footwork). Here's a hint for footwork, kids: If you feel like you're walking like a duck, you're doing it wrong.

Anyway, the box drill. The box is made of four cones and is rectangular--two long sides, two short sides. The only rule of the box drill is you can't leave the box. Sounds easy, right? Well, when you're me, Chief Warlord and Supreme Ruler of Going Backward to Get Out of Trouble, no, it's not easy. That box is also small. Like, probably two feet on a narrow end and three on a wide. It's basically big enough for me to do a tiny advance and retreat when I'm standing in the center facing a narrow edge, and a tiny right or left step when I'm facing a wide edge.

The goal of the box drill is to improve defense by removing the ability to move. If you can't move, you've gotta have good hand and sword parries, fast reflexes, and good balance. The balance thing isn't really important until you don't have it--then that great big head void becomes you falling on your ass and feeling, in a word, dum. No, you don't even get a B on the end of that. That's exactly how dum you feel.

So all was fine and dandy in Boxland until Vernon offered to let me come back into the center of the box. I hadn't even noticed, but I'd stolen a couple tiny retreats until my back heel was planted happily between the two back cones. I knew I couldn't go backwards anymore, so I didn't. This said some nice stuff about my ability to gauge distance when I'm not looking... but I was still trying to go backwards. Just less.

So I moved into the center of the box, resolving not to move again. Instantly, everything fell apart. I was getting hit right, left, and center. I was so hung up on NOT GOING BACKWARDS that my reaction time slowed, my reflexes shorted out, and my brain totally shut off. In short, I was thinking too loud. My Zen was gone.

I realize it's a ridiculous thing to have happen, especially since I was fencing fine without going backwards before it was called to my attention. I think part of the reason I moved backwards in the first place is because I do place a lot of trust in my ability to maintain balance, so I wanted to get back to a more comfortable engagement where I felt like I actually had room to void and move a little.

The brain-fartery carried on when we changed positions and I was facing a wide end of the box. I started including my right hand in parries, rather than just my sword hand, and ended up grabbing Vernon's sword like an absolute newbie, or perhaps a bad Highlander reenactor. At that point, I lost my temper a little, kicked a wall, and forgave myself for not being perfect all the time, even if I wanted to be.

Better this week, I hope.

Baby Got Back (Problems)

So, it's been awhile since I've posted, in large part because it's been awhile since I fenced. :(

After a couple weeks of practice being rained out or me incorrectly assuming it would be rained out, and therefore not going, my back went out in a major way the Sunday of Collegium, which resulted in me taking two weeks off practice.

I don't have a chronically bad back, per se, but I do have chronic low-grade chiropractic problems and hypermobile joints. I inherited them from my mother (although hers seem to have gotten a lot better in the last 10 years, and I'm hoping I'll experience similar recovery later in life). These have caused various problems over the years--I dislocated something in my thigh when I was 10 or 12 and tripped on the stairs (it can't have been the whole thing, because I put it back in myself, but wow, it was painful), tore cartilage in my ribcage on a backpacking trip in high school because a rib went out of alignment while I was wearing a big heavy pack, and I'm fairly sure they're why I tore the ligaments in the arch of my right foot last winter.

One of the nice things about having hypermobile joints is that once they go out, they're fairly easy to put back in by myself, and provided I get enough exercise and keep up a certain baseline of muscle mass, I don't suffer from major chiropractic injuries or displacements very often. One of the bad things about having hypermobile joints is that when they go out badly, they tend to go out again after they've been fixed, especially once they've been out for awhile already and all the wrong muscles are swollen. In those cases, swelling essentially makes the path of least resistance the "out" position the joint was in earlier.

All of this foolishness can be almost completely overcome by a few simple luxuries--Advil and/or Tiger Balm to relax muscles when necessary, lots of stretching and some light weight-bearing exercise (like, say, fencing), one of those orthopedic neck pillows (not memory foam--those eventually compress under the weight of my -enormous- head and give no more support than any regular pillow), fish oil supplements, and so on. I don't deserve any particular sympathy or comfort here, because I know how to take care of myself and 95 percent of my joint issues can be handled non-medically and with regular self-care. There are people out there with real medical issues that they can't heal themselves--they deserve sympathy and support. The point of this post is to illustrate, not to host a pity party. :)

Anyway, my back went out on Sunday morning, I got it fixed Monday afternoon, and skipped practice Wednesday. I was experiencing warm pain, weakness, tingling, and extremely limited range of motion until the Sunday after, so I decided to skip practice again the Wednesday following, just to be safe.

This also meant skipping a couple weeks of my wrist and arm strengthening exercises. The offending vertebra was in the center of my upper back (somewhere in the T-1 to T-3 region), so doing any exercises that involved extending my arms straight forward was extremely painful and resulted in spasms (I was driving with my left hand exclusively for awhile, because my right side hurt more than my left).

This was a really frustrating couple of weeks. I'd honestly thought joint flare-ups this bad were a thing of the past. The fact that I could still be incapacitated by back pain even though I was getting enough exercise and taking good enough care of myself (I thought!) really tanked my enthusiasm and self-esteem for a couple days there. I consider myself both lazy and self-indulgent, so the fact that I could throw my back out just sitting in the car dealt a huge blow to what was never a great body image or opinion of my own athleticism to begin with.

So, when I complain about my back or neck hurting, that's why--I have chronic chiropractic problems, and they're why I've been off the horse for the last few weeks. Onward and upward!

King's Hunt, 2010

Have refrained from ZARMing (that's what these posts have become in my head, ZARM posts) in the last few weeks because there hasn't been a lot of action at Isles practice (read also, I skipped Isles practice because it was finals week and spring break and figured there wouldn't be much going on there). I was having some trouble with the Angry Druids drill, but Laertes and I worked it out on Saturday at King's Hunt and I've got some more tools to improve.

King's Hunt left me with some additional drills which I will list here for no one's benefit but my own. :)

Angry Druids 2, now with more pointwork!
ZZ Top Lightening Bolt (parry drill)
Trapped in a Cone Box (narrow side)
Trapped in a Cone Box (long side)

This adds to the original drills:

Angry Druids
Figure-8 Cones (footwork drill)
Figure-8 Cones (footwork drill, backwards)
Arm and Wrist Strengthening (weights)

Fencing at King's Hunt was okay, pretty good, meh, and not great by turns. :)

On Friday night I sucked allllll over the field. I was stressed out about running the event, a little annoyed for reasons unrelated to this post, not concentrating or in the headspace at all, and had too much on my mind. I had fun, don't get me wrong, but I got killed like 3 times in the exact same way and eventually stopped before I was to disgusted with myself. :)

I asked Raphael how he killed me twice in the same place and he (to my eternal gratitude) was not at all condescending when he reminded me to move my offhand into a defensive position when I lunge. Doh. This was a good indicator that I was just plain not in the fencing headspace, and I'm glad I stopped while I was still serene enough to learn something from getting beaten so badly, rather than giving it another couple shots and getting really frustrated with myself.

Saturday was a bit better. I faced Cassandre and Edward (AKA Lord Pinky) in the Unscarved list and was out in two. That wasn't disappointing--they're both better and more experienced fencers than I am and I was neither one-shotted, nor tunnel-visioned, nor deer-in-the-headlighted at any point during the fights.

Cassandre said she'd waited for me to get a rhythm in my baton swings and sniped me in counter-time. What does this say to me? Well, better defense, so snipes don't connect, but also to fight more with single. The less I rely on my offhand, the more likely I am to be able to parry an unexpected attack, even if I have an established rhythm the opponent is trying to exploit. I think I just said the same thing twice. :)
As I've said before, one of the reasons I like to fight baton is that it makes me more confident and aggressive--and, unfortunately, one of the reasons it makes me more confident and aggressive is because it covers a lot of important flaws in my defense that simply can't be saved by dagger or buckler. Ergo, less baton, more single, and eventually more dagger. Fortunately, I have plenty of shiny new parry drills and a "Do not move ha ha" defense drill which should help with that.

Pinky even came up afterward and said I'd done much better than the last time we'd fought, which was a lovely unsolicited compliment that had me smiling and happy every time I thought about it. That, combined with the willingness of my opponents to tell me exactly how they had kicked my ass and how to make it more challenging for them next time, combined with some new tricks from the big L (and Don Alex B. as he watched us), made me feel very good about how the whole weekend turned out, fencing-wise. It was, as they say, a "learning experience," and not one of those nasty painful ones that culminates in a huge hangover.

On Saturday Laertes mentioned that this part (colloquially known as "the beginning") of the studentship can be extremely frustrating because people tend to learn a bunch of new stuff but not feel like they're improving. I have yet to reach that part of the experience--I'm still stoked to have the opportunity to learn more and do more, still stoked to be getting some tools which are geared to help me improve some of my specific weaknesses, and absolutely bomb-tastic thrilled to have been given this opportunity and the chance to exploit it in such a friendly, supportive community.

Crown Tourney, Spring 2010

Crown this weekend was really fun. It's always nice to camp for a weekend without having to pack the truck to bursting and drive 5+ hours--that's one of the (many, many) things I like about GWW, King's Hunt, and Crown (when we have it).

Anyway, I suppose I should talk about the elephant in the room...

On Sunday morning, Don Laertes officially accepted me as his student. We've been working on various fencing things at every event for the last 6 months or so (since Altavia Anniversary and Investiture and except for Estrella, which he didn’t go to), and I’m really excited to be working with him. It sounds silly, but it’s very flattering to feel like somebody is taking a personal interest in helping me improve something I care a lot about.

It was funny—as soon as he first mentioned the studenting thing to me as a possibility, Laertes stressed that becoming his student wasn’t an accomplishment per se, so much as it was an acknowledgement of the relationship we already had and a commitment to stick to it and continue to work together. So when he made his little speech Sunday morning, a bunch of people came up to me and started hugging me, shaking my hand, and congratulating me, and I was very surprised! Not that I mind all the praise and petting, of course—my ego loved it. :) I was just in the headspace that I was becoming someone’s student precisely because I have so much more to learn and so little experience, having people come up to me and congratulate me about it was completely unexpected.

It kind of threw some stuff into perspective for me. Possibly more on that later, we’ll see.

Anyway, right after that we went off and worked on some stuff. One of the first things he had me do was stand with him in the middle of the eric, in engagement range, and back up to within 3 feet of the eric ropes without looking at them. I stopped about 4 feet away, which was okay with me—I was worried I wouldn’t stop in time and would go over them! Then he had me do it with my eyes closed. Stopped about 3 feet away—good stuff!

Then he told me to stay at the edge of the eric, close my eyes, and advance to engagement range without looking at him. I did it, but I opened my eyes on the last step to make sure I wouldn’t impale him (never mind that he’s a grown up and could probably have moved out of the way in time…). Did it again. At that point I’d gone the same distance enough times that I didn’t feel like I was really feeling it anymore per se—I caught myself counting steps, so when I’d successfully completed the exercise I went back to the ropes and asked him to move back a bit so I wouldn’t be able to tell the distance from memory. He did, and I stopped exactly in engagement range. Maybe a little close, but dude.

Laertes said something along the lines of “see, your body already has really good judge of distance,” and I wanted to yell “Yeah, did you see that? Did you see me walk right there? I walked all OVER this eric! I’m a fucking NINJA!” And it’s true. I felt like a fucking ninja. Or possibly a tiger. Or a shark. Something really cool that can kill you really fast. Anyway. It was very exciting.

Then there were cones. And footwork drills. Footwork drills that had me going around the cones a lot. Then backwards. It’s sort of hard to describe, but I’ll be doing them tonight at fighter practice if anyone wants to watch or play. :)

Last but not least, I was presented with my very own inaugural 7 pound hand weight. At Great Western, Laertes taught me some wrist and arm strengthening exercises (I think he saw how much I was suffering because I hadn’t fenced in like a month before that), and suggested I do them with a small weight. When I saw him on Sunday he gave me a 7 pounder and told me that it was my goal.

I’m supposed to work up to being able to do 4 sets of 20 of each type of exercise (there are 5) with the 7 pound weight. Yesterday I decided my little 1-pounder was too boring and went to Big 5. After about 10 minutes of (probably very silly looking) waffling between the 2 and 3 pound weights, I went for a 3 pounder in a lovely shade of Kelly green. The 2 pounders just didn’t feel big enough to challenge me (and they were hot pink, which had absolutely nothing to do with my choice). I’ve been doing the exercises on the drive to work, and this morning I could do 1 warm-up with with 1 pounder and 3 sets with the 3 pounder before my arms got all warm and were like “No more!” I was very proud of myself.

Let’s see, this post has gotten significantly longer than I’d first imagined. I guess I’m just very excited to be taking some concrete steps in my fencing career. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to say in these posts than “Good pointwork today” from now on!

Oh, and thanks again for all the support, y’all. Either from the comments or the congratulations at Crown, it means a lot to me, and I really appreciate it. <3

Estrella War, 2010

I fenced much better at Estrella this year than last year. I even zippered a line with the help of the suave and dashing Marcos de la Cruz! I haven't done that since my first Estrella, when I was killing people left, right, and center because I was obviously shiny new and everyone ignored me. :)

Cue my brags: He and I were keeping a line with him anchoring a corner on my right. He said “You ready?” and I said “Yep!” and he took out the guy directly in front of me and turned that into a charge at the guy directly in front of him. That guy, who was anchoring the corner on his side, backed up a couple steps which gave me room to kill the guy on my left, then the guy after him, and the guy after him… I know it doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but I was very proud of myself and, more importantly, I remember the whole thing clearly and understand why it worked the way it did. No tunnel vision! Yay me!

I don't have much new to say about how I fenced at Estrella. I did pretty well avoiding the melee tunnel vision (meaning when I res'd I managed to find a tactically useful place to go fight, rather than just filing back into the meat grinder lines, which I've always found frustrating and exhausting). My point control was good--I took lots of arms and hands. I didn't get killed in lines because I wasn't paying attention to the right people (this was my big weakness last year, so I'm really glad to be able to say that). Except for one notable exception, I didn't get pissed off and, fortunately, wasn't hit too hard at all. It was nice.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the social aspect of rapier, which is part of what's kept this post from being written for so long.

My Estrella post:

First, and most importantly, I'm not perfect. I'm not a saint, and I'm certainly not a consistent model of exemplary conduct on the field. I don't want this to come off as a sermon, or a rant, or a diatribe... I just have strong opinions and feel the need to analyze them, and how do I do that best? By writing about it, of course!

In terms of fencing conduct, exceptions must be made for different Kingdoms. We all have our own rules, and, just as importantly, our own unspoken guidelines which most of us abide by but aren't written down anywhere. I'm not one of those people who goes around trash-talking every fencer from outKingdom (or from a certain specific Kingdom) because they applied their rules to our fight. I don't like getting hit too hard, just like everyone else, but getting hit too hard is not the same as getting hit with positive pressure. I don't like getting hit from the side without seeing it coming, but I don't get pissed off when it happens if the person who killed me is from a kingdom with different engagement rules than Caid's (180-degree engagement versus 120, etc.). As far as I know, no Kingdom's rules encourage hitting as hard as you can, hitting multiple times, or hitting from outside range. Those are the faults of the fencer, not the entire rapier community of a Kingdom.

Nobody's perfect. People make mistakes and other people get pissed off because of them. I tend to do both, occasionally at the same time.  I do my share of smack-talking and chest-thumping in camp, but I try to leave it off the field. I try really hard to control my temper on the field, not start any trash talk, and be generous in my stated opinions of people and how questionable scenarios played out. Sometimes I fail, but I try. We all have our weaknesses, and my big mouth is mine. I've known this for a long time, so I try to keep it under control on the field, even if I have to vent once I'm off (I'm a verbal processor, I have to talk to get my feelings in order and get them out).

(CONFESSION: I did get pissed off at one point at Estrella and called someone a jackass as I was walking back to res, but I said it very quietly to myself and made sure I was far enough away that he didn't hear me (Lot heard me, but Lot hears everything bad that I do. He's like the principal of rapier.). Dude had just blown off a kill to the chest after telling me "I've taken a lot harder," so either he felt it and decided not to take it or he didn't feel it, which is possible... I felt contact when I hit him, but accidents happen and I know it's easy to blow off a shot on the melee field. I like to think I still would have taken it had I been in his shoes, but I can't be sure. I still thought it was good. ANYWAY. That's neither here nor there--I was annoyed. By the time I got back to the res point, I was over it. Bottom line: It was the wrong way to handle it, it was immature, but I knew the person wasn't going to have a real discussion with me about it and I just needed to do something with my anger so I didn't bring it back onto the field with me. See? I'm not perfect. Moving on.)

All that being said, there are some standards of behavior which I apply to everyone, of every rank and experience level, from every kingdom. In my opinion, these standards must be met or at least worked towards for everyone to have a good time on the field. It's extremely disappointing to see people blow off shots, refuse to apologize or even acknowledge that they hit too hard, or start counter-accusing people who put them on the spot by calling out their bad behavior.

Worst of all is when you see someone who's got some clout in another Kingdom behaving like a high school quarterback in the locker room. I had to think about why it was such a big deal to me that people of rank conduct themselves better than the Average Joe, so let's talk this one through, shall we? In my opinion, if you've got rank, you've got even more responsibility than the average person to conduct yourself well around members of other Kingdoms, regardless of their rank. If you're a White Scarf, or a Knight crossing over to the fencing field, or a Laurel, or a King, you are a living, breathing representation of the populace of your Kingdom even more so than the average Joe Fencer.

So why do people with rank count more than the Average Joe? Because we're not actually a feudal society in the SCA, nor are we an (entirely) merit-based one. Certain awards can be given for sheer skill in one area, with less emphasis on service or conduct (Kingship and, I imagine, Laurelling--I don't know that many Laurels or that much about how they're made, so I'm a little hesitant to make that judgment), but even those awards carry the weight of expectation--as a Laurel, you're expected to distribute your time and skill among the people, educating them and encouraging their interests. As a King, you're making a commitment of 3-9 months, depending on the Kingdom, to serve your people as a visual and behavioral ideal--for six months, you become Arthur, and your Queen becomes Guinevere, and you have to handle all the positive and negative stereotypes encompassed in those roles. But by and large, in the SCA, you get where you get by being able to play nice with others as well as excelling at combat, art, or service. You rise because people believe you're worth it. As it says on the inside of the Caid crown, You Rule Because They Believe.

Now if you take your pointy hat or your pretty belt or your shiny scarf out on the field and act like an asshole, you're sending a very clear message that isn't just about you, but about every member of your Kingdom, as well. This person is acknowledged as exemplary in their skill or their martial art in their Kingdom, even though they're being a total dick on the field. Well, they're from [insert name of Kingdom here], not my Kingdom. I guess they do things differently there.

Subtext here being, I guess they don't care if a person's an asshole there. Or maybe, I guess they don't think s/he's an asshole there.

Then, of course, you look at a person like that, a person of rank who’s expected to return some service to their Kingdom taking students, and what else can you think? You’re seeing the perpetuation of some pretty awful behavior being encouraged and ingrained on the minds and conduct of people who will, one day, probably take their own turn leading the community. And yes, some of those students will probably grow up to be perfectly nice people (just like some of the students of perfectly nice people have grown up to be assholes), but the message is the same—people from this Kingdom want to be this guy’s students. Clearly, people in this Kingdom don’t think he’s an asshole.

These are very bad reactions to have. After the initial reaction, of course we all know that the actions of one person don't represent the opinions, conduct, or personality of their whole Kingdom. That being said, when you look at a person who's been awarded, praised, and touted up and down their Kingdom who consistently acts like a jerk on the field and doesn't do anything to change it, you start to think That Kingdom has different values than my Kingdom. Eventually, this becomes That Kingdom doesn’t care about chivalry/honor/ as much as my Kingdom.

So what do we do when we see a person like that, a person who is apparently so high up on their horse that they either can’t hear the admonitions of their peers, or don’t care? I don’t have any good solutions here, so I’m looking for suggestions.

It seems like time doesn’t change a person who blows off shots, a person who hits too hard and laughs about it, a person who yells at the person they’ve just injured, a person who cheats. Do we need more aggressive marshalling? If we had it, would this solve the problem if the offenders had rank? (Personally, I think more aggressive marshalling would drive me crazy, especially on the war field where it seems like every time a marshal has a conversation of more than ten words with someone we have to call a hold, but it’s an option. It might even help cool tempers a little, I don’t know). Do we need someone to just yell at these guys until they get it? I’ve seen that happen, or start to happen, and it doesn’t seem to work.

I’ve found that the only way I can deal with these guys and still respect other members of the fencing community from their Kingdoms is by pretending they don’t have the rank that they do—after all, if they rule because I believe, or if our awards are really just symbols of inner quality, if I don’t see the quality, why should I acknowledge the award? And this is a terrible perspective to have! So how else can I acknowledge my anger, do something with it rather than choking it down, and not feel like I’ve bowed my head to someone who doesn’t deserve it?

How do you get an asshole to respect you as much as he respects himself?

Okay, two pages later I think I’ve about exhausted that topic… for now. ;)

Thoughts? Comments? Feedback? Flames? Lay it on me!

Dun Or War Practice, 01/31/10

Fencing at Dun Or this weekend was challenging, but overall went really well.

About 20 mins before we got to the site, my body sent up the red flag that I had definitely not gotten enough sleep last night, so I arrived at the site with a slight headache, some nausea, and general crankiness. I'm usually okay when I haven't gotten enough sleep, but I already had some sleep debt from the last couple days and I don't exactly wake up lightening-fast anyway, so if I'm sleep deprived and expecting to have to do anything more complicated than suck down coffee and stare at the computer first thing in the AM, it's bad news bears. In retrospect, I probably could have completed the wakeup process if I'd had Nate drive instead of doing so myself, but that's neither here nor there.

A couple warmups later, I was mostly awake but still had a headache. Some edamame and water fixed it, and I was good to go. Pretty much as soon as the melees started, Laertes positioned himself right next to me and started up what would be an essentially nonstop stream of advice and information. This might drive the average person crazy, but I'm definitely not average--I'm a huge multitasker.

(This is part of why I don't go to movies in the theater very often--the idea of sitting in the dark staring at something and doing nothing else for two hours makes me twitchy just thinking about it. Maybe my little brother's not the only one in my family with ADD. Look, a butterfly! ANYWAY.)

So in the first melee I got killed while paying too much attention to following instructions, but after that I got the swing of things and life improved dramatically. Maybe I was in a "learning" headspace or something, but for some reason it was very easy for me to see the open spots on the field, the areas where the gentle application of a little pressure could seriously mess things up for the other team. Usually my eye is drawn to the groups on the field, the clusters of people in lines or pockets doing something. Usually I try to get around the back and DFB some folks, which has limited success. This time, Laertes had me follow him around while he wreaked some havoc in the backfield, and something clicked in my brain. Then things got seriously fun.

I still died too much. I need to work on my reaction time, and my parry-ripostes. Especially the parry-ripostes. Onward and upward.

More practice tonight--we'll see how much gets done with some of Isles wiped out by post-event fatigue and a traveling head cold. I don't really want to go because my insomnia's still acting up and I just want to curl into a ball and sleep for about 12 hours, but some exercise will probably help me sleep better tonight. Well, some exercise, some booze, some time in the spa, and a melatonin pill. Hellllll yeah, melatonin pill.

Temperance

"Temperance Reversed: Too much introspection. Possibility of being stuck in past in career or relationships. Stop looking back and move forward. Time to take charge and get on with plan. Let your hair down and relax your guard a bit. Time for some fun. Take a chance on something new and exciting. Welcome new ideas, perhaps with radical undertones. Take up a new hobby or sport. It's time to let go a bit and enjoy a new vitality. "

That's today's randomly generated Tarot card, courtesy of my Facebook. Temperance has always been one of my favorite Tarot cards, but too much of it can lead to stagnation, boredom, and depression. I'm not just posting 'cause I like the card; it seems very appropriate for my day in general.

I had a lovely time at war practice. For the first half-hour or so I really wasn't sure it was going to be worth the drive, the time, and the energy I could have otherwise spent sleeping, but by the end of the day I was really glad I went. It was a good day fencing-wise, personally, and fencing-relatedly. :)

More on that tomorrow. Now--to bed, for fencing gear repair, cuddles, and Samurai Champloo!

Fighter Practice, 01/27/2010

Fencing on Wed. was generally uneventful.

Did some slow work with Theo--got her to close the line, lunge properly, and guard her head with her dagger all at once, which was cool. She was just sort of jabbing at me with her arm and no body commitment, so I explained a little bit about calibration and how lunging properly can actually help protect you better than just being out of the way and poking with your arm while keeping your body as far back as possible. She seemed to get it.

I asked her after if it was okay that I was dumping all this information on her, and she said yes, so I guess I'm doing the right stuff. :)

After that I fenced with Elo. She's a fun fight--her primary offhand is cloak, so even though we were going with sword and baton, she had a lot of swirly motion in her body--like when she parried she would roll her whole offhand-shoulder forward like she was trying to foul my point with a nonexistent cloak. Of course, I realize this now, but at the time I was just sort of distracted. She used the foul-with-cloak-then-counterpunch technique really well, especially given that she was using a baton. :) I should have manipulated that more effectively--every time she did it, I either died or parried messily. If I'd had a dagger, I could have rushed in and ganked her, but didn't happen.

Good point control, though. I snaked in and tapped her all pretty on the chest a couple times, and I solved the baton problem by taking her hand. Over and over and over. Then I would give up my baton, she would take my primary hand, and we would start over. Not effective.


In other news, I love my baton. It's good that I don't fight with it very often, because it's totally a crutch, but I love it so much. It's like a huge, heavy dagger that I can beat up other people's swords with, distract them, or use as a windshield wiper. I don't need good defense as long as I have my baton, right? Right?

...Guys?

Angels Melee, 01/16/2010

I've had the same issue fighting melee for awhile--well, I guess it's two problems. 1. I have trouble going forward (this also applies to tourney fencing, but I'm much more timid than usual on the melee field), and 2. I get really bad tunnel vision.

The first problem happens in line fights. Let me clarify--I'm not afraid of getting hit or killed or whatever. I'm rarely in the dead-center of a line and have never been "that guy" who gets killed and then leaves a huge hole in the line that collapses the whole thing. I'm not afraid of getting hit too hard or anything--I take a certain pride in my fencing bruises, thank you very much. :)

The problem illustrates an overall lack of confidence in my defensive (and therefore, by extension, offensive) skills which I'd really like to change. I have no problem dying over and over in the interest of learning something, but when I die in a line fight I don't feel like I learn anything--it's very easy for me to get frustrated in a line fight, unlike in other types of melee fighting, because I feel like it's so unproductive me intellectually. I have plenty of confidence but I'm not quite up to speed, physically or conceptually. It's frustrating, and I don't really want to talk more about it right now because I've already filled my frustration quota for today. :) Maybe it's just that I need more practice. I don't know--part of the reason this is frustrating at all is because I can't identify why I'm having this problem, I just know I'm having it.

Same with the tunnel vision thing. I tend to freeze up more in melees, possibly because so much other shit is going on around me, and when I'm one-on-one with someone else I make shitty little potshots with no originality or tactics whatsoever. I think it's because I have so much other crap on my mind, first and foremost being ready to shout at people if someone's coming up alongside or behind them, and secondly not getting sneaked up on or DFB'd myself. Practice practice practice. How to improve my concentration, I don't know. I should probably not be allowed to boss small groups around for awhile. I never seem to do anything good with them--I just do the obvious thing because I feel like everyone's waiting on me, and that rarely works well. But practice practice practice fucking practice. Damn it.

Love each other. Respect all life. And don't run with your spears. --Avatar.

Very good pointwork on Sat. Laertes asked me right after the last melee what I thought I did well, and I sourly replied that "Well, I went backward pretty good." He just kept at me until I confessed to managing my point pretty well and being able to let go of my frustration after about the first 10 minutes of melee (I'd had some trouble getting into the headspace and that was bugging me until I made a conscious effort to ground myself and concentrate, dammit! chill out and concentrate!), so that was good. Must remember the good. Never forget the funny. Have more fun. Eat your veggies. Et cetera.

Hope to post a little bit more about some other potentially very good developments later on in the month. Mum's the word for now! :)

Thanks for reading this, btw. I haven't gotten many comments, but I've gotten a lot of feedback off-LJ saying that people enjoy reading this, and I like attention! I'm glad you guys are enjoying my mental diarrhea as I try to keep my brain in sync with my body. And vice versa.