Thursday, March 31, 2011

A Widdle Personal Update

Finally! Finally! Finally the rain stopped! Halleluia! Praise the gods! Dance and sing in an emphatically non-rain-dancey way!

Yes, Sunday was the first time I got out to Darach practice in the last 3 weeks, because it was the first time Darach actually had practice in 3 weeks. I love love love having practice on the weekends, and I love love love having practice outdoors, but in the late winter/early spring it does make all practice plans pretty tentative--especially this year, when we've had a wetter, colder February and March than I've ever seen in Southern California. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some rain (reminds me of those foggy days in the Bay Area), but it does make fencing less likely.

I was a little tentative fencing on Sunday, because I'd spent a few hours at a pre-natal yoga class the day before (no, not for me--for a friend of mine whose husband couldn't make it). The class turned out to be about 50% individual yoga, which I'd never really done before (WiiFit aside), so I spent a lot of time with weight on both arms and/or my feet flexed. I was worried that after two days of exercise, my elbow and foot would be complaining loudly on Monday, but so far they both feel fine. I iced my foot Sunday night and took Advil before and after exercising on Sunday, and things seems to be holding up pretty well. We'll see how I feel after King's Hunt this weekend, where I'll hopefully get to fence at least a little bit two days in a row.


Drills and Such
Other than playtesting the new melee scenario (see followup post), I got to spend some one-on-one time drilling with Laertes, which was great. I really feel like I've been slowly (slooooooowly) improving over the winter, and doing the same drills I've been doing off-and-on for the last year or so is a good touchstone for me. It's nice to do a drill and think Okay, that's easier than it was three months ago, or Okay, I'm better at this part, now I need to focus on fixing this more advanced thing.

One thing Laertes observed, which I think is definitely true and led me into some more complicated musing, was that I'm much more confident when I'm fighting him. It's true--I'm more relaxed, more aggressive, and more self-assured. At the time, I said it was because we were just doing drills and I could expect him to throw one of three or four shots, so I got to turn the more watchful, anticipatory part of my brain off... but then he switched styles and it turned out that I maintained the attitude, even when we weren't drilling.

This is a behavior I've noticed with folks I'm used to fencing (folks I started fencing with in Isles, Laertes, friends from various fighting units I've practiced with, etc.) and it's sort of a good and a bad thing--I can relax enough to concentrate on fine-tuning my technique, which is cool, but it still only happens with people I'm fairly familiar and comfortable with, not all the time. I'd love to be able to bring that attitude to all of my fencing endeavors, not just practice with people I'm close to or have fenced with a lot.

I think that's one of those things that will come with time, although probably more time than I'd like. I do have a deep vein of self-consciousness that comes out when I'm fencing (most of the rest of the time, it's covered by a deluge of snark and one-liners). I guess I'm worried about being too easy a fight, about people who are watching forming bad opinions of me and my meager skillz, of looking like a doofus (more than usual). 

Oddly, that self-consciousness might contribute to my strong drive to be chivalrous and generally well-behaved on the field. I have a much higher opinion of people who are weaker fencers with unfailing courtesy than I do of people who win every tournament they enter and have every award their Kingdom has for rapier, who are unfailingly rude and dismissive--you know, the people who clearly think more highly of themselves and their "accomplishments" than they do anyone else, because they don't have to respect anyone who isn't exactly like them and doesn't meet their narrow and self-serving criteria of success. I'd rather be a shitty fencer who has a reputation for good times and good behavior on the field than the best fencer in the Society who has to have all the doorways in her house widened to get her head through, know what I mean?

Anyway, more of the same. Practice practice practice. Maybe I should just fence naked for a few months and get all the self-consciousness out of my system through over-exposure. :) 

4 comments:

  1. When I was fencing I had the same problem of not being able to bring my A game against people I didn't fence all the time.

    With me it was more an issue of trust rather than self-confidence, though. When fencing someone like Eoghan or Alexander (or Laertes or Lot), I trusted *their* skill to not step into attacks I couldn't pull fast enough, or to pull attacks of their own if I did something silly and was about to impale myself.

    So, I felt free to ramp up speed, aggression, and creativity with them, where I was much more hesitant when sparring with people with whom I didn't have that comfort level.

    Damn, I miss that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Darren--

    Yeah, part of me does worry about hitting too hard, but there's some other stuff wrapped up in there, too. Mostly I need to be able to turn my brain off while I'm fencing, and I'm not very good at that yet (hence the Zen in the ZARM).

    Come on back! Politics optional, acknowledging of asshats fun to do via snark. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, it's a bit more complex than I probably made it out to be, but still more about risk management for both me and my opponent than worrying about looking like a bozo in front of spectators (I take the latter as a given).

    I'd love to come back out to practice, and may start dropping by at least to visit as the weather gets better, but there's a couple practical limitations on returning to fencing that have nothing to do with asshats or politics:

    I spend Sunday afternoons with Alexei while Janice goes and plays with her horse, and an 18 month old child isn't a good secondary; he squirms too much.

    I've also put on 20-30 pounds since last time I held a rapier, and my fencing jacket doesn't fit and needs some repairs so I'm currently lacking a vital bit of kit unless/until I can get more in shape and find a tailor (I don't sew, and have *zero* desire to learn; another big factor in me not playing SCA any more).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Darren--

    It would be great to see you out at practice! I don't know how you're doing with the whole attachment/bonding thing with Alexei (although, if the pictures are any indicator, you're doing just fine... ;) ), but I think most of us would be willing to keep an eye on his tiny self while you did some passes... I know I would. :)

    Re: the garb thing--Nate actually had great success fighting in an oversized blue shirt with a fencing jacket underneath and a sash. Perfectly fencing-legal and, from a distance, Persian. :) You don't need a well-fitted/tight garment to look good on the field. Just food for thought.

    ReplyDelete