Preflections on GWW 2011

Hey, see what I did up there? It's like "reflections," but from before? Before the war? ...oh, never mind.

So Dylan and I trucked on down to Altavia practice last night for some last-minute fencing before the war. I didn't get out to Darach practice on Sunday, because I was sewing ALL THE THINGS!, but Laertes and I had already planned on meeting up at Altavia.

We spent some time working on the headspace thing, and how I mentally treat practices one way, and tournies another. It's funny, it's kind of hard to take myself seriously writing about this, because it seems like such a silly thing to be hung up on, but there it is! I think I'm struggling with the fact that tournies are more definitive than practices. If you lose, you lose, and there are no do-overs or "Hey, try that again so I can figure out how to parry it!"s. They're not learning-oriented, they're results-oriented, which by it's very nature is a more stressful environment for me. Throw in a bunch of people watching and, well, I'm not aware of feeling self-conscious, but I probably do anyway.

Anyway, other than that, I'm feeling pretty good about my fencing game right now. Am I feeling skilled? Not particularly. But I'm feeling good. I'm digging my reaction time, the drilled-in instinct of parrying and throwing near-simultaneously, the integration of both hands and my feet, my sense of measure and tempo (now I just need to start working on either not throwing shots I don't have time to complete or throwing shots faster. Right now I'm throwing them, realizing they're a bad idea, and bailing on the shot halfway through. Thank God for parries.) Obviously, not all of these things are on at the same time, or consistently working at the caliber at which I'd like to perform, but looking back over the last two years or so, I know I've improved quite a bit. Progress isn't a small thing.

So Great Western War is upon us (and somehow I still have days and days of sewing to do... how does that happen?), and I'm pretty stoked. We'll be arriving Thursday, barring major developments, and leaving Monday--this gives me the opportunity to watch, if not participate in, all the fencing that happens at war! Woohoo! Things I'm particularly excited about include (in order of appearance):

• Running the rapier on Saturday with a lovely lady from Angels while the actual rapier steward observes Yom Kippur. I've never run rapier on such a big scale before, and never for an inter-Kingdom event, so while I'm nervous about how smoothly it'll go, I'm sure I'll learn a lot. Hopefully everyone's patient with us and no one acts like an asshat.
• The White Scarf Tourney on Saturday. I met a couple of really nice people at last year's WST (it got really good turnout from the West Kingdom's period-oriented fencers, and the ones I've met, I've really liked), and the tourney itself has sentimental value to me.
• The Ladies of the Rose Tourney on Sunday morning. Pageantry, pretty ladies, and a bunch of great fencing. What more can you ask for? I'll just remember to bring water to the field this year--last year the water bearers catered exclusively to the heavies fighters the next field over. :P

Hope to see you at war!

Of Angels Anniversary and Primary Secondaries and Secondary Secondaries, and Maybe Even Tertiary Secondaries (and now I'm just being ridiculous)

So yesterday was Angels Anniversary and it was a pretty darn good time. For those of you playing along at home, the Barony of the Angels is (unsurprisingly) most of the modern-day county of Los Angeles, so it's a well populated area and its events usually have pretty good turnout.

Angels is a great midpoint for me and Dylan (coming from Darach to the Northwest) to meet up with a lot of our friends from Lyondemere, Altavia, Angels, Gyldenholt, and Calafia. It was great to see some new faces yesterday on the rapier field as well. The Angels fighters are also sporting very spiffy new tabards.

The tourney format was a Swiss five, which is definitely growing on me--I enjoy getting to fight a lot and having a decreased focus on "I have to win my next fight or I'm out of the tourney" or "If I beat this guy, he's out, which leaves her and her and him and him and him to beat, which means at least five rounds, so I'd better conserve my energy, oh wait, I just drew that guy for this next round, so..." I enjoy the forced breaks in routine that come from having to choose different offhands in each round, and I enjoy getting to fight through a whole tournament up to semi-finals.

That being said, I didn't fight too terribly well yesterday. I had trouble with my dagger and buckler fights, but I did okay with case, cloak, and baton, which was surprising. Having trouble with my old standards seems to have become my new standard in tournies--I've been having trouble concentrating on my fights, as referenced in my last post, and I think mixing it up with some new offhands was good for me. It seemed to ground me and keep me concentrating--with case and baton I got my opponents' blades off-line and managed to get a throat shot (case) and a stomach shot (baton, while we were both on the ground). My cloak fight was fun--I don't remember much of it, but I remember enjoying it. :)

Fast forward to practice this morning, where I worked a lot on cloak with Don Alex K. Between Anniversary yesterday and practice today, something clicked--I was cloakin' it up big time.

It took some minor adjustments ("Sorry! Parried my own sword again!") but the cloak made my parries and the connection between my swordhand and my offhand-hand much more fluid and functional. I'd still been having some trouble with some of the more interesting dagger parries (ie, anything that doesn't make the dagger look like a windshield wiper), but I found myself doing a lot more complicated and bold parries with the cloak for reasons I can't really explain yet.

Anyway, it was a useful bit of data--maybe my problem with my primary secondaries (ahahahahahaha SEE WHAT I DID THERE) is that I fight with them too much. Maybe they're just getting stale.

I'm not sure how much merit is in that line of thinking, because I know there are still hangups in there I need to work through. Switching to a different offhand for a spell isn't going to improve my dagger parries if all they need is more practice. If I'm having a mental block brought on by some fundamental incorrect assumptions about the offhand itself, however, mixing it up with something new might be just the thing. We'll see.

It's Official.

So I have one of these little IsoFlex stress balls at my desk at work. I picked it up today to do my usual round of squeezing, and realized the outside cover is splitting. I'm wearing holes all over the ball, which split open and tear further as I squeeze.

It's official.

I have become the Hulk.

A Widdle Personal Update

Finally! Finally! Finally the rain stopped! Halleluia! Praise the gods! Dance and sing in an emphatically non-rain-dancey way!

Yes, Sunday was the first time I got out to Darach practice in the last 3 weeks, because it was the first time Darach actually had practice in 3 weeks. I love love love having practice on the weekends, and I love love love having practice outdoors, but in the late winter/early spring it does make all practice plans pretty tentative--especially this year, when we've had a wetter, colder February and March than I've ever seen in Southern California. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some rain (reminds me of those foggy days in the Bay Area), but it does make fencing less likely.

I was a little tentative fencing on Sunday, because I'd spent a few hours at a pre-natal yoga class the day before (no, not for me--for a friend of mine whose husband couldn't make it). The class turned out to be about 50% individual yoga, which I'd never really done before (WiiFit aside), so I spent a lot of time with weight on both arms and/or my feet flexed. I was worried that after two days of exercise, my elbow and foot would be complaining loudly on Monday, but so far they both feel fine. I iced my foot Sunday night and took Advil before and after exercising on Sunday, and things seems to be holding up pretty well. We'll see how I feel after King's Hunt this weekend, where I'll hopefully get to fence at least a little bit two days in a row.

Drills and Such

Other than playtesting the new melee scenario (see followup post), I got to spend some one-on-one time drilling with Laertes, which was great. I really feel like I've been slowly (slooooooowly) improving over the winter, and doing the same drills I've been doing off-and-on for the last year or so is a good touchstone for me. It's nice to do a drill and think Okay, that's easier than it was three months ago, or Okay, I'm better at this part, now I need to focus on fixing this more advanced thing.

One thing Laertes observed, which I think is definitely true and led me into some more complicated musing, was that I'm much more confident when I'm fighting him. It's true--I'm more relaxed, more aggressive, and more self-assured. At the time, I said it was because we were just doing drills and I could expect him to throw one of three or four shots, so I got to turn the more watchful, anticipatory part of my brain off... but then he switched styles and it turned out that I maintained the attitude, even when we weren't drilling.

This is a behavior I've noticed with folks I'm used to fencing (folks I started fencing with in Isles, Laertes, friends from various fighting units I've practiced with, etc.) and it's sort of a good and a bad thing--I can relax enough to concentrate on fine-tuning my technique, which is cool, but it still only happens with people I'm fairly familiar and comfortable with, not all the time. I'd love to be able to bring that attitude to all of my fencing endeavors, not just practice with people I'm close to or have fenced with a lot.

I think that's one of those things that will come with time, although probably more time than I'd like. I do have a deep vein of self-consciousness that comes out when I'm fencing (most of the rest of the time, it's covered by a deluge of snark and one-liners). I guess I'm worried about being too easy a fight, about people who are watching forming bad opinions of me and my meager skillz, of looking like a doofus (more than usual). 

Oddly, that self-consciousness might contribute to my strong drive to be chivalrous and generally well-behaved on the field. I have a much higher opinion of people who are weaker fencers with unfailing courtesy than I do of people who win every tournament they enter and have every award their Kingdom has for rapier, who are unfailingly rude and dismissive--you know, the people who clearly think more highly of themselves and their "accomplishments" than they do anyone else, because they don't have to respect anyone who isn't exactly like them and doesn't meet their narrow and self-serving criteria of success. I'd rather be a shitty fencer who has a reputation for good times and good behavior on the field than the best fencer in the Society who has to have all the doorways in her house widened to get her head through, know what I mean?

Anyway, more of the same. Practice practice practice. Maybe I should just fence naked for a few months and get all the self-consciousness out of my system through over-exposure. :) 

Great Western War, 2010

Whoo, mama! It's been awhile since I posted. This summer's been crazy. However, I hope to be back and a bit more regular now that the autumn is getting underway. My job's a bit more stable (which is both yaaaaay and aaaaaaargh), my boyfriend's finally got one, and we're adjusting to the joy of suddenly being a two-income apartmenthold... clearly we need to have some kids, because Lord knows them dishes ain't doin' themselves.

Moving right along.

What better way to ring ZARM back in than with a post about my very favorite war, Great Western War! Every year I have an absolute blast at Great Western (thanks in large part to the great site, camping with the boyfriend's household, and the fact that it always falls on or around my birthday weekend), and this year was no exception.

I have to say, I was looking forward to this particular war with some trepidation--it was our first time leaving our cat alone overnight since the Great Vet Trips of 2010, I'd had a couple of bad days due to some difficult work news, we could only manage to head up to the war on Saturday and Sunday because of work and a total absence of PTO in my full-time job (Ever. Any. At all.), and we had enough to do before we left that we wouldn't be able to leave for the site until after dark. I was not looking forward to the war by 4 PM on Friday afternoon.

And yet.

War. Oh war. Something about war just perks me right up. Maybe it's because of the people. Or the turning off of cell phones and disconnecting from the internet for a couple of days. Maybe it's because I love blood and violence. Who can say?

War kicked ass pretty much continuously from Friday night to Sunday night, and a big part of that was the fencing. So let's get to it:

Saturday

Saturday was the White Scarf tourney in the morning and melees in the castle in the afternoon. In the White Scarf tourney, which was held last year as well, a White Scarf sponsors two unscarved fighters and they tag team in and out between rounds throughout the tournament--sort of like Pokemon, but more fun to watch.

Warmups were a little something different--Laertes shoved me over to Don Alex Baird and rather than a static drill warmup, he just had us throw blows back and forth without stopping at about 75% speed, very gentle and easygoing. For a minute or two I felt like my brain was lagging behind my body, but I got one good touch in on his arm and suddenly everything clicked into place. It got me into the fencing headspace really quickly, and whether that's a testament to the warmup or my own increased ability decreasing my mental lag, I can't say. Whichever the case (or if both is the case), it worked great.

The WS tourney was lots of fun. I lost both my fights, but I had some really nice and fun opponents. I can't recall the second one right now (beyond getting one-shotted just as I started thinking--well done, sir!), but the first fight was with a very nice gentleman who seemed pretty evenly matched with me. We had a couple of nice passes and he ended up taking me out, but I felt really good about the fight--very grounded and confident, like I, as the good book says, owned my space on the pavement.

I also got to hang out with some peeps I sort-of know and would like to know better, Shannon (whose SCA name is something like a very feminine sounding Christian... probably has an E on the end or some damn thing) and her husband Thomas, and Gerrick's (more spelling issues) ladyfriend Maureen, who's just a huge sweetheart and lots of fun. I also got to schmooze a bit with some of the Westies I see annually at GWW or know through Facebook, which was great. Staffan and I stole back to his pavilion (scandal!) to discuss some manuals we'd talked about online and I've now ordered a copy of an out-of-print book on basic foil and epee fencing that apparently has a lot of period-oid crossover. When life calms down a bit more, I'm excited to get into it.

In the afternoon, there were melees in the heavies' haybale castle, which were just a total blast. We busted the spears out and for the first time I really thought they affected play on the field--previously I'd only been in line-battle type melees where the spears were used, and, while I thought they were fun, the only effect they had on me were that I had to watch three people down on my left and right on the lines, rather than one or two. Being able to shoot over the haybale walls with the spears and get up on the second tier of bales to parry them really added a layer of intensity and thought to the melees which can often get lost in doorway battles. There was no standing in the third or fourth rank, waiting for enough people in front of you to die for you to get your turn--you had to actively check the air over your head (well, I did anyway) and around the edges of the door for a spear. Lots of fun, especially when I perched up on a haybale on the edge of a door and sniped across the line for incoming hands.

Another really nice touch about Saturday was that the White Scarf Tourney last year was really one of the first tournies at which Laertes' and I had worked together, so we had lots of check ins during the day comparing how I'm fighting this year (okay!) to how I fought last year (friggin' awful). He and Gerrick (whose name I should know how to spell by now, but I don't) were both very positive and reassuring and specific about where and how I'd improved, and kept reminding me to take note of myself now versus last year. I really appreciate the encouragement and support they've both provided, and genuinely consider the good environment to be a huge part of why I've improved as much as I have over this past year. The learning environment really is ideal for me (lots of talking, lots of snark, lots of support, and high expectations with no pressure to win or be the best! or make the other kids cry! or any of that Cobra Kai bullshit), and has done a lot to boost my confidence. Thanks, guys!

Sunday

First thing on Sunday morning was the Valkyrie Rose Tourney, hosted by the Ladies of the Rose in honor of the late Duchess Sir Kolfinna. There's been a Rose tourney the last couple of years at war (methinks), but the last two have been a bit fraught with emotion for everyone--the one last year took place around the same time as the memorial service, which was hard for a lot of people, and the one this year was in her honor.

In my first fight, I drew Don Eogan (more on tourney format below), who caught my rhythm and one-shotted me very quickly. A bit frustrated, I retreated to the loser's pool and was perked up by a couple of good passes with a Western White Scarf whose name I failed to catch. He tried to take a blow I landed on the side of his neck, basically parking my edge on the bottom of his gorget with no pressure or pull whatsoever, but I said it wasn't any good and we should redo it. He was an utter gentleman and tried really hard to take the shot, but finally said it was up to me to determine whether it was good or not and I insisted we refight it. We had a couple exchanges at full speed (for me, probably rather slow for him!) and I ended up taking him out with a lucky shot on the mask. I was really pleased with that, and glad I'd gotten such a chivalrous and fun opponent. My next fight was with a young lady from the West who was equally polite and cheerful, and who took me out in fairly short order... she made it to quarterfinals, though, so I didn't feel too bad about it. :)

The fighting was great, but the tourney itself was a bit of an ordeal--not for any emotional reasons on my part, but because it was a speed tourney (two groups of fighters pair off and fight, then sort into two lists, the winners and losers lists, which continue to fight until there's a winner of each, pretty much non-stop) and it was out in the gorram sun near a small haybale room. It had been getting warmer all war, and I imagine the high on Sunday was somewhere in the 90s. There were a lot of fighters and a speed tourney was absolutely the best way to get through the list in less than an hour, but we were sweltering out there and the waterbearing table was totally understaffed, so there was no water within five hundred feet of the tourney field.

(Actually, I think the one water table in sight was intended for the heavies who were doing scenarios in the castle... right next door to the rapier field... with their crossbows a-firing, and may I just say, LEARN TO AIM, KIDS, because dodging crossbow bolts while trying to fight or marshal in the heat after a few rounds of speed tourney? Not a lot of fun. Suggestions to the marshals that scenarios involving projectiles be rescheduled for a few minutes or fought without archery didn't seem to be accepted, which hopefully had a good reason, because from where I was standing it was a bit annoying. Moving right along.)

I ended up going over to the heavies' water table and asking to steal six or eight bottles from them for the tourney. They were really nice and said it was no problem as long as they got all the bottles back, so I took a double armful and parked them all on one haybale. People were really good about returning them, and half an hour later I had all the empties to return to the waterbearers. Hopefully that helped everyone--I could tell the water crew felt bad about not being able to provide for everyone, but I think they were technically promised to the heavies field and there were only two of them. They appreciated us returning the bottles, and the fighters appreciated the extra hydration, so I think it worked out well for everyone.

Anyway, not much else to say about fencing at GWW. I didn't do Blood of Heroes or melees that afternoon (and a good thing, because we had to break down later that night and I ended up throwing my back out, so it would have been a pain to have to deal with that on top of being all exhaustified), but I heard everyone had lots of fun. I sure did. :)

Back on the Horse; Notes on Fencing To and From the Ground.

Phew! It's been awhile!

I've had a busy few months, faithful ZARMers, culminating in a week of suck, a week of awesome!, and now another couple weeks of suck which seem to be receding. Forecast of slightly snarky, chance of showers up to Great Western War.

That's right, kids, it's that time again--time for Great Western War! Until today, I've only been looking towards the war as another Thing I Have To Do (not that I have to do it, but we already paid for it and it's one of those tricky things I know I'd want to do if I wasn't so bogged down with stuff). As of now, we're going, we're camping, and we'll be there Friday night and leave Sunday afternoonish. It's possible we'll have to bail early--among the pail of o nuuuuuuuuuu! the universe dumped on us this month was a heart problem with our two-year-old kitty, which has been hugely stressful, heartbreaking, and expensive. "Chance of showers" has pretty much summed up my entire emotional state for the last two weeks, and I'm just now catching my breath.

Anyway, one of the things I am looking forward to about the war is getting to fence my squirrely little heart out. I haven't been giving fencing as much love as it needs this summer, and it's showing in my game, but I'm still stoked to get out there and shake my groove thang for a couple days. I really want to give fencing more time in my schedule... I just need to figure out how to make said time! :)

The substance of this post is supposed to be all about fighting on the ground. Last Saturday at Caid Rapier Open, Laertes noticed I was having some issues fighting both against someone who's on the ground and when grounded myself, and that's some of what we worked on on Monday night at Altavia practice.

Basically, my problem is that I revert to some basic no-nos of fencing technique when I'm on the ground that I totally know better than to do when standing. For example, I tend to present a flat surface to my opponent by facing them head-on (in as much as my torso ever gets flat... bow chicka wow wow!). This could be solved by fencing like I'm standing up, which is to say with my right shoulder behind my left and offhand held farther forward and a bit higher than I'm usually accustomed. It's a fine line between protecting my head and protecting my stomach, but it's mostly a psychological line--anyone attacking me while I'm sitting down is going to have a substantially easier time hitting my head and chest than my stomach.

Problem number two, obviously, is the position of my offhand. It needs to be higher. Better. Stronger. Cheaper. Well, higher anyway. I have a natural aversion to raising it too high because it uses some underdeveloped muscles and tires my arm out more quickly (gosh, I wonder how I could fix that problem). It also feels safer to keep it low, because my parry up (ie, raising the blade of the dagger from a nine-o'clock to a twelve-o'clock position and returning it to nine) is much faster than my parry down (dropping the blade from nine to six and raising it back up). The parry down is also less controlled and uses more of my arm, so I hesitate to use it any more than I have to. More things to work on. Or, as Laertes said so very succinctly, "PARRY DRILLS."

Fighting a legged fighter from a standing position will take a similar attitude adjustment. I have a pretty good foot void that keeps my forward leg from getting taken most of the time, but I still tend to stand facing the legged opponent most of the time anyway. My main strategy fighting a legged person is to take crappy little potshots in the hope of getting a good hit on the hand, arm, or head, which doesn't really work for me too well. For some reason, fighting like I was fighting a, you know, standing fighter, hadn't occurred to me. You know, all that basic stuff about engagement? Line closing? Constraint? Dagger use? All that? Yeah, no, none of that. Potshots, though. Heeeeeey.

There's nothing really ground-breaking in this post, discovery-wise, just little bits of technique I feel like it's worth commemorating (in part because I feel silly for not realizing them before).

Triumph! Or, how I made friends with my brachioradialis.

A Day in the Life of the Elbow

When last we left our intrepid (insipid?) blogger, Enid was mourning the death of her left arm.

Well, boys and girls, Enid learned a new word this month:

Brachioradialis.

It all goes like this:

After the last post, I got a lot of commentary and feedback (usually in person, rather than in type, which is why it isn't too crowded down there in the archives) from other fencers. Fencers I respect, fencers with years more experience than I have, fencers who I want to be like when I grow up. Almost universally, their response was "Take time off now, before it gets any worse." So I put my feelings on the matter aside, carefully considered their advice, inserted my fingers into my ears, and went LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

But I did everything else they told me to do. :) Namely, I went out and got a pressure-point brace, started an anti-inflammatory regimen, made sure to ice it every night, and had it massaged twice a day by kindly Tibetan monks. Well, not really with the monks. But that would have been awesome. And let me tell ya, I wore that brace every damn day. I wore it driving, wore it when while I cooked, wore it playing video games, wore it sewing, and wore it at work (especially when typing. Talk about tendon isolation, wow. Typing was a pain in the butt. Well, arm. You know what I mean). The only times I didn't wear it was when I was in bed or when I'd been wearing it long enough that it started to chafe.

I also picked up some fish oil supplements and have been taking them 1-2 times per day, but that's more incidental--they're supposed to help with your joints and other things longer-term, and I'd been meaning to start on that for awhile, so it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

The esteemed and extremely spiffy Cap'n Lot also took me out in his backyard and schooled me... in how to hold my sword more effectively. He worked with me for about an hour? ish? on getting the sword better balanced in my hand, and maintaining a more correct grip and balance through the lunge, so I'm gripping it less tightly and letting the weight of the sword counterbalance properly in my hand. It's interesting to note that it was much easier to do a "proper" Italian lunge (first the arm, then the body, then the foot at the very end... when do you move your head, anyway? with the body?) with the "proper" grip on the sword, but other than noticing the improvement, I'm not really well-educated enough to observe much about that.

I was a little apprehensive about working with the arm when I planned on going to Altavia practice two days later (fencing two days in a row is what first made it start hurting), but when I was holding it right it didn't hurt at all. It actually relieved some of the pain in my arm by using different muscles, which forced the tight ones to relax so the others could contract. It was great.

Even better was the fact that it didn't hurt any worse at all the next day, and had even improved. I'd been noticing incremental improvements over the course of the week, usually first thing in the morning, with increasing soreness as I used the left arm during the day, so I expected to feel sore again on Sunday, or at least the same level of pain and weakness, but it had actually improved. It was very encouraging. I'll have to keep working on holding my sword the way he said to, because it was very comfortable, but very different from what I'm used to, and as I concentrated on lunging properly, I found myself sliding back into my old grip.

The trend continued at Lyondemere Anniversary last weekend, where by the end of the day my entire arm was exhausted, but the elbow wasn't making a peep. I pretty much danced and sang.

I woke up Sunday morning really sore, but in a bunch of new places and no old ones. My shoulder ached a little, my left lat was sore, and my bicep and tricep were both sore, but my elbow felt good. It ached a little bit, and felt warm like it had been working hard, but it didn't have that persistent, stinging throb that it's had in the last few weeks. It was really nice. It had felt good the week before, but the fact that I could go out and fence all day and have minimal side effects the next day was really reassuring.

I feel like I'm doing the right stuff to take care of it, and that's excellent news. Now the trick will be remembering to continue taking care of it as it keeps feeling better. I think I might keep wearing the brace at work, because typing really does isolate the poor bugger.

Fun at Lyondemere and New Drills

In other news, Lyondemere Anniversary was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with good folks (and adorable babies) and fence some new folks (and adorable babies) and generally have a lovely day (also, there were babies. They were pretty cute).

Laertes and I got to hang a bit, which was good. He gave me a new parry drill because I'm still having trouble synchronizing my right and left hands. I can parry fine with the sword or with the dagger, and I can attack fine with the sword, but I can hardly parry with the dagger and attack with the sword simultaneously. Well, correction--I can do it great when I think about it, but that kind of defeats the purpose. I need to get the counterattack into an instinctive, fluid motion, and specifically one This drill starts nice and slow, then gets progressively faster as it gets more comfortable. The drill is a shot to the hip, shortly followed by a low parry, then a shot to the shoulder and a high parry. The idea is that your opponent is doing the same thing in mirror, so when you attack them, they're parrying, and as they attack you parry.

I definitely need to concentrate on doing the first few rounds of this drill slowly, getting my parries locked without overcommitting them and really working on lunging with a good turn of the hip for distance, not snapping the arm out to full extension (that way lies tendon strain).

I'm having a different issue with the sword parry--I tend to take my point dramatically off-line while I'm parrying because I'm parrying with my whole arm, rather than just by adjusting the angle of my elbow and shoulder. Rather than lifting or dropping my hand, I swipe with the whole arm from one side to another, which is effective, but slow, and only works defensively. I can't counterattack effectively when my guard is off to the side, and if my opponent is fast enough to counter my parry, I'm pretty much hosed.

So in comes drill number two, some basic parries with my point resting lightly on something. I'm a little worried that I'll end up really resting the point on whatever it is (a tree, a wall, a kitten, whatever) and defeat the purpose of the drill, but I'll give it my best shot. I think if I do this one before my arm gets tired and with good concentration, I'll be okay.

Both of these drills are designed to be done with someone else, but I think I can do them at home. That inside wall of my patio is looking awfully inviting. Not to mention I have this boyfriend...

Altavia Anniversary, 05/22/10

Oof.

Altavia Anniversary was lots of fun, but oh MAN, did I suck on the rapier front. It was confusing, it was annoying, it was frustrating, and it was discouraging. By the end of the day, I was so frustrated, I didn't want to fight anymore. I pretty much just wanted to dig a hole and sit in it for awhile. In short, I was sulking.

When I was in high school, I did a lot of performing. I sang in two choirs, did every school play, and the yearly musical. When I first started performing, I would spend most of my on-stage time making sure I was saying the right lines, doing the right dance steps, staying in tune, harmonizing correctly, and, when I remembered, being nervous. As the years passed, the stage fright and self-analysis faded, and it got to the point where I didn't even think anymore, I just did. The really good performances, I couldn't even remember once I got off stage. It wasn't that I was performing by rote or that I was bored--I became a vehicle for my technique.

I'm not at that point in my fencing game. I'm still in the first blush of learning new stuff, where a lot of my time on the field is preoccupied with thinking. I think about what I'm going to do, I think about my calibration and measure, I think about the person I'm fighting, I think about speed, I think about everything. This isn't necessarily at bad thing at the moment--as long as I'm not preoccupied with negative brain stuff, like nervousness or self-consciousness, it's okay. I'm supposed to be analyzing and applying my new skills and techniques, and if I have to think about them to do them right now, that's okay. For now. Eventually, it'll get to the point where I don't have to think about it (not one day too soon, in my opinion), but not today.

Well, yesterday, I wasn't thinking at all. I wasn't analyzing, planning, scheming, plotting, or concocting. By the end of the day, I wasn't even reacting. And it sucked.

That point, the part where I'm not thinking, I'm just doing, is the Zen I'm constantly harping on about. Sometimes I feel it--or, at least, feel it in the aftermath, because it sort of asserts itself without my noticing and I don't realize until it's gone that it was there at all. I know I won't have the Zen fencing every fight forever once I hit a certain point, but I'd like to have it regularly once I improve a little bit. For now, I'm stuck with my brain making noise most of the time.

I can't really remember any of my fights from yesterday. I can remember the fights from practice, I can remember the fights from Darach Anniversary last week, but I can't remember the fights from yesterday. I remember my first fight with Don Andre pretty well, because I was thinking and had a plan and all that good stuff, but everything after that was just awful.

As I think I've said before, I don't get annoyed when I lose, especially not when I lose to someone who's been fighting a lot longer and is a lot better than I am. I get annoyed when I lose and I can't figure out what I did wrong or how I got killed. That was my day all day yesterday.

Dons Andre and Alexander were kind enough to walk me through the fights afterward and, as always, Laertes was right there before and after to give me tips, pointers, suggestions, and encouragement. I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by very patient, encouraging, inspiring people who are willing to give their time and energy to help me improve my game, even when I'm being a bit of a brat about it.

I think this is the first hurdle Laertes mentioned I'd hit--where I'm getting a lot of new information and trying to implement it. He said the first little while of the studentship would be really frustrating because I wouldn't be improving, even though I had all these shiny new tricks and ideas to use. Quite possible.

Man, I wish I didn't get discouraged so easily. I've always been better at talking myself down than shoring myself up, and the more something matters to me, the harder I am on myself. I may not be a great fencer, but I have, like, a black belt in beating myself up.

This is something I notice in my personal life as well--the arsenal of things I have to make me feel good about myself is far outgunned by the arsenal of things I have to make myself feel worse. But that's a post for another day and another blog.

The solution to this, obviously, is more practice. Nate (Dylan, to those of you in the scene) suggested that maybe I was being too hard on myself and driving myself too hard to perform, but I think the opposite is true--I'm not practicing enough, or drilling enough. I know that results won't come overnight, but if I don't feel like I'm really doing my all, I have a reason to feel bad about my performance. If I feel like I'm working hard enough, I have no reason to beat up on myself. Slow and steady and all that.

I wasn't feeling great at the beginning of Darach practice today, and my first fight with Askell was terrible and very discouraging, but Don Alexander worked with me for entirely longer than he should have at playing with constraints (I've gotten how they worked just fine, it's the what to do after I get up in the face part I've had trouble with). After that I was back in the learning headspace and feeling a lot better.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

(Also, I have some new drills. More on those later.)

King's Hunt, 2010

Have refrained from ZARMing (that's what these posts have become in my head, ZARM posts) in the last few weeks because there hasn't been a lot of action at Isles practice (read also, I skipped Isles practice because it was finals week and spring break and figured there wouldn't be much going on there). I was having some trouble with the Angry Druids drill, but Laertes and I worked it out on Saturday at King's Hunt and I've got some more tools to improve.

King's Hunt left me with some additional drills which I will list here for no one's benefit but my own. :)

Angry Druids 2, now with more pointwork!
ZZ Top Lightening Bolt (parry drill)
Trapped in a Cone Box (narrow side)
Trapped in a Cone Box (long side)

This adds to the original drills:

Angry Druids
Figure-8 Cones (footwork drill)
Figure-8 Cones (footwork drill, backwards)
Arm and Wrist Strengthening (weights)

Fencing at King's Hunt was okay, pretty good, meh, and not great by turns. :)

On Friday night I sucked allllll over the field. I was stressed out about running the event, a little annoyed for reasons unrelated to this post, not concentrating or in the headspace at all, and had too much on my mind. I had fun, don't get me wrong, but I got killed like 3 times in the exact same way and eventually stopped before I was to disgusted with myself. :)

I asked Raphael how he killed me twice in the same place and he (to my eternal gratitude) was not at all condescending when he reminded me to move my offhand into a defensive position when I lunge. Doh. This was a good indicator that I was just plain not in the fencing headspace, and I'm glad I stopped while I was still serene enough to learn something from getting beaten so badly, rather than giving it another couple shots and getting really frustrated with myself.

Saturday was a bit better. I faced Cassandre and Edward (AKA Lord Pinky) in the Unscarved list and was out in two. That wasn't disappointing--they're both better and more experienced fencers than I am and I was neither one-shotted, nor tunnel-visioned, nor deer-in-the-headlighted at any point during the fights.

Cassandre said she'd waited for me to get a rhythm in my baton swings and sniped me in counter-time. What does this say to me? Well, better defense, so snipes don't connect, but also to fight more with single. The less I rely on my offhand, the more likely I am to be able to parry an unexpected attack, even if I have an established rhythm the opponent is trying to exploit. I think I just said the same thing twice. :)
As I've said before, one of the reasons I like to fight baton is that it makes me more confident and aggressive--and, unfortunately, one of the reasons it makes me more confident and aggressive is because it covers a lot of important flaws in my defense that simply can't be saved by dagger or buckler. Ergo, less baton, more single, and eventually more dagger. Fortunately, I have plenty of shiny new parry drills and a "Do not move ha ha" defense drill which should help with that.

Pinky even came up afterward and said I'd done much better than the last time we'd fought, which was a lovely unsolicited compliment that had me smiling and happy every time I thought about it. That, combined with the willingness of my opponents to tell me exactly how they had kicked my ass and how to make it more challenging for them next time, combined with some new tricks from the big L (and Don Alex B. as he watched us), made me feel very good about how the whole weekend turned out, fencing-wise. It was, as they say, a "learning experience," and not one of those nasty painful ones that culminates in a huge hangover.

On Saturday Laertes mentioned that this part (colloquially known as "the beginning") of the studentship can be extremely frustrating because people tend to learn a bunch of new stuff but not feel like they're improving. I have yet to reach that part of the experience--I'm still stoked to have the opportunity to learn more and do more, still stoked to be getting some tools which are geared to help me improve some of my specific weaknesses, and absolutely bomb-tastic thrilled to have been given this opportunity and the chance to exploit it in such a friendly, supportive community.

Crown Tourney, Spring 2010

Crown this weekend was really fun. It's always nice to camp for a weekend without having to pack the truck to bursting and drive 5+ hours--that's one of the (many, many) things I like about GWW, King's Hunt, and Crown (when we have it).

Anyway, I suppose I should talk about the elephant in the room...

On Sunday morning, Don Laertes officially accepted me as his student. We've been working on various fencing things at every event for the last 6 months or so (since Altavia Anniversary and Investiture and except for Estrella, which he didn’t go to), and I’m really excited to be working with him. It sounds silly, but it’s very flattering to feel like somebody is taking a personal interest in helping me improve something I care a lot about.

It was funny—as soon as he first mentioned the studenting thing to me as a possibility, Laertes stressed that becoming his student wasn’t an accomplishment per se, so much as it was an acknowledgement of the relationship we already had and a commitment to stick to it and continue to work together. So when he made his little speech Sunday morning, a bunch of people came up to me and started hugging me, shaking my hand, and congratulating me, and I was very surprised! Not that I mind all the praise and petting, of course—my ego loved it. :) I was just in the headspace that I was becoming someone’s student precisely because I have so much more to learn and so little experience, having people come up to me and congratulate me about it was completely unexpected.

It kind of threw some stuff into perspective for me. Possibly more on that later, we’ll see.

Anyway, right after that we went off and worked on some stuff. One of the first things he had me do was stand with him in the middle of the eric, in engagement range, and back up to within 3 feet of the eric ropes without looking at them. I stopped about 4 feet away, which was okay with me—I was worried I wouldn’t stop in time and would go over them! Then he had me do it with my eyes closed. Stopped about 3 feet away—good stuff!

Then he told me to stay at the edge of the eric, close my eyes, and advance to engagement range without looking at him. I did it, but I opened my eyes on the last step to make sure I wouldn’t impale him (never mind that he’s a grown up and could probably have moved out of the way in time…). Did it again. At that point I’d gone the same distance enough times that I didn’t feel like I was really feeling it anymore per se—I caught myself counting steps, so when I’d successfully completed the exercise I went back to the ropes and asked him to move back a bit so I wouldn’t be able to tell the distance from memory. He did, and I stopped exactly in engagement range. Maybe a little close, but dude.

Laertes said something along the lines of “see, your body already has really good judge of distance,” and I wanted to yell “Yeah, did you see that? Did you see me walk right there? I walked all OVER this eric! I’m a fucking NINJA!” And it’s true. I felt like a fucking ninja. Or possibly a tiger. Or a shark. Something really cool that can kill you really fast. Anyway. It was very exciting.

Then there were cones. And footwork drills. Footwork drills that had me going around the cones a lot. Then backwards. It’s sort of hard to describe, but I’ll be doing them tonight at fighter practice if anyone wants to watch or play. :)

Last but not least, I was presented with my very own inaugural 7 pound hand weight. At Great Western, Laertes taught me some wrist and arm strengthening exercises (I think he saw how much I was suffering because I hadn’t fenced in like a month before that), and suggested I do them with a small weight. When I saw him on Sunday he gave me a 7 pounder and told me that it was my goal.

I’m supposed to work up to being able to do 4 sets of 20 of each type of exercise (there are 5) with the 7 pound weight. Yesterday I decided my little 1-pounder was too boring and went to Big 5. After about 10 minutes of (probably very silly looking) waffling between the 2 and 3 pound weights, I went for a 3 pounder in a lovely shade of Kelly green. The 2 pounders just didn’t feel big enough to challenge me (and they were hot pink, which had absolutely nothing to do with my choice). I’ve been doing the exercises on the drive to work, and this morning I could do 1 warm-up with with 1 pounder and 3 sets with the 3 pounder before my arms got all warm and were like “No more!” I was very proud of myself.

Let’s see, this post has gotten significantly longer than I’d first imagined. I guess I’m just very excited to be taking some concrete steps in my fencing career. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to say in these posts than “Good pointwork today” from now on!

Oh, and thanks again for all the support, y’all. Either from the comments or the congratulations at Crown, it means a lot to me, and I really appreciate it. <3