Altavia Anniversary 2011, garb plans, and an awesome present!

In a word? Muchbetterthanlastyear.

(Also, look! I've figured out how to use Blogger's jump break feature!)

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

I had a very good day. :) Here, have a song:

Bigger post later. Very sleepy now. 

King's Hunt 2011, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying (kind of) and Enjoy the Ride.

Not going to lie, folks. Despite the Zen I was cultivating during the week, I did not get a lot of sleep on Thursday night. We were due to leave immediately after work on Friday, and there was still some last-minute prep to do before and during packing, and then there was maggots (yes, you read that right), and at 12:45 AM I realized I'd forgotten a fairly major last minute bit of packing, which, once that was fixed, left me laying awake thinking about what else I might have forgotten and and and...

And everything turned out fine. Yep. No emergencies, no injuries, no temper tantrums, not even any uncomfortable calls or discussions.

Saturday
Saturday we ran Blood of Heroes, and it went great. It was very clean and fun to watch, with good behavior from everyone. I was a little nervous about the active marshaling that's often required in BoH (no one likes to get yelled at for apparently no reason, after all) but everyone was really receptive and willing to go with the flow. I cleared things up quickly with the folks who I thought might be confused by the calls I made, and everything seemed to go well. Overall, it was a really responsible and skilled group of people (and I had some very experienced and sensitive marshals working with me), so there was nothing to complain about at all. :)

After a break for lunch, the White Scarves took over to run a tournament for the unscarved fighters. This is something of an annual tradition in Caid--it's basically a tournament the White Scarves sponsor and choose not to participate in. This gives the other fighters an opportunity to showcase their skills, as well as giving the White Scarves a chance to compare and contrast fighters from different areas and track individual fighters' progress without having to worry about having to keep their own heads in the game, fighting-wise.

First of all, it was really hard to transition from the marshal brain to the fighting brain. It took me longer than usual to warm up and drag my brain from the marshaling vision (looking at everything and making judgment calls) to the fighting headspace (looking at nothing specific and reacting automatically). I hadn't expected that at all--hadn't given it any thought, to be honest, but in retrospect it seems like a pretty obvious thing to have to compensate for.

I was pretty pleased with how I fought during the Tourney. I had a nice warmup with Laertes and Don Alex Baird, which sort of helped get my head in gear. My first fight was against another lefty, and we double-killed the first time with identical shots to each other's ribs, which made us laugh. She ended up getting me the second time around.

My next fight was against someone I used to fight a lot in Isles, but who I hadn't fenced in awhile. She does great buckler work, and I really enjoyed our fight--I ended up making good use of the side-shot Laertes and I have been drilling and ended up taking her arm, giving up my offhand when she switched, and eventually taking her out. It was a really nice, clean fight. It helped that she was faster than I'd expected--it helped pull my head into the fighting space a little bit more and overall gave a really enjoyable fight. Afterward, Alex Baird congratulated me on maintaining control of the fight and gave me a small token of acknowledgment, which made me smile.

Fight numero three was against a fellow I hadn't ever fenced before. It was simultaneously the most satisfying and the most frustrating of my fights--I felt like my head was finally in gear, but he had a few inches of reach on me and some neat little three-beat attacks I had trouble countering effectively. He liked to start a low attack and swing it high, which I didn't have any trouble avoiding but defending myself against them left me unbalanced for a moment and kept me from taking advantage of the potential counterattacks when he was extended. I had trouble getting his tempo, which eventually ended up with me dead. :)

I think we must have double-killed the first time (my memory of the fight isn't clear), but I remember laying a nice soft cut down the top of his head and having to refight it. The second time around, I felt like my defense and footwork were both really solid up until the end, but I was fighting his fight, not mine. He ended up getting me with the last shot of a three-beat pass, but it was okay--I felt good about my performance overall and felt like I was pretty on, mentally, just not quite put together enough to work through his tactics. Que sera sera.

I marshaled pretty much the rest of the day (and, for the record, enjoyment of my performance aside, I'm ready to start making it past third round now! Kthx). I got to see some really pretty fights from up close, and I actually really enjoy the ritual of salutes, inquiries, and the eventual lay on before every fight. Tristan der English ended up taking the win, and other fighters were called up for various recognitions

For the record, marshaling is exhausting. By the end of the night, I was pretty much too tired to pay attention to what I was eating at the feast, and when a friend of mine handed me a wine bottle for a drink just as someone else dropped another bottle in the recycling bin nearby, I about jumped out of my skin because I was convinced I'd dropped the bottle and the noise I'd heard was it shattering by our feet. My friend pretty much peed herself laughing. I ended up going to bed about an hour after dinner and slept all through the night (despite the Wheel! Of! SCOOOOOTCH! going on outside in camp).

Sunday
Sunday mid-morning I drummed up the interested fighters and we walked down the hill to do some melees in the trees. We ended up having a fun and relaxing hour or two and made it successfully through the new melee scenario I came up with. Marshaling the melees turned out to be slightly more nerve-wracking than Blood of Heroes, because there were trees everywhere and it was hard to see everything that was going on, but I had a few talented and eager volunteers helping to marshal and MiT, so everything ran smoothly. I was a little nervous about the crappy ground (gopher holes everywhere!) and folks being a bit more tired than the day before, but we ended up having some really clean fighting and the only people who fell in the holes did so off the field, and it was great because I didn't have to do any paperwork no one was hurt.

Speaking of paperwork, I wrote down the names of everyone who MiT'd with me in my little notebook, so if I didn't get to sign their paperwork, I can later. Writing stuff down's my mnemonic--I won't remember who did what, otherwise. ;)

Overall, I was flattered and pleased by how many people came up and thanked me and told me they'd had fun. That's one of those gestures that really mean a lot, but is easy to forget to do when you're tired from fighting. I'll have to keep it in mind next time I'm fighting and someone else is running things, too.

I also had a lot of help this past weekend, both with mundane things like fielding questions and more complicated things, like marshaling all day and giving advice on judgment calls--there were a couple of people who marshaled above and beyond the call of reasonable time commitment, a couple of people who came out of the woodwork asking if I needed help, a few of what I've gratefully come to think of as "the usual" supportive and awesome people being awesome and supportive, and overall a great time with great folks. Thanks, everybody!

A Widdle Personal Update

Finally! Finally! Finally the rain stopped! Halleluia! Praise the gods! Dance and sing in an emphatically non-rain-dancey way!

Yes, Sunday was the first time I got out to Darach practice in the last 3 weeks, because it was the first time Darach actually had practice in 3 weeks. I love love love having practice on the weekends, and I love love love having practice outdoors, but in the late winter/early spring it does make all practice plans pretty tentative--especially this year, when we've had a wetter, colder February and March than I've ever seen in Southern California. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some rain (reminds me of those foggy days in the Bay Area), but it does make fencing less likely.

I was a little tentative fencing on Sunday, because I'd spent a few hours at a pre-natal yoga class the day before (no, not for me--for a friend of mine whose husband couldn't make it). The class turned out to be about 50% individual yoga, which I'd never really done before (WiiFit aside), so I spent a lot of time with weight on both arms and/or my feet flexed. I was worried that after two days of exercise, my elbow and foot would be complaining loudly on Monday, but so far they both feel fine. I iced my foot Sunday night and took Advil before and after exercising on Sunday, and things seems to be holding up pretty well. We'll see how I feel after King's Hunt this weekend, where I'll hopefully get to fence at least a little bit two days in a row.

Drills and Such

Other than playtesting the new melee scenario (see followup post), I got to spend some one-on-one time drilling with Laertes, which was great. I really feel like I've been slowly (slooooooowly) improving over the winter, and doing the same drills I've been doing off-and-on for the last year or so is a good touchstone for me. It's nice to do a drill and think Okay, that's easier than it was three months ago, or Okay, I'm better at this part, now I need to focus on fixing this more advanced thing.

One thing Laertes observed, which I think is definitely true and led me into some more complicated musing, was that I'm much more confident when I'm fighting him. It's true--I'm more relaxed, more aggressive, and more self-assured. At the time, I said it was because we were just doing drills and I could expect him to throw one of three or four shots, so I got to turn the more watchful, anticipatory part of my brain off... but then he switched styles and it turned out that I maintained the attitude, even when we weren't drilling.

This is a behavior I've noticed with folks I'm used to fencing (folks I started fencing with in Isles, Laertes, friends from various fighting units I've practiced with, etc.) and it's sort of a good and a bad thing--I can relax enough to concentrate on fine-tuning my technique, which is cool, but it still only happens with people I'm fairly familiar and comfortable with, not all the time. I'd love to be able to bring that attitude to all of my fencing endeavors, not just practice with people I'm close to or have fenced with a lot.

I think that's one of those things that will come with time, although probably more time than I'd like. I do have a deep vein of self-consciousness that comes out when I'm fencing (most of the rest of the time, it's covered by a deluge of snark and one-liners). I guess I'm worried about being too easy a fight, about people who are watching forming bad opinions of me and my meager skillz, of looking like a doofus (more than usual). 

Oddly, that self-consciousness might contribute to my strong drive to be chivalrous and generally well-behaved on the field. I have a much higher opinion of people who are weaker fencers with unfailing courtesy than I do of people who win every tournament they enter and have every award their Kingdom has for rapier, who are unfailingly rude and dismissive--you know, the people who clearly think more highly of themselves and their "accomplishments" than they do anyone else, because they don't have to respect anyone who isn't exactly like them and doesn't meet their narrow and self-serving criteria of success. I'd rather be a shitty fencer who has a reputation for good times and good behavior on the field than the best fencer in the Society who has to have all the doorways in her house widened to get her head through, know what I mean?

Anyway, more of the same. Practice practice practice. Maybe I should just fence naked for a few months and get all the self-consciousness out of my system through over-exposure. :) 

Great Western War, 2010

Whoo, mama! It's been awhile since I posted. This summer's been crazy. However, I hope to be back and a bit more regular now that the autumn is getting underway. My job's a bit more stable (which is both yaaaaay and aaaaaaargh), my boyfriend's finally got one, and we're adjusting to the joy of suddenly being a two-income apartmenthold... clearly we need to have some kids, because Lord knows them dishes ain't doin' themselves.

Moving right along.

What better way to ring ZARM back in than with a post about my very favorite war, Great Western War! Every year I have an absolute blast at Great Western (thanks in large part to the great site, camping with the boyfriend's household, and the fact that it always falls on or around my birthday weekend), and this year was no exception.

I have to say, I was looking forward to this particular war with some trepidation--it was our first time leaving our cat alone overnight since the Great Vet Trips of 2010, I'd had a couple of bad days due to some difficult work news, we could only manage to head up to the war on Saturday and Sunday because of work and a total absence of PTO in my full-time job (Ever. Any. At all.), and we had enough to do before we left that we wouldn't be able to leave for the site until after dark. I was not looking forward to the war by 4 PM on Friday afternoon.

And yet.

War. Oh war. Something about war just perks me right up. Maybe it's because of the people. Or the turning off of cell phones and disconnecting from the internet for a couple of days. Maybe it's because I love blood and violence. Who can say?

War kicked ass pretty much continuously from Friday night to Sunday night, and a big part of that was the fencing. So let's get to it:

Saturday

Saturday was the White Scarf tourney in the morning and melees in the castle in the afternoon. In the White Scarf tourney, which was held last year as well, a White Scarf sponsors two unscarved fighters and they tag team in and out between rounds throughout the tournament--sort of like Pokemon, but more fun to watch.

Warmups were a little something different--Laertes shoved me over to Don Alex Baird and rather than a static drill warmup, he just had us throw blows back and forth without stopping at about 75% speed, very gentle and easygoing. For a minute or two I felt like my brain was lagging behind my body, but I got one good touch in on his arm and suddenly everything clicked into place. It got me into the fencing headspace really quickly, and whether that's a testament to the warmup or my own increased ability decreasing my mental lag, I can't say. Whichever the case (or if both is the case), it worked great.

The WS tourney was lots of fun. I lost both my fights, but I had some really nice and fun opponents. I can't recall the second one right now (beyond getting one-shotted just as I started thinking--well done, sir!), but the first fight was with a very nice gentleman who seemed pretty evenly matched with me. We had a couple of nice passes and he ended up taking me out, but I felt really good about the fight--very grounded and confident, like I, as the good book says, owned my space on the pavement.

I also got to hang out with some peeps I sort-of know and would like to know better, Shannon (whose SCA name is something like a very feminine sounding Christian... probably has an E on the end or some damn thing) and her husband Thomas, and Gerrick's (more spelling issues) ladyfriend Maureen, who's just a huge sweetheart and lots of fun. I also got to schmooze a bit with some of the Westies I see annually at GWW or know through Facebook, which was great. Staffan and I stole back to his pavilion (scandal!) to discuss some manuals we'd talked about online and I've now ordered a copy of an out-of-print book on basic foil and epee fencing that apparently has a lot of period-oid crossover. When life calms down a bit more, I'm excited to get into it.

In the afternoon, there were melees in the heavies' haybale castle, which were just a total blast. We busted the spears out and for the first time I really thought they affected play on the field--previously I'd only been in line-battle type melees where the spears were used, and, while I thought they were fun, the only effect they had on me were that I had to watch three people down on my left and right on the lines, rather than one or two. Being able to shoot over the haybale walls with the spears and get up on the second tier of bales to parry them really added a layer of intensity and thought to the melees which can often get lost in doorway battles. There was no standing in the third or fourth rank, waiting for enough people in front of you to die for you to get your turn--you had to actively check the air over your head (well, I did anyway) and around the edges of the door for a spear. Lots of fun, especially when I perched up on a haybale on the edge of a door and sniped across the line for incoming hands.

Another really nice touch about Saturday was that the White Scarf Tourney last year was really one of the first tournies at which Laertes' and I had worked together, so we had lots of check ins during the day comparing how I'm fighting this year (okay!) to how I fought last year (friggin' awful). He and Gerrick (whose name I should know how to spell by now, but I don't) were both very positive and reassuring and specific about where and how I'd improved, and kept reminding me to take note of myself now versus last year. I really appreciate the encouragement and support they've both provided, and genuinely consider the good environment to be a huge part of why I've improved as much as I have over this past year. The learning environment really is ideal for me (lots of talking, lots of snark, lots of support, and high expectations with no pressure to win or be the best! or make the other kids cry! or any of that Cobra Kai bullshit), and has done a lot to boost my confidence. Thanks, guys!

Sunday

First thing on Sunday morning was the Valkyrie Rose Tourney, hosted by the Ladies of the Rose in honor of the late Duchess Sir Kolfinna. There's been a Rose tourney the last couple of years at war (methinks), but the last two have been a bit fraught with emotion for everyone--the one last year took place around the same time as the memorial service, which was hard for a lot of people, and the one this year was in her honor.

In my first fight, I drew Don Eogan (more on tourney format below), who caught my rhythm and one-shotted me very quickly. A bit frustrated, I retreated to the loser's pool and was perked up by a couple of good passes with a Western White Scarf whose name I failed to catch. He tried to take a blow I landed on the side of his neck, basically parking my edge on the bottom of his gorget with no pressure or pull whatsoever, but I said it wasn't any good and we should redo it. He was an utter gentleman and tried really hard to take the shot, but finally said it was up to me to determine whether it was good or not and I insisted we refight it. We had a couple exchanges at full speed (for me, probably rather slow for him!) and I ended up taking him out with a lucky shot on the mask. I was really pleased with that, and glad I'd gotten such a chivalrous and fun opponent. My next fight was with a young lady from the West who was equally polite and cheerful, and who took me out in fairly short order... she made it to quarterfinals, though, so I didn't feel too bad about it. :)

The fighting was great, but the tourney itself was a bit of an ordeal--not for any emotional reasons on my part, but because it was a speed tourney (two groups of fighters pair off and fight, then sort into two lists, the winners and losers lists, which continue to fight until there's a winner of each, pretty much non-stop) and it was out in the gorram sun near a small haybale room. It had been getting warmer all war, and I imagine the high on Sunday was somewhere in the 90s. There were a lot of fighters and a speed tourney was absolutely the best way to get through the list in less than an hour, but we were sweltering out there and the waterbearing table was totally understaffed, so there was no water within five hundred feet of the tourney field.

(Actually, I think the one water table in sight was intended for the heavies who were doing scenarios in the castle... right next door to the rapier field... with their crossbows a-firing, and may I just say, LEARN TO AIM, KIDS, because dodging crossbow bolts while trying to fight or marshal in the heat after a few rounds of speed tourney? Not a lot of fun. Suggestions to the marshals that scenarios involving projectiles be rescheduled for a few minutes or fought without archery didn't seem to be accepted, which hopefully had a good reason, because from where I was standing it was a bit annoying. Moving right along.)

I ended up going over to the heavies' water table and asking to steal six or eight bottles from them for the tourney. They were really nice and said it was no problem as long as they got all the bottles back, so I took a double armful and parked them all on one haybale. People were really good about returning them, and half an hour later I had all the empties to return to the waterbearers. Hopefully that helped everyone--I could tell the water crew felt bad about not being able to provide for everyone, but I think they were technically promised to the heavies field and there were only two of them. They appreciated us returning the bottles, and the fighters appreciated the extra hydration, so I think it worked out well for everyone.

Anyway, not much else to say about fencing at GWW. I didn't do Blood of Heroes or melees that afternoon (and a good thing, because we had to break down later that night and I ended up throwing my back out, so it would have been a pain to have to deal with that on top of being all exhaustified), but I heard everyone had lots of fun. I sure did. :)

Gyldenholt Anniversary, 2010

Fun fun fun at Gyldenholt!

This here's a big ol' post, so in the interest of easy reading, I've chunked it. It's a tech writer thing. Trust me, you'll like it.

Tourney Fights

My first tourney fight was with Don Lot. I have to confess to a moment of "Oh for God's sake" when that got called, because my two fights at Altavia Anny. were both against White Scarves, and we all know how that ended. :)

I actually thought my fight went pretty well up until the very end. I tried to put aside the knowledge that I wasn't going to be a challenging fight for him, and that by extension the whole fight was going to be an exercise in me trying new things and him letting me, which feels like an indulgence in a tourney setting, which, rather than encouraging, just defeats me in my head regardless of anyone else's intention or mindset. Oh, the headspace. Look at it go.

That reaction isn't about anyone else's demeanor or how I feel like I'm treated, on the field or off. It's all about me and my insecurities. I'm completely aware of this and, while it's a common reaction, I know it's a bad reaction, and no one is responsible for it but me. Just FYI. :)

I successfully put all that psychological crap aside for the first minute or two of the fight, while I was getting Lot's measure and gauging what it looked like he was going to do--it's hard to explain, but I can sort of tell what kind of fight my opponent is bringing in the first minute or so of a bout. It's not about guards or footwork or anything, it's about their speed, their aggression, probably a bunch of subconscious body language that I can read but not acknowledge consciously. Anyway, the first few passes and feints were spent gauging the fight a little bit.

I think my main problem was that the headspace started creeping up on me and I gave up too quickly. I threw a couple iffy shots and when they were parried, got in a bit too close and got killed. I didn't really believe in the final shot I threw which opened me up to get killed, and I came off the field disappointed that I hadn't tried harder. Shook it off, round two!

I won round two. It wasn't a pretty kill--I got a garbage shot in on the head that I barely felt as my opponent took my right leg. I did feel really good about my defense in the bout--I had a lot of nice sword parries and blocked a couple good two-hit combinations. I didn't love the killshot, but I felt really solid about my defense.

Round three took me out, and I know exactly why I died, so I was satisfied. I stepped out into the Angry Druids shot and forgot to use my offhand. I was ready to take the second step with my right foot, bringing my body off line and into the opponent's one-to-two o'clock space, and I could feel my right arm moving up to bring the dagger into place, but I got sniped in the throat before it could get there. If I had moved the dagger with the first step, I probably could have blocked it. Better luck next time.

Queen's Guard Challenges

Then we had the Queen's Guard challenges against the White Scarves and Gyldenholt Baronial Guard. They were a lot of fun, and I really felt like I fenced well.

The first fight was against the Baronial Guard, and it was great. I ended up being the last guard on the field and held off two Baronial guards, literally with my main hand behind my back. In part that last bit was because they were too polite to rush me two-on-one, but still, it looked impressive. :)

I was in the middle of the line at the beginning of that fight, which isn't great for me--I move around too much to fight productively in the middle of the line. When pinned in on both sides, I tend to go backwards, which is really bad when I'm fighting in a line! Fortunately, five Queen's Guards versus six Baronial Guards meant both lines fell apart fairly quickly and no one died because I took that step backwards. As our line dissolved and theirs pressed forward, I killed the person right in front of me, and then the person immediately to their left with a couple shots to the chest and collarbone. It was, in a word, awesome.

The two lines broke into one-on-one fights across the field, and as I was looking at a big tall guy thinking He could shoot my head right off my neck, Cecilia sniped my hand through my guard in a beautiful shot. I was shouting begrudging compliments at her as I switched hands and handed off my dagger, then booked it across the field to team up with Lorccan against Sigbjorn, Cecilia, and Yentz. Eventually it was me one handed me versus Yentz and Cecilia, which lead to my epic and heroic death, paeans to which will be sung through the annals of time by tender-footed virgins, glory glory, etc.

After that came the fight with the White Scarves. I died fast in that one, but I did get in a great shot that popped under a buckler and into a stomach. I even guarded my head properly with my dagger. Preen preen preen.

3DC 10th Anniversary Melees

I loved the melees. I thought they were original, had multiple possible roles for each fighter (killer, guard, pourer of whiskey, whatev) and the inclusion of props (like the table) made it unlikely that the scenarios would become boring line fights. There was little room in each scenario for twattery, given the expressed rules and objectives. Overall, a big win for Raz, who designed the scenarios. Good on ya, buddy!

My team was Don Colwyn and Avenel, who are both a lot of fun to fight with and against. We made finals, and got taken out by Roisin, Nathanial, and one other guy whose name I can't remember (Sorry, nameless dude!). Before that, I killed a couple people in the two-life res, and the first scenario. Fun fun fun.

Buckler Time with Avenel

After that, Avenel grabbed me and gave me some buckler schoolin'. I've felt like my buckler work hasn't been great in the last few months--I've been playing with dagger and baton so much, I tend to swat with anything you put in my right hand. When that thing's a 17" round wooden buckler, it's not effective. Either that, or I stick my hand straight out and just leave it there, not doing anything with it, and trust the surface area to protect me. BORING.

Avenel suggested I cross my right hand over my left and use the edge of the buckler to punch forward with every strike. I love this idea in principle, but certain aspects of female anatomy make getting as stark an angle as he does difficult for me. He literally sits his right hand over his left, the buckler angled over the hilt so the edge is almost parallel to the blade. I could manage the angle with his buckler (he has a dome in the middle of his and can close his hand all the way around the grip--my buckler is flat, so I can only get my fingers through the strap and flatten the buckler against the back of my hand, if necessary), but the hand and arm positioning was difficult given the placement of my guard. I could do the angle fine if my guard was about a foot higher, almost first and second. Not effective for general practice.

The idea of punching the edge of the buckler forward with the guard of my sword was really interesting. It ties in nicely with what Laertes' has been teaching me about using sword and offhand simultaneously in an attack. I could see the buckler-over-blade technique in particular working well in an Angry Druids scenario. Lots of valuable stuff to think about. I very much appreciated Avenel taking the time to walk me through the geometry and give me the suggestions--especially after he made the three-way finals in the tourney and probably had some other stuff to think about at the time. :)

Final Thoughts

Last week, I made it down to Altavia fighter practice. It was a lot of fun, and I think I'm going to try and go more regularly. The Isles practice has become really familiar for me, and I think I'd like to try fighting some new people. I also spend too much time hanging out there, and not enough fencing. In the interest of actually keeping my mind on the game, I think I'll be going to Altavia practice more and Isles practice less. It's a long drive, but it's feasible... we'll see what happens in the long run.

In other news, I'm starting to actually feel competitive. I was legitimately disappointed when my team didn't win the melees and wanted to fight in the tourney longer. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Will this help or harm my Zen? Only time will tell, I guess.

Potrero, 2010

ETA: This post has been a draft for awhile, but I just never got around to publishing it. :) Voila!

Potrero on the whole was a blast. There are some extraneous details on my LiveJournal, but here's the fencing part:

Saturday was a good day. Really, most days fighting melee are good days. I'm much happier attacking from the side than I am attacking from straight ahead, so any day I can snipe someone in the throat from their one or eleven o'clock is a good day for me.

I'm a lot better at head, chest, and neck shots from an angle than I am from straight ahead. In part it's because I know I don't have to watch my defense as much from the side, so I'm more comfortable being aggressive, and in part it's because I always worry about hitting too hard when I'm attacking from the front, because I tend to like to get in and out as fast as possible. This results in my jabbing my arm out without much force behind it, rather than going into a full, and fully controlled, lunge; ironically, this would protect me more if I did it correctly, and when I do, I tend not to die unless I do something amazingly stupid and lunge myself into someone's point. Like so many issues, it is, at its root, a confidence thing, not an ability thing.

Sunday was also good. I skipped the first melee in the interest of waking up slowly and fought for the rest of the day. I had given Saturday my all and Sunday was a lot harder, but I never felt like I was losing control, hitting too hard, or being unsafe in any of the standard "You are too tired to fence" ways.

It was hot. Getting back into Darach's marine layer of gentle humidity and 18-hour-a-day fog was a wonderful change.

For the record, I have to say, I love the Caid Rapier community. I feel a lot about the group the way I imagine some people must feel about their extended families. It's a wonderfully supportive, cheerful place to learn and try new things, and while (like an extended family) I may not like everyone individually, I like the vast majority, and I like the group. Thanks, all. :)

King's Hunt, 2010

Have refrained from ZARMing (that's what these posts have become in my head, ZARM posts) in the last few weeks because there hasn't been a lot of action at Isles practice (read also, I skipped Isles practice because it was finals week and spring break and figured there wouldn't be much going on there). I was having some trouble with the Angry Druids drill, but Laertes and I worked it out on Saturday at King's Hunt and I've got some more tools to improve.

King's Hunt left me with some additional drills which I will list here for no one's benefit but my own. :)

Angry Druids 2, now with more pointwork!
ZZ Top Lightening Bolt (parry drill)
Trapped in a Cone Box (narrow side)
Trapped in a Cone Box (long side)

This adds to the original drills:

Angry Druids
Figure-8 Cones (footwork drill)
Figure-8 Cones (footwork drill, backwards)
Arm and Wrist Strengthening (weights)

Fencing at King's Hunt was okay, pretty good, meh, and not great by turns. :)

On Friday night I sucked allllll over the field. I was stressed out about running the event, a little annoyed for reasons unrelated to this post, not concentrating or in the headspace at all, and had too much on my mind. I had fun, don't get me wrong, but I got killed like 3 times in the exact same way and eventually stopped before I was to disgusted with myself. :)

I asked Raphael how he killed me twice in the same place and he (to my eternal gratitude) was not at all condescending when he reminded me to move my offhand into a defensive position when I lunge. Doh. This was a good indicator that I was just plain not in the fencing headspace, and I'm glad I stopped while I was still serene enough to learn something from getting beaten so badly, rather than giving it another couple shots and getting really frustrated with myself.

Saturday was a bit better. I faced Cassandre and Edward (AKA Lord Pinky) in the Unscarved list and was out in two. That wasn't disappointing--they're both better and more experienced fencers than I am and I was neither one-shotted, nor tunnel-visioned, nor deer-in-the-headlighted at any point during the fights.

Cassandre said she'd waited for me to get a rhythm in my baton swings and sniped me in counter-time. What does this say to me? Well, better defense, so snipes don't connect, but also to fight more with single. The less I rely on my offhand, the more likely I am to be able to parry an unexpected attack, even if I have an established rhythm the opponent is trying to exploit. I think I just said the same thing twice. :)
As I've said before, one of the reasons I like to fight baton is that it makes me more confident and aggressive--and, unfortunately, one of the reasons it makes me more confident and aggressive is because it covers a lot of important flaws in my defense that simply can't be saved by dagger or buckler. Ergo, less baton, more single, and eventually more dagger. Fortunately, I have plenty of shiny new parry drills and a "Do not move ha ha" defense drill which should help with that.

Pinky even came up afterward and said I'd done much better than the last time we'd fought, which was a lovely unsolicited compliment that had me smiling and happy every time I thought about it. That, combined with the willingness of my opponents to tell me exactly how they had kicked my ass and how to make it more challenging for them next time, combined with some new tricks from the big L (and Don Alex B. as he watched us), made me feel very good about how the whole weekend turned out, fencing-wise. It was, as they say, a "learning experience," and not one of those nasty painful ones that culminates in a huge hangover.

On Saturday Laertes mentioned that this part (colloquially known as "the beginning") of the studentship can be extremely frustrating because people tend to learn a bunch of new stuff but not feel like they're improving. I have yet to reach that part of the experience--I'm still stoked to have the opportunity to learn more and do more, still stoked to be getting some tools which are geared to help me improve some of my specific weaknesses, and absolutely bomb-tastic thrilled to have been given this opportunity and the chance to exploit it in such a friendly, supportive community.

Crown Tourney, Spring 2010

Crown this weekend was really fun. It's always nice to camp for a weekend without having to pack the truck to bursting and drive 5+ hours--that's one of the (many, many) things I like about GWW, King's Hunt, and Crown (when we have it).

Anyway, I suppose I should talk about the elephant in the room...

On Sunday morning, Don Laertes officially accepted me as his student. We've been working on various fencing things at every event for the last 6 months or so (since Altavia Anniversary and Investiture and except for Estrella, which he didn’t go to), and I’m really excited to be working with him. It sounds silly, but it’s very flattering to feel like somebody is taking a personal interest in helping me improve something I care a lot about.

It was funny—as soon as he first mentioned the studenting thing to me as a possibility, Laertes stressed that becoming his student wasn’t an accomplishment per se, so much as it was an acknowledgement of the relationship we already had and a commitment to stick to it and continue to work together. So when he made his little speech Sunday morning, a bunch of people came up to me and started hugging me, shaking my hand, and congratulating me, and I was very surprised! Not that I mind all the praise and petting, of course—my ego loved it. :) I was just in the headspace that I was becoming someone’s student precisely because I have so much more to learn and so little experience, having people come up to me and congratulate me about it was completely unexpected.

It kind of threw some stuff into perspective for me. Possibly more on that later, we’ll see.

Anyway, right after that we went off and worked on some stuff. One of the first things he had me do was stand with him in the middle of the eric, in engagement range, and back up to within 3 feet of the eric ropes without looking at them. I stopped about 4 feet away, which was okay with me—I was worried I wouldn’t stop in time and would go over them! Then he had me do it with my eyes closed. Stopped about 3 feet away—good stuff!

Then he told me to stay at the edge of the eric, close my eyes, and advance to engagement range without looking at him. I did it, but I opened my eyes on the last step to make sure I wouldn’t impale him (never mind that he’s a grown up and could probably have moved out of the way in time…). Did it again. At that point I’d gone the same distance enough times that I didn’t feel like I was really feeling it anymore per se—I caught myself counting steps, so when I’d successfully completed the exercise I went back to the ropes and asked him to move back a bit so I wouldn’t be able to tell the distance from memory. He did, and I stopped exactly in engagement range. Maybe a little close, but dude.

Laertes said something along the lines of “see, your body already has really good judge of distance,” and I wanted to yell “Yeah, did you see that? Did you see me walk right there? I walked all OVER this eric! I’m a fucking NINJA!” And it’s true. I felt like a fucking ninja. Or possibly a tiger. Or a shark. Something really cool that can kill you really fast. Anyway. It was very exciting.

Then there were cones. And footwork drills. Footwork drills that had me going around the cones a lot. Then backwards. It’s sort of hard to describe, but I’ll be doing them tonight at fighter practice if anyone wants to watch or play. :)

Last but not least, I was presented with my very own inaugural 7 pound hand weight. At Great Western, Laertes taught me some wrist and arm strengthening exercises (I think he saw how much I was suffering because I hadn’t fenced in like a month before that), and suggested I do them with a small weight. When I saw him on Sunday he gave me a 7 pounder and told me that it was my goal.

I’m supposed to work up to being able to do 4 sets of 20 of each type of exercise (there are 5) with the 7 pound weight. Yesterday I decided my little 1-pounder was too boring and went to Big 5. After about 10 minutes of (probably very silly looking) waffling between the 2 and 3 pound weights, I went for a 3 pounder in a lovely shade of Kelly green. The 2 pounders just didn’t feel big enough to challenge me (and they were hot pink, which had absolutely nothing to do with my choice). I’ve been doing the exercises on the drive to work, and this morning I could do 1 warm-up with with 1 pounder and 3 sets with the 3 pounder before my arms got all warm and were like “No more!” I was very proud of myself.

Let’s see, this post has gotten significantly longer than I’d first imagined. I guess I’m just very excited to be taking some concrete steps in my fencing career. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to say in these posts than “Good pointwork today” from now on!

Oh, and thanks again for all the support, y’all. Either from the comments or the congratulations at Crown, it means a lot to me, and I really appreciate it. <3

Estrella War, 2010

I fenced much better at Estrella this year than last year. I even zippered a line with the help of the suave and dashing Marcos de la Cruz! I haven't done that since my first Estrella, when I was killing people left, right, and center because I was obviously shiny new and everyone ignored me. :)

Cue my brags: He and I were keeping a line with him anchoring a corner on my right. He said “You ready?” and I said “Yep!” and he took out the guy directly in front of me and turned that into a charge at the guy directly in front of him. That guy, who was anchoring the corner on his side, backed up a couple steps which gave me room to kill the guy on my left, then the guy after him, and the guy after him… I know it doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but I was very proud of myself and, more importantly, I remember the whole thing clearly and understand why it worked the way it did. No tunnel vision! Yay me!

I don't have much new to say about how I fenced at Estrella. I did pretty well avoiding the melee tunnel vision (meaning when I res'd I managed to find a tactically useful place to go fight, rather than just filing back into the meat grinder lines, which I've always found frustrating and exhausting). My point control was good--I took lots of arms and hands. I didn't get killed in lines because I wasn't paying attention to the right people (this was my big weakness last year, so I'm really glad to be able to say that). Except for one notable exception, I didn't get pissed off and, fortunately, wasn't hit too hard at all. It was nice.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the social aspect of rapier, which is part of what's kept this post from being written for so long.

My Estrella post:

First, and most importantly, I'm not perfect. I'm not a saint, and I'm certainly not a consistent model of exemplary conduct on the field. I don't want this to come off as a sermon, or a rant, or a diatribe... I just have strong opinions and feel the need to analyze them, and how do I do that best? By writing about it, of course!

In terms of fencing conduct, exceptions must be made for different Kingdoms. We all have our own rules, and, just as importantly, our own unspoken guidelines which most of us abide by but aren't written down anywhere. I'm not one of those people who goes around trash-talking every fencer from outKingdom (or from a certain specific Kingdom) because they applied their rules to our fight. I don't like getting hit too hard, just like everyone else, but getting hit too hard is not the same as getting hit with positive pressure. I don't like getting hit from the side without seeing it coming, but I don't get pissed off when it happens if the person who killed me is from a kingdom with different engagement rules than Caid's (180-degree engagement versus 120, etc.). As far as I know, no Kingdom's rules encourage hitting as hard as you can, hitting multiple times, or hitting from outside range. Those are the faults of the fencer, not the entire rapier community of a Kingdom.

Nobody's perfect. People make mistakes and other people get pissed off because of them. I tend to do both, occasionally at the same time.  I do my share of smack-talking and chest-thumping in camp, but I try to leave it off the field. I try really hard to control my temper on the field, not start any trash talk, and be generous in my stated opinions of people and how questionable scenarios played out. Sometimes I fail, but I try. We all have our weaknesses, and my big mouth is mine. I've known this for a long time, so I try to keep it under control on the field, even if I have to vent once I'm off (I'm a verbal processor, I have to talk to get my feelings in order and get them out).

(CONFESSION: I did get pissed off at one point at Estrella and called someone a jackass as I was walking back to res, but I said it very quietly to myself and made sure I was far enough away that he didn't hear me (Lot heard me, but Lot hears everything bad that I do. He's like the principal of rapier.). Dude had just blown off a kill to the chest after telling me "I've taken a lot harder," so either he felt it and decided not to take it or he didn't feel it, which is possible... I felt contact when I hit him, but accidents happen and I know it's easy to blow off a shot on the melee field. I like to think I still would have taken it had I been in his shoes, but I can't be sure. I still thought it was good. ANYWAY. That's neither here nor there--I was annoyed. By the time I got back to the res point, I was over it. Bottom line: It was the wrong way to handle it, it was immature, but I knew the person wasn't going to have a real discussion with me about it and I just needed to do something with my anger so I didn't bring it back onto the field with me. See? I'm not perfect. Moving on.)

All that being said, there are some standards of behavior which I apply to everyone, of every rank and experience level, from every kingdom. In my opinion, these standards must be met or at least worked towards for everyone to have a good time on the field. It's extremely disappointing to see people blow off shots, refuse to apologize or even acknowledge that they hit too hard, or start counter-accusing people who put them on the spot by calling out their bad behavior.

Worst of all is when you see someone who's got some clout in another Kingdom behaving like a high school quarterback in the locker room. I had to think about why it was such a big deal to me that people of rank conduct themselves better than the Average Joe, so let's talk this one through, shall we? In my opinion, if you've got rank, you've got even more responsibility than the average person to conduct yourself well around members of other Kingdoms, regardless of their rank. If you're a White Scarf, or a Knight crossing over to the fencing field, or a Laurel, or a King, you are a living, breathing representation of the populace of your Kingdom even more so than the average Joe Fencer.

So why do people with rank count more than the Average Joe? Because we're not actually a feudal society in the SCA, nor are we an (entirely) merit-based one. Certain awards can be given for sheer skill in one area, with less emphasis on service or conduct (Kingship and, I imagine, Laurelling--I don't know that many Laurels or that much about how they're made, so I'm a little hesitant to make that judgment), but even those awards carry the weight of expectation--as a Laurel, you're expected to distribute your time and skill among the people, educating them and encouraging their interests. As a King, you're making a commitment of 3-9 months, depending on the Kingdom, to serve your people as a visual and behavioral ideal--for six months, you become Arthur, and your Queen becomes Guinevere, and you have to handle all the positive and negative stereotypes encompassed in those roles. But by and large, in the SCA, you get where you get by being able to play nice with others as well as excelling at combat, art, or service. You rise because people believe you're worth it. As it says on the inside of the Caid crown, You Rule Because They Believe.

Now if you take your pointy hat or your pretty belt or your shiny scarf out on the field and act like an asshole, you're sending a very clear message that isn't just about you, but about every member of your Kingdom, as well. This person is acknowledged as exemplary in their skill or their martial art in their Kingdom, even though they're being a total dick on the field. Well, they're from [insert name of Kingdom here], not my Kingdom. I guess they do things differently there.

Subtext here being, I guess they don't care if a person's an asshole there. Or maybe, I guess they don't think s/he's an asshole there.

Then, of course, you look at a person like that, a person of rank who’s expected to return some service to their Kingdom taking students, and what else can you think? You’re seeing the perpetuation of some pretty awful behavior being encouraged and ingrained on the minds and conduct of people who will, one day, probably take their own turn leading the community. And yes, some of those students will probably grow up to be perfectly nice people (just like some of the students of perfectly nice people have grown up to be assholes), but the message is the same—people from this Kingdom want to be this guy’s students. Clearly, people in this Kingdom don’t think he’s an asshole.

These are very bad reactions to have. After the initial reaction, of course we all know that the actions of one person don't represent the opinions, conduct, or personality of their whole Kingdom. That being said, when you look at a person who's been awarded, praised, and touted up and down their Kingdom who consistently acts like a jerk on the field and doesn't do anything to change it, you start to think That Kingdom has different values than my Kingdom. Eventually, this becomes That Kingdom doesn’t care about chivalry/honor/ as much as my Kingdom.

So what do we do when we see a person like that, a person who is apparently so high up on their horse that they either can’t hear the admonitions of their peers, or don’t care? I don’t have any good solutions here, so I’m looking for suggestions.

It seems like time doesn’t change a person who blows off shots, a person who hits too hard and laughs about it, a person who yells at the person they’ve just injured, a person who cheats. Do we need more aggressive marshalling? If we had it, would this solve the problem if the offenders had rank? (Personally, I think more aggressive marshalling would drive me crazy, especially on the war field where it seems like every time a marshal has a conversation of more than ten words with someone we have to call a hold, but it’s an option. It might even help cool tempers a little, I don’t know). Do we need someone to just yell at these guys until they get it? I’ve seen that happen, or start to happen, and it doesn’t seem to work.

I’ve found that the only way I can deal with these guys and still respect other members of the fencing community from their Kingdoms is by pretending they don’t have the rank that they do—after all, if they rule because I believe, or if our awards are really just symbols of inner quality, if I don’t see the quality, why should I acknowledge the award? And this is a terrible perspective to have! So how else can I acknowledge my anger, do something with it rather than choking it down, and not feel like I’ve bowed my head to someone who doesn’t deserve it?

How do you get an asshole to respect you as much as he respects himself?

Okay, two pages later I think I’ve about exhausted that topic… for now. ;)

Thoughts? Comments? Feedback? Flames? Lay it on me!