Preflections on GWW 2011

Hey, see what I did up there? It's like "reflections," but from before? Before the war? ...oh, never mind.

So Dylan and I trucked on down to Altavia practice last night for some last-minute fencing before the war. I didn't get out to Darach practice on Sunday, because I was sewing ALL THE THINGS!, but Laertes and I had already planned on meeting up at Altavia.

We spent some time working on the headspace thing, and how I mentally treat practices one way, and tournies another. It's funny, it's kind of hard to take myself seriously writing about this, because it seems like such a silly thing to be hung up on, but there it is! I think I'm struggling with the fact that tournies are more definitive than practices. If you lose, you lose, and there are no do-overs or "Hey, try that again so I can figure out how to parry it!"s. They're not learning-oriented, they're results-oriented, which by it's very nature is a more stressful environment for me. Throw in a bunch of people watching and, well, I'm not aware of feeling self-conscious, but I probably do anyway.

Anyway, other than that, I'm feeling pretty good about my fencing game right now. Am I feeling skilled? Not particularly. But I'm feeling good. I'm digging my reaction time, the drilled-in instinct of parrying and throwing near-simultaneously, the integration of both hands and my feet, my sense of measure and tempo (now I just need to start working on either not throwing shots I don't have time to complete or throwing shots faster. Right now I'm throwing them, realizing they're a bad idea, and bailing on the shot halfway through. Thank God for parries.) Obviously, not all of these things are on at the same time, or consistently working at the caliber at which I'd like to perform, but looking back over the last two years or so, I know I've improved quite a bit. Progress isn't a small thing.

So Great Western War is upon us (and somehow I still have days and days of sewing to do... how does that happen?), and I'm pretty stoked. We'll be arriving Thursday, barring major developments, and leaving Monday--this gives me the opportunity to watch, if not participate in, all the fencing that happens at war! Woohoo! Things I'm particularly excited about include (in order of appearance):

• Running the rapier on Saturday with a lovely lady from Angels while the actual rapier steward observes Yom Kippur. I've never run rapier on such a big scale before, and never for an inter-Kingdom event, so while I'm nervous about how smoothly it'll go, I'm sure I'll learn a lot. Hopefully everyone's patient with us and no one acts like an asshat.
• The White Scarf Tourney on Saturday. I met a couple of really nice people at last year's WST (it got really good turnout from the West Kingdom's period-oriented fencers, and the ones I've met, I've really liked), and the tourney itself has sentimental value to me.
• The Ladies of the Rose Tourney on Sunday morning. Pageantry, pretty ladies, and a bunch of great fencing. What more can you ask for? I'll just remember to bring water to the field this year--last year the water bearers catered exclusively to the heavies fighters the next field over. :P

Hope to see you at war!

Of Angels Anniversary and Primary Secondaries and Secondary Secondaries, and Maybe Even Tertiary Secondaries (and now I'm just being ridiculous)

So yesterday was Angels Anniversary and it was a pretty darn good time. For those of you playing along at home, the Barony of the Angels is (unsurprisingly) most of the modern-day county of Los Angeles, so it's a well populated area and its events usually have pretty good turnout.

Angels is a great midpoint for me and Dylan (coming from Darach to the Northwest) to meet up with a lot of our friends from Lyondemere, Altavia, Angels, Gyldenholt, and Calafia. It was great to see some new faces yesterday on the rapier field as well. The Angels fighters are also sporting very spiffy new tabards.

The tourney format was a Swiss five, which is definitely growing on me--I enjoy getting to fight a lot and having a decreased focus on "I have to win my next fight or I'm out of the tourney" or "If I beat this guy, he's out, which leaves her and her and him and him and him to beat, which means at least five rounds, so I'd better conserve my energy, oh wait, I just drew that guy for this next round, so..." I enjoy the forced breaks in routine that come from having to choose different offhands in each round, and I enjoy getting to fight through a whole tournament up to semi-finals.

That being said, I didn't fight too terribly well yesterday. I had trouble with my dagger and buckler fights, but I did okay with case, cloak, and baton, which was surprising. Having trouble with my old standards seems to have become my new standard in tournies--I've been having trouble concentrating on my fights, as referenced in my last post, and I think mixing it up with some new offhands was good for me. It seemed to ground me and keep me concentrating--with case and baton I got my opponents' blades off-line and managed to get a throat shot (case) and a stomach shot (baton, while we were both on the ground). My cloak fight was fun--I don't remember much of it, but I remember enjoying it. :)

Fast forward to practice this morning, where I worked a lot on cloak with Don Alex K. Between Anniversary yesterday and practice today, something clicked--I was cloakin' it up big time.

It took some minor adjustments ("Sorry! Parried my own sword again!") but the cloak made my parries and the connection between my swordhand and my offhand-hand much more fluid and functional. I'd still been having some trouble with some of the more interesting dagger parries (ie, anything that doesn't make the dagger look like a windshield wiper), but I found myself doing a lot more complicated and bold parries with the cloak for reasons I can't really explain yet.

Anyway, it was a useful bit of data--maybe my problem with my primary secondaries (ahahahahahaha SEE WHAT I DID THERE) is that I fight with them too much. Maybe they're just getting stale.

I'm not sure how much merit is in that line of thinking, because I know there are still hangups in there I need to work through. Switching to a different offhand for a spell isn't going to improve my dagger parries if all they need is more practice. If I'm having a mental block brought on by some fundamental incorrect assumptions about the offhand itself, however, mixing it up with something new might be just the thing. We'll see.

Keep trying, trying

So I've been to a couple of events in the last few weeks--Coronation/QC two weeks ago and Gyldenholt Anniversary this past Saturday. They were lots of fun, and a few notable non-fencing awesomes took place...

• At Coronation, my friend Nathanial Longbow and I were called up as Her Majesty Mora's Rapier Lieutenants, which completely floored both of us. In conversation this last week, we figured that between the two of us, we could muster up one reputable rapier fighter, but it'll be a near thing; 
• At Gyldenholt Anniversary, a young man from Gyldenholt proposed to his girlfriend during opening court, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house; 
• Again at Gyldenholt Anniversary, Their Excellencies Ursul and Collette announced their choice of Reeves for the next Baronial pair as Masters Giles and Giuseppe, which resulted in an equally loud cheer and much laughter and happy crying.

So all of that? Awesome. There were other awesomes, too, I'm probably just forgetting them right now. :)

Fencing-wise, however, neither event went terribly well for me. I've been having trouble getting into the headspace, both at practice and at events, and I'm not sure where that comes from--mostly because I'm not sure what gets me into the headspace to begin with. :) I don't consider myself a very competitive or aggressive person, so just being out on the field isn't enough to get me excited and focused enough to perform well.

Laertes and I have talked a couple of times about my working out a routine that gets me in the headspace quickly, and while I'm all for Pavlovian responses, you have to train the dogs to salivate before you can poke holes in their stomachs. That metaphor worked a lot better in my head. I guess what I mean to say is, figuring out a routine is going to be easier once I'm more used to getting in the headspace. Chicken/egg. All of this is a snarky way to say that I have a feeling practicing more is going to fix this problem just as fast as thinking about it is. Possibly even faster. ;)

I've been doing lots of little maintenance things to keep the fencing stuff level, but I think I need to focus up a bit more. I've read my way through a lot of the texts Aliskye gave me at Altavia Anny, which were great, okay, and amusing in turns (especially the one book about adapting period-oid techniques to stage combat for the early 1900s--that one was hi-larious). I've been doing my little squeezy ball at work (until yesterday, when it sprung a leak and sprayed sand all over my desk... oops) and my fencing weights and resistance band and making new garb and stuff, but none of that improves my actual skillset, it just provides a good balance of stuff to do when I'm not at practice.

And wedding crap seems to have overwritten the fencing crap part of my brain. Now my free brain time is occupied by feminist critique of wedding traditions and integrating my Pagan/Wiccan and his Reform Jewish beliefs into a ceremony and most importantly OMG WEDDING SHOES.

So obviously I need new stuff to think about. I keep meaning to buy copies of The Book of Five Rings and The Art of War, both of which have nothing to do with fencing but will hopefully be good at getting me in the competitive/winning headspace. I have a couple other fencing friends who have gotten good stuff out of the texts, so I'm hoping they'll have similar effect on me, too. And, you know, I hate buying new books, so it's good to have a reason. ;)

Maybe I need to mix up my practice routine a little bit. Hmm. The trip down to Altavia kind of sucks without a carpool buddy, and Dylan's not going to make the trip with me (given that he does 8 hours of manual labor a day and gets up at 4:30 AM, I have no idea why he wouldn't want to go to a practice and get home at 11:30 or midnight on the first day of his work week. I mean, really.) I could probably do Isles once every couple of weeks, though... Hmmmmm...

It's Official.

So I have one of these little IsoFlex stress balls at my desk at work. I picked it up today to do my usual round of squeezing, and realized the outside cover is splitting. I'm wearing holes all over the ball, which split open and tear further as I squeeze.

It's official.

I have become the Hulk.

Altavia Anniversary 2011, garb plans, and an awesome present!

In a word? Muchbetterthanlastyear.

(Also, look! I've figured out how to use Blogger's jump break feature!)

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

I had a very good day. :) Here, have a song:

Bigger post later. Very sleepy now. 

*Gulp*

Tomorrow's Altavia Anniversary. I'm trying not to get in my head about it.

Last year's Altavia Anny sucked. I mean, I had a great time and saw all my friends and Dylan got his Duelist and glitter and kittens and flowers and a rain of beer and wenches. But the fencing part? Sucked. Sucked. Sucked.

Rationally speaking, am I in the same place, fencing-wise, that I was last year? No way. Absolutely not. No. A no so mighty it deserves more vowels. And perhaps to be in red.

And yet, I'm still a little antsy about it. Well, antsy and fatalistic and excited, because I'm determined to have a better time, period, regardless of how my fencing goes, and I'm 98% sure I'll be more satisfied with my performance this year than I was last year. But still. A little bit of the in-head-getting.

I don't want to take myself too seriously on this one--the more I worry about it, the bigger a deal it's going to be, and in the grand scheme of things, this is not a very big deal. Anyway, regardless of how the fencing goes, I'll get to see some awesome fights and hang out with my buddies and have fun, and that's the important stuff, right? Right.

Here, have a dose of the song I like to listen to when I'm taking myself too seriously:

Double Rainbow Autotune.

What does this meeeean? It'ssobright. It'ssovivid. Doublerainbow. Doublerainbow. It's so intense (tense tense tense tense).

King's Hunt 2011, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying (kind of) and Enjoy the Ride.

Not going to lie, folks. Despite the Zen I was cultivating during the week, I did not get a lot of sleep on Thursday night. We were due to leave immediately after work on Friday, and there was still some last-minute prep to do before and during packing, and then there was maggots (yes, you read that right), and at 12:45 AM I realized I'd forgotten a fairly major last minute bit of packing, which, once that was fixed, left me laying awake thinking about what else I might have forgotten and and and...

And everything turned out fine. Yep. No emergencies, no injuries, no temper tantrums, not even any uncomfortable calls or discussions.

Saturday
Saturday we ran Blood of Heroes, and it went great. It was very clean and fun to watch, with good behavior from everyone. I was a little nervous about the active marshaling that's often required in BoH (no one likes to get yelled at for apparently no reason, after all) but everyone was really receptive and willing to go with the flow. I cleared things up quickly with the folks who I thought might be confused by the calls I made, and everything seemed to go well. Overall, it was a really responsible and skilled group of people (and I had some very experienced and sensitive marshals working with me), so there was nothing to complain about at all. :)

After a break for lunch, the White Scarves took over to run a tournament for the unscarved fighters. This is something of an annual tradition in Caid--it's basically a tournament the White Scarves sponsor and choose not to participate in. This gives the other fighters an opportunity to showcase their skills, as well as giving the White Scarves a chance to compare and contrast fighters from different areas and track individual fighters' progress without having to worry about having to keep their own heads in the game, fighting-wise.

First of all, it was really hard to transition from the marshal brain to the fighting brain. It took me longer than usual to warm up and drag my brain from the marshaling vision (looking at everything and making judgment calls) to the fighting headspace (looking at nothing specific and reacting automatically). I hadn't expected that at all--hadn't given it any thought, to be honest, but in retrospect it seems like a pretty obvious thing to have to compensate for.

I was pretty pleased with how I fought during the Tourney. I had a nice warmup with Laertes and Don Alex Baird, which sort of helped get my head in gear. My first fight was against another lefty, and we double-killed the first time with identical shots to each other's ribs, which made us laugh. She ended up getting me the second time around.

My next fight was against someone I used to fight a lot in Isles, but who I hadn't fenced in awhile. She does great buckler work, and I really enjoyed our fight--I ended up making good use of the side-shot Laertes and I have been drilling and ended up taking her arm, giving up my offhand when she switched, and eventually taking her out. It was a really nice, clean fight. It helped that she was faster than I'd expected--it helped pull my head into the fighting space a little bit more and overall gave a really enjoyable fight. Afterward, Alex Baird congratulated me on maintaining control of the fight and gave me a small token of acknowledgment, which made me smile.

Fight numero three was against a fellow I hadn't ever fenced before. It was simultaneously the most satisfying and the most frustrating of my fights--I felt like my head was finally in gear, but he had a few inches of reach on me and some neat little three-beat attacks I had trouble countering effectively. He liked to start a low attack and swing it high, which I didn't have any trouble avoiding but defending myself against them left me unbalanced for a moment and kept me from taking advantage of the potential counterattacks when he was extended. I had trouble getting his tempo, which eventually ended up with me dead. :)

I think we must have double-killed the first time (my memory of the fight isn't clear), but I remember laying a nice soft cut down the top of his head and having to refight it. The second time around, I felt like my defense and footwork were both really solid up until the end, but I was fighting his fight, not mine. He ended up getting me with the last shot of a three-beat pass, but it was okay--I felt good about my performance overall and felt like I was pretty on, mentally, just not quite put together enough to work through his tactics. Que sera sera.

I marshaled pretty much the rest of the day (and, for the record, enjoyment of my performance aside, I'm ready to start making it past third round now! Kthx). I got to see some really pretty fights from up close, and I actually really enjoy the ritual of salutes, inquiries, and the eventual lay on before every fight. Tristan der English ended up taking the win, and other fighters were called up for various recognitions

For the record, marshaling is exhausting. By the end of the night, I was pretty much too tired to pay attention to what I was eating at the feast, and when a friend of mine handed me a wine bottle for a drink just as someone else dropped another bottle in the recycling bin nearby, I about jumped out of my skin because I was convinced I'd dropped the bottle and the noise I'd heard was it shattering by our feet. My friend pretty much peed herself laughing. I ended up going to bed about an hour after dinner and slept all through the night (despite the Wheel! Of! SCOOOOOTCH! going on outside in camp).

Sunday
Sunday mid-morning I drummed up the interested fighters and we walked down the hill to do some melees in the trees. We ended up having a fun and relaxing hour or two and made it successfully through the new melee scenario I came up with. Marshaling the melees turned out to be slightly more nerve-wracking than Blood of Heroes, because there were trees everywhere and it was hard to see everything that was going on, but I had a few talented and eager volunteers helping to marshal and MiT, so everything ran smoothly. I was a little nervous about the crappy ground (gopher holes everywhere!) and folks being a bit more tired than the day before, but we ended up having some really clean fighting and the only people who fell in the holes did so off the field, and it was great because I didn't have to do any paperwork no one was hurt.

Speaking of paperwork, I wrote down the names of everyone who MiT'd with me in my little notebook, so if I didn't get to sign their paperwork, I can later. Writing stuff down's my mnemonic--I won't remember who did what, otherwise. ;)

Overall, I was flattered and pleased by how many people came up and thanked me and told me they'd had fun. That's one of those gestures that really mean a lot, but is easy to forget to do when you're tired from fighting. I'll have to keep it in mind next time I'm fighting and someone else is running things, too.

I also had a lot of help this past weekend, both with mundane things like fielding questions and more complicated things, like marshaling all day and giving advice on judgment calls--there were a couple of people who marshaled above and beyond the call of reasonable time commitment, a couple of people who came out of the woodwork asking if I needed help, a few of what I've gratefully come to think of as "the usual" supportive and awesome people being awesome and supportive, and overall a great time with great folks. Thanks, everybody!

On Melees, Marshaling, and a Mini-Manifesto

Sunday I playtested a new melee scenario I concocted on a very generous and patient group of people at the Darach practice. At first I was a little dubious that the scenario would work, and could see similar skepticism on the faces of the combatants as I described it to them, but when we were done running it, everyone came up and said they had a good time. Yay!

Playtesting the new scenario pretty much alleviated my fears of OMG IT'S GOING TO SUCK EVERYONE WILL HATE IT and now I've accepted that of course someone's going to hate it, because you can't please everyone, but most people will probably have a passably good time. Now I'm just down to finishing up a couple of props, making sure I don't break the prize for the tournament before Saturday afternoon, wrangling the eric up to site, and otherwise lassoing as many of the octopus' tentacles as I can before the event.

I was very lucky to have the crowd that I did--four White Scarves and a double-handful of Duelists, all of whom have vast melee experience and were happy to tell me what they thought worked, didn't work, and could be tweaked for even more fun. I was really happy to have such an experienced pool of fighters to test the scenario on, and really appreciated their honest feedback and enthusiasm to make the scenario even more fun. They even came up with a name for it--The Borgia Rings. ;) 

I plan to debut the scenario at King's Hunt, among some other tried-and-true melees that most folks seem to like. This is my first time running two days' worth of rapier and running melees, period, so I'm hoping it all goes well. I passed my Marshaling test almost two months ago, and while I've run tournaments and such before, they were always small (5-15 people) and I always had a Marshal supervising or signing off on everything that I did--I've never run multiple days' worth of scenarios and tournaments or been the Marshal-in-Charge for rapier before. It makes me a little nervous (I'm checking armor! I'm calling holds! I'm approving weird offhands! PEOPLE COULD DIE!!!!!!), but I'm excited too (I'm keeping us on schedule! I'm explaining things! I'm bringing up new scenarios! PEOPLE COULD DIE!!!!!...and then come up and tell me how much fun they had!) 

I really feel like this is one of those things that A Serious Rapier Fighter Should Do--become a marshal, try your hand at running some stuff, experiment with making up new scenarios, just to see what it feels like and to get some perspective. It may be that this weekend goes terribly and I come away from it never wanting to take on this level of responsibility again (although I doubt it will), but that doesn't mean the experience itself will have been bad. I think it's really important to try to do as many different things as possible, even if it only teaches you to appreciate what other folks put themselves through on a regular basis. 

On a more personal level, I'm looking forward to being able to give back to the community a little bit. I had an interesting conversation with a friend on Sunday after practice about getting and keeping new blood in Caid, and keeping the Kingdom going during a recession, and maintaining interest and contribution to the rapier community (and I'm totally summing up badly, but that's not the point). It came from a conversation about the roles of White Scarves as teachers in Caid, and possible methods for including more teaching and more teachers in the rapier community, not just from the White Scarves, but from the populace at large.

I'm sort of of two minds about this--I definitely believe any well-recognized (by awards, word of mouth, or whatever) fighter should be held to high standards in terms of contributions to community and behavior as well as skill, but I also think this kind of perspective can lead to people expecting more from better-recognized or higher-ranked fencers in the Kingdom (to wit, the White Scarves) than they do from themselves... which is, again, a good and a bad thing.

If that kind of expectation encourages the White Scarves, Duelists, and old hats in the community to contribute more, think of new and better ways to keep fighters interested and learning, it's a good thing. If that kind of expectation starts to impact the self-esteem of newer, unrecognized, or less skilled fighters, or encourages laziness because "Oh, So-and-So will take care of that, s/he always handles that stuff," it's a bad thing. We have a lot of really good examples for creativity, research, behavior, and skill in this Kingdom (plenty of whom aren't White Scarves), and I'd hate to see someone newer or less experienced stifle their own creativity because they worry they wouldn't live up to someone else's example or because it simply didn't occur to them to volunteer for something someone else habitually handled.

I don't know if this is a serious problem, or not, but it might be worth addressing anyway. I guess part of this (doing the marshal thang, running the rapier at King's Hunt, even, to a certain extent, this blog) is a gesture to less well-recognized fighters and also to myself--to put myself out there, do try new things, to be okay with screwing them up, to muse over questions and lessons, and generally to keep thinking, discussing, and talking. A lot. Like I do. ;) 

A Widdle Personal Update

Finally! Finally! Finally the rain stopped! Halleluia! Praise the gods! Dance and sing in an emphatically non-rain-dancey way!

Yes, Sunday was the first time I got out to Darach practice in the last 3 weeks, because it was the first time Darach actually had practice in 3 weeks. I love love love having practice on the weekends, and I love love love having practice outdoors, but in the late winter/early spring it does make all practice plans pretty tentative--especially this year, when we've had a wetter, colder February and March than I've ever seen in Southern California. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some rain (reminds me of those foggy days in the Bay Area), but it does make fencing less likely.

I was a little tentative fencing on Sunday, because I'd spent a few hours at a pre-natal yoga class the day before (no, not for me--for a friend of mine whose husband couldn't make it). The class turned out to be about 50% individual yoga, which I'd never really done before (WiiFit aside), so I spent a lot of time with weight on both arms and/or my feet flexed. I was worried that after two days of exercise, my elbow and foot would be complaining loudly on Monday, but so far they both feel fine. I iced my foot Sunday night and took Advil before and after exercising on Sunday, and things seems to be holding up pretty well. We'll see how I feel after King's Hunt this weekend, where I'll hopefully get to fence at least a little bit two days in a row.

Drills and Such

Other than playtesting the new melee scenario (see followup post), I got to spend some one-on-one time drilling with Laertes, which was great. I really feel like I've been slowly (slooooooowly) improving over the winter, and doing the same drills I've been doing off-and-on for the last year or so is a good touchstone for me. It's nice to do a drill and think Okay, that's easier than it was three months ago, or Okay, I'm better at this part, now I need to focus on fixing this more advanced thing.

One thing Laertes observed, which I think is definitely true and led me into some more complicated musing, was that I'm much more confident when I'm fighting him. It's true--I'm more relaxed, more aggressive, and more self-assured. At the time, I said it was because we were just doing drills and I could expect him to throw one of three or four shots, so I got to turn the more watchful, anticipatory part of my brain off... but then he switched styles and it turned out that I maintained the attitude, even when we weren't drilling.

This is a behavior I've noticed with folks I'm used to fencing (folks I started fencing with in Isles, Laertes, friends from various fighting units I've practiced with, etc.) and it's sort of a good and a bad thing--I can relax enough to concentrate on fine-tuning my technique, which is cool, but it still only happens with people I'm fairly familiar and comfortable with, not all the time. I'd love to be able to bring that attitude to all of my fencing endeavors, not just practice with people I'm close to or have fenced with a lot.

I think that's one of those things that will come with time, although probably more time than I'd like. I do have a deep vein of self-consciousness that comes out when I'm fencing (most of the rest of the time, it's covered by a deluge of snark and one-liners). I guess I'm worried about being too easy a fight, about people who are watching forming bad opinions of me and my meager skillz, of looking like a doofus (more than usual). 

Oddly, that self-consciousness might contribute to my strong drive to be chivalrous and generally well-behaved on the field. I have a much higher opinion of people who are weaker fencers with unfailing courtesy than I do of people who win every tournament they enter and have every award their Kingdom has for rapier, who are unfailingly rude and dismissive--you know, the people who clearly think more highly of themselves and their "accomplishments" than they do anyone else, because they don't have to respect anyone who isn't exactly like them and doesn't meet their narrow and self-serving criteria of success. I'd rather be a shitty fencer who has a reputation for good times and good behavior on the field than the best fencer in the Society who has to have all the doorways in her house widened to get her head through, know what I mean?

Anyway, more of the same. Practice practice practice. Maybe I should just fence naked for a few months and get all the self-consciousness out of my system through over-exposure. :) 

Keep Calm and Carry On

Hi all! I just wanted to drop a brief update here--there's not much new going on over here in Chateau Enid, but there are a couple of things worth noting.

I've been going to Darach practice recently, because my work weeks have been super busy and my carpool buddy moved to Mississippi, making the drive down and back from Altavia (between 45 mins and 1:30, depending on traffic) a bit more nerve-wracking. I tend to get sleepy on the freeway, especially in a warm car or at night, so driving by myself at night, in winter, with the heater on, doesn't really appeal. :)

I really enjoy the feel of Darach practice--it's usually pretty small, but it's spearheaded by Dons Alex K. and Eogan ("Owen"), giving us a good ratio of Scarves to non-Scarves. They're both really willing to teach and pretty much everyone who attends the practice regularly is very friendly, laid back, and approachable, which really colors the whole ambiance of the practice for me. That's not to say that any of the other practices I've attended are stuffy or overly serious or in any way not fun--just that this one's smaller, so I get some more individual attention, which I like (spoiled brat that I am), and all the regulars there are very easy to get along with.

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good about my fencing right now in general. Between the maintenance exercises and the fish oil, neither foot nor elbow have been bothering me much (I could feel my elbow working hard at practice yesterday, but it's not sore at all today). I've been working on incorporating more forward motion into my fight, and a shout-out is due here to Don Alex B., who led an impromptu class on sloping and compass steps at Altavia practice a month or so ago that I found really helpful.

Yesterday I was playing around with them with a fencer who I haven't fought a lot (I think he might be kind of new, not sure). He basically fought with lots of circling, lots of going backwards, and lots of sticking the sword out, hoping someone will run into it. Forward-moving aggression consisted pretty much exclusively of little shots at the hands and face--more of a "Don't come any closer!" than a genuine attack. It was a lot like fighting myself six months ago, with less hair. ;) I had fun experimenting with sloping steps to throw his circling off, or to invite him in closer so I could hit him. I concentrated mostly on my own defense and working through his sturdy parries and offhand-work, with some good success. Now I just have to work on making my advances more subtle--if I wasn't taking a step in to counter his circle, he could tell what I was doing and countered my advances quickly.

I did notice that I started getting frustrated with myself as I started getting tired at practice. It was interesting to note--I haven't had a lot of frustration with myself recently. Between time commitments and joint issues, I've been so glad to be out fencing at all that it's hard for me to have a bad time out on the field. :) Yesterday, though, my brain had ideas for stuff to do and none of it was quite working fast or fluidly enough--I think I was just getting tired, and I wasn't reacting quite as fast or as skillfully as I wanted to. Either that or because someone dropped a comment about my not doing the correct motion to counteract my opponent's defense, and it bothered me. I didn't think it did at the time, but it might have wormed its way into my brain and irked me. I'm disinclined to take my subconscious that seriously... ;) Not a big deal either way, just something worth noticing.

Let's see, what else is going on? Tourney season is almost upon us, Caid's Crown Tourney was this past Saturday, and I'm working on a new doublet. I hope the pattern I have now serves me well enough to get a fighting dress out of, as well. We'll see how the new doublet wears--I already know it fits me, but it remains to be seen how comfortable it's going to be. Working on garb has always been a bit of a challenge for me, because it ties into some body-image issues I've always had (and really, doesn't everyone have some body image issues? Come on, now.) It's been a long uphill battle to acknowledge and accept that the only way I'll feel like I look nice in my garb is by taking the time and effort into making nice garb, rather than just throwing a T-tunic on and trying to avoid mirrors for the whole event. :)

There's all of that and the fact that I really do think a nice, period appearance on the field is important (or at least an obvious attempt at a period appearance), so I really owe it to myself to make something nicer. My current doublet is basically a waster I cooked up quickly, trying to supplement my fighting gear, and ended up wearing full time after I gained some weight in the last quarter of college and hadn't lost. Now, a year and a half later, I've lost some of the weight and don't have any good excuses anymore. :)

Also coming along the pipe are slipcovers for my sneakers, a new hood, and hopefully a dress of some kind. I'd love to find some super-discounted brocade for a new gear bag as well, as the camp-chair bag I repurposed for my gear is on its last legs, but that's kind of an ongoing desire, not an active plan.

That's about it for now. See you next time--Same Enid time, same Enid channel.

Temper Temper

So I was at the Darach war practice on Sunday and something funny happened. Well, it wasn’t really funny in that “Ha ha, oh Enid, you card!” way that’s always soooo charming, it was funny in that “Wow, I just completely took myself aback by doing something really unexpected!” way.

I was in a line standing across from a gentleman who killed me just as I thought I tip-cut across the width of his forearm (in Caid, a tip cut across the width of a limb is enough to render it useless). His kill on me was unquestionable, but as I turned around to walk back to the resurrection point, I saw him turn and continue to fight his way down the line, both arms intact and in use.

I’m not going to definitively say I did or I didn’t hit his arm, because really, mistakes happen on both sides, and the point of this post is not to cast aspersion on a member of my community or to paint myself as some kind of tolerant, saintly wronged party, but rather to confess something a bit shameful about myself:

As I was walking back to the res point, I heard myself say “Hey, don’t take that arm or anything!”

Now, in the grand scheme of things, this is not a big deal. It’s not like I shouted it at him across the line, or went screaming to the marshals frothing at the mouth, or ran back from the res point looking for revenge, or jumped across the line and kicked him in the kneecap, or waited patiently for the first opportunity to slash his tires and put sugar in his gas tank. No one even heard me say it, as far as I know, because I was surrounded by ten feet of empty grass in every direction. But it struck me. What was I saying? Why did I have an issue with this guy? What possessed me to actually speak my frustrations out loud and uncensored, rather than doing something productive about them? I’m not the kind of person who says stuff like that just to vent, right?

But bottom line is, I did say it, it was rude, and it was petty and passive-aggressive. It wasn’t even prompted by a serious issue, because if I’d had a serious problem with him, I would have asked him about it, right then and there. That’s probably what I should have done anyway, just to clear the air.

The point is, my temper was up, I got annoyed, and I let it come out without even thinking about it. I was just blowing off steam. I remember hearing myself say something and stopping, really surprised at such a display of bad behavior. Actually, my annoyance at him completely vanished because the behavior struck me as so out of character.

See, one of my biggest pet peeves on the field is people who can’t control their temper. It’s a close second to unchivalrous jerks who can only have a good time if they’re winning. To me, losing your temper on the field is indicative of only one thing: that it’s time for you to be somewhere else. I see someone march off the field, swearing holes in the ozone layer, or throwing their gear around on the sidelines, or yelling and crying about the terrible time they’re having (unless they’re actually injured, of course), and I wonder why they’re there in the first place. Clearly they’re not having a good time, and now they’re making a big deal about it, probably impacting other folks’ good time, and generally acting childish. Temper tantrums don’t get three year olds what they want, why should adults expect anything different?

I realize I’m not necessarily demonstrating the most magnanimous perspective here, but it’s something I feel pretty strongly about. The rapier field is not the place for temper tantrums, just like it’s not the place for backbiting, hurt feelings, or any manner of unchivalrous behavior. If you have a problem with someone, you find them, and a marshal if you really think it’s necessary, and you discuss it rationally, like grown-ups. Everyone gets pissed off, everyone gets upset, and everyone has a right to their feelings—but, as much as is possible, it should not affect your game. As one of my favorite YouTube videos tells us:

“Feelings? Look, mate, you know what has a lot of feelings? Blokes what bludgeon their wife to death wif a golf trophy. Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”

I’m not much of a one for mottos, but the last few sentences above seem pretty apropos to me, fencing-wise. That and “If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.”

I appreciate that it's not always easy to see the big picture or keep from getting frustrated, and Lord knows I don't always practice what I preach, but that's the mindset with which I try to approach life on the rapier field. In fact, I have a higher standard of behavior for myself on the rapier field than I do off. It's a combative environment, one full of physical force, yelling, and emotional highs. Tempers can flare, feelings can be hurt, and resentments can brew. In my own little way, I try to pay it forward by staying upbeat, keeping myself smiling and trying to get others to smile too, and trying to cultivate an attitude of generosity.

Usually, I’m pretty good at keeping my cool, and at fixing bad behavior when I notice it or hear about it (for example, I used to swear a lot on the field, but I don’t at all anymore). I’m often snarky, occasionally sarcastic, frequently profane, and generally as imperfect as everyone else, but I very rarely let myself get angry on the rapier field. I have an extraordinarily long fuse, and am more likely to laugh at someone who’s pissing me off than I am to yell at them. Screaming, crying, and passive-aggressive BS are not usually my thing, which is why the random exclamation on Sunday surprised me so much.

Is that really so far a cry from marching off the field, whipping off my mask, bursting into tears, and yelling at everyone in earshot about whose fault it is that I’m not having fun anymore? Because (SPOILER ALERT) the person who’s responsible for me having or not having fun is me. I’m in control of my behavior, or so I thought, and I can choose to ignore bad stuff, behave chivalrously, and try to increase my own and other folks’ fun. I don’t want to start exhibiting behavior I find shameful, disappointing, or immature, even if the only person who knows about it is me.

At the end of the day, the net impact of my actions on the field was probably nothing, but the net impact of my actions on myself was worth noticing. I surprised myself. I expected better from myself. If nothing else, it’s a valuable reminder that, as easygoing as I try to be, I do have a temper in there somewhere, and sometimes it acts without consulting the upper management. That’s not an excuse—it’s just something I have to keep an eye on, and apparently should have been before now.

The New Year: Plans, little thoughts, and a dash of whatnot.

This is just a little check-in post, not a lot of groundbreaking revelations here, just some stuff I've noticed and updates on current projects.

I took about a month off of fencing this winter, both by accident and by design--our cat went back into congestive heart failure and we decided to put her down, I traveled up to the Bay Area to be with my family for a week over the holidays, I got back into town and was booked solid for New Year's weekend, and then we got about a week of rain which mired our local practice and occurred around the same time I sprained my right foot, which I had injured the year before and which frustrated me hugely. It was a busy month, and between the emotional stuff, the physical stuff, and the logistics of the holidays, fencing got put on the back burner.

I fought yesterday at the Caid pre-Estrella melee practice, and I was pretty pleased with my performance. My parries are doing really well, and while my endurance isn't up to par (you mean a month of holiday food and no fencing has, like, detrimental effects? Madness!), overall I felt like I did well. My reflexes, if nothing else, seem to be continuing to improve. I no longer seem to be letting my offhand do all the work for me--both my sword and offhand parries were fairly good yesterday, and I felt like they worked well together. It's worth noting that my calibration suffered a bit after the time off, and a couple of my hits near the end of the day were rather hard. I felt crappy about it and apologized, naturally, and managed to get it under control in fairly short order.

I've been careful not to stress out my tennis elbow during the last couple of months, and I'm pleased to say I fenced for about four hours yesterday and am not feeling it at all today. I was having some trouble with it last week, but I took my fish oil twice a day and stretched it out with some reps on my one-pound hand weight, and that seems to have helped.

I could feel my recently-sprained foot muscles working really hard yesterday, but they didn't hurt in a bad way, if that makes sense. They ached and felt tight, but they didn't throb, feel hot, or sting/burn in the way I've come to associate with my body saying "Stop what you're doing immediately or face the wrath of your soft tissue!" I'm pleased to say I seem to have read myself right, because the foot's not sore at all today. I iced it last night and took some ibuprofen before I went out on the field, just in case, but I seem to be pretty much mended. I'm really reassured and pleased by the good results.

I also turned in my written marshaling test yesterday. I completed the events I needed as a Marshal-in-Training over the summer and fall, got the recommendations I needed from marshals, and spent some time last week working on the written test. I have a lot of issues with the so-called 'current' edition of the marshal's test, from a documentation standpoint, but I don't need to burden the webernets with them at the moment--suffice it to say that I haven't gotten official results back, but I think I did as well as I could, felt good about my answers, and hope to hear the same from the KRM.

So, what's the spring look like? Well, a few different things:

• We won't be making it to Estrella this year, which is actually kind of a relief. Don't get me wrong, we wouldn't go to Estrella at all if we didn't have a good time, but between two full-time jobs with no PTO or sick time, upcoming changes at my job (I hope!), and a beater truck that will need major repairs or to be replaced at some point in the next six months, I think Estrella would be more stressful than fun this year.
• I'm running the rapier tournaments and melee scenarios at King's Hunt this year. I'm stoked--I've run tournaments and pre-existing melees before (Blood of Heroes and the like), but I've never orchestrated a whole weekend's worth of fencing before. I'm a combination of excited and nervous, but I know I have lots of people I can ask for help and advice, so I'm looking forward to the challenge.
• I plan to experiment a bit more with fighting garb this spring--and by "experiment" I mean, "make something it's not embarrassing to be seen in." I'm slowly re-envisioning my craft corner to be friendlier, more functional, and generally less of a PITA to use. Right now there's a major energy barrier to doing anything sewing-related, just because the space is so cramped, messy, and generally overburdened with stuff. No matter how long I wait, the boxes of fabric don't seem to be making more space for themselves (is this normal? I'd expected them to breed some square footage by now. Maybe I need to play some Barry White.) so I'm starting to spread out a little bit. Anyway, the garb plans include a new doublet or fighting dress, slipcovers for my sneakers, and potentially a new hood.

Anyway, I think that's about it for now. Weights, fish oil, practice, and sewing machines, here I come. Onward and upward!

Great Western War, 2010

Whoo, mama! It's been awhile since I posted. This summer's been crazy. However, I hope to be back and a bit more regular now that the autumn is getting underway. My job's a bit more stable (which is both yaaaaay and aaaaaaargh), my boyfriend's finally got one, and we're adjusting to the joy of suddenly being a two-income apartmenthold... clearly we need to have some kids, because Lord knows them dishes ain't doin' themselves.

Moving right along.

What better way to ring ZARM back in than with a post about my very favorite war, Great Western War! Every year I have an absolute blast at Great Western (thanks in large part to the great site, camping with the boyfriend's household, and the fact that it always falls on or around my birthday weekend), and this year was no exception.

I have to say, I was looking forward to this particular war with some trepidation--it was our first time leaving our cat alone overnight since the Great Vet Trips of 2010, I'd had a couple of bad days due to some difficult work news, we could only manage to head up to the war on Saturday and Sunday because of work and a total absence of PTO in my full-time job (Ever. Any. At all.), and we had enough to do before we left that we wouldn't be able to leave for the site until after dark. I was not looking forward to the war by 4 PM on Friday afternoon.

And yet.

War. Oh war. Something about war just perks me right up. Maybe it's because of the people. Or the turning off of cell phones and disconnecting from the internet for a couple of days. Maybe it's because I love blood and violence. Who can say?

War kicked ass pretty much continuously from Friday night to Sunday night, and a big part of that was the fencing. So let's get to it:

Saturday

Saturday was the White Scarf tourney in the morning and melees in the castle in the afternoon. In the White Scarf tourney, which was held last year as well, a White Scarf sponsors two unscarved fighters and they tag team in and out between rounds throughout the tournament--sort of like Pokemon, but more fun to watch.

Warmups were a little something different--Laertes shoved me over to Don Alex Baird and rather than a static drill warmup, he just had us throw blows back and forth without stopping at about 75% speed, very gentle and easygoing. For a minute or two I felt like my brain was lagging behind my body, but I got one good touch in on his arm and suddenly everything clicked into place. It got me into the fencing headspace really quickly, and whether that's a testament to the warmup or my own increased ability decreasing my mental lag, I can't say. Whichever the case (or if both is the case), it worked great.

The WS tourney was lots of fun. I lost both my fights, but I had some really nice and fun opponents. I can't recall the second one right now (beyond getting one-shotted just as I started thinking--well done, sir!), but the first fight was with a very nice gentleman who seemed pretty evenly matched with me. We had a couple of nice passes and he ended up taking me out, but I felt really good about the fight--very grounded and confident, like I, as the good book says, owned my space on the pavement.

I also got to hang out with some peeps I sort-of know and would like to know better, Shannon (whose SCA name is something like a very feminine sounding Christian... probably has an E on the end or some damn thing) and her husband Thomas, and Gerrick's (more spelling issues) ladyfriend Maureen, who's just a huge sweetheart and lots of fun. I also got to schmooze a bit with some of the Westies I see annually at GWW or know through Facebook, which was great. Staffan and I stole back to his pavilion (scandal!) to discuss some manuals we'd talked about online and I've now ordered a copy of an out-of-print book on basic foil and epee fencing that apparently has a lot of period-oid crossover. When life calms down a bit more, I'm excited to get into it.

In the afternoon, there were melees in the heavies' haybale castle, which were just a total blast. We busted the spears out and for the first time I really thought they affected play on the field--previously I'd only been in line-battle type melees where the spears were used, and, while I thought they were fun, the only effect they had on me were that I had to watch three people down on my left and right on the lines, rather than one or two. Being able to shoot over the haybale walls with the spears and get up on the second tier of bales to parry them really added a layer of intensity and thought to the melees which can often get lost in doorway battles. There was no standing in the third or fourth rank, waiting for enough people in front of you to die for you to get your turn--you had to actively check the air over your head (well, I did anyway) and around the edges of the door for a spear. Lots of fun, especially when I perched up on a haybale on the edge of a door and sniped across the line for incoming hands.

Another really nice touch about Saturday was that the White Scarf Tourney last year was really one of the first tournies at which Laertes' and I had worked together, so we had lots of check ins during the day comparing how I'm fighting this year (okay!) to how I fought last year (friggin' awful). He and Gerrick (whose name I should know how to spell by now, but I don't) were both very positive and reassuring and specific about where and how I'd improved, and kept reminding me to take note of myself now versus last year. I really appreciate the encouragement and support they've both provided, and genuinely consider the good environment to be a huge part of why I've improved as much as I have over this past year. The learning environment really is ideal for me (lots of talking, lots of snark, lots of support, and high expectations with no pressure to win or be the best! or make the other kids cry! or any of that Cobra Kai bullshit), and has done a lot to boost my confidence. Thanks, guys!

Sunday

First thing on Sunday morning was the Valkyrie Rose Tourney, hosted by the Ladies of the Rose in honor of the late Duchess Sir Kolfinna. There's been a Rose tourney the last couple of years at war (methinks), but the last two have been a bit fraught with emotion for everyone--the one last year took place around the same time as the memorial service, which was hard for a lot of people, and the one this year was in her honor.

In my first fight, I drew Don Eogan (more on tourney format below), who caught my rhythm and one-shotted me very quickly. A bit frustrated, I retreated to the loser's pool and was perked up by a couple of good passes with a Western White Scarf whose name I failed to catch. He tried to take a blow I landed on the side of his neck, basically parking my edge on the bottom of his gorget with no pressure or pull whatsoever, but I said it wasn't any good and we should redo it. He was an utter gentleman and tried really hard to take the shot, but finally said it was up to me to determine whether it was good or not and I insisted we refight it. We had a couple exchanges at full speed (for me, probably rather slow for him!) and I ended up taking him out with a lucky shot on the mask. I was really pleased with that, and glad I'd gotten such a chivalrous and fun opponent. My next fight was with a young lady from the West who was equally polite and cheerful, and who took me out in fairly short order... she made it to quarterfinals, though, so I didn't feel too bad about it. :)

The fighting was great, but the tourney itself was a bit of an ordeal--not for any emotional reasons on my part, but because it was a speed tourney (two groups of fighters pair off and fight, then sort into two lists, the winners and losers lists, which continue to fight until there's a winner of each, pretty much non-stop) and it was out in the gorram sun near a small haybale room. It had been getting warmer all war, and I imagine the high on Sunday was somewhere in the 90s. There were a lot of fighters and a speed tourney was absolutely the best way to get through the list in less than an hour, but we were sweltering out there and the waterbearing table was totally understaffed, so there was no water within five hundred feet of the tourney field.

(Actually, I think the one water table in sight was intended for the heavies who were doing scenarios in the castle... right next door to the rapier field... with their crossbows a-firing, and may I just say, LEARN TO AIM, KIDS, because dodging crossbow bolts while trying to fight or marshal in the heat after a few rounds of speed tourney? Not a lot of fun. Suggestions to the marshals that scenarios involving projectiles be rescheduled for a few minutes or fought without archery didn't seem to be accepted, which hopefully had a good reason, because from where I was standing it was a bit annoying. Moving right along.)

I ended up going over to the heavies' water table and asking to steal six or eight bottles from them for the tourney. They were really nice and said it was no problem as long as they got all the bottles back, so I took a double armful and parked them all on one haybale. People were really good about returning them, and half an hour later I had all the empties to return to the waterbearers. Hopefully that helped everyone--I could tell the water crew felt bad about not being able to provide for everyone, but I think they were technically promised to the heavies field and there were only two of them. They appreciated us returning the bottles, and the fighters appreciated the extra hydration, so I think it worked out well for everyone.

Anyway, not much else to say about fencing at GWW. I didn't do Blood of Heroes or melees that afternoon (and a good thing, because we had to break down later that night and I ended up throwing my back out, so it would have been a pain to have to deal with that on top of being all exhaustified), but I heard everyone had lots of fun. I sure did. :)

Back on the Horse; Notes on Fencing To and From the Ground.

Phew! It's been awhile!

I've had a busy few months, faithful ZARMers, culminating in a week of suck, a week of awesome!, and now another couple weeks of suck which seem to be receding. Forecast of slightly snarky, chance of showers up to Great Western War.

That's right, kids, it's that time again--time for Great Western War! Until today, I've only been looking towards the war as another Thing I Have To Do (not that I have to do it, but we already paid for it and it's one of those tricky things I know I'd want to do if I wasn't so bogged down with stuff). As of now, we're going, we're camping, and we'll be there Friday night and leave Sunday afternoonish. It's possible we'll have to bail early--among the pail of o nuuuuuuuuuu! the universe dumped on us this month was a heart problem with our two-year-old kitty, which has been hugely stressful, heartbreaking, and expensive. "Chance of showers" has pretty much summed up my entire emotional state for the last two weeks, and I'm just now catching my breath.

Anyway, one of the things I am looking forward to about the war is getting to fence my squirrely little heart out. I haven't been giving fencing as much love as it needs this summer, and it's showing in my game, but I'm still stoked to get out there and shake my groove thang for a couple days. I really want to give fencing more time in my schedule... I just need to figure out how to make said time! :)

The substance of this post is supposed to be all about fighting on the ground. Last Saturday at Caid Rapier Open, Laertes noticed I was having some issues fighting both against someone who's on the ground and when grounded myself, and that's some of what we worked on on Monday night at Altavia practice.

Basically, my problem is that I revert to some basic no-nos of fencing technique when I'm on the ground that I totally know better than to do when standing. For example, I tend to present a flat surface to my opponent by facing them head-on (in as much as my torso ever gets flat... bow chicka wow wow!). This could be solved by fencing like I'm standing up, which is to say with my right shoulder behind my left and offhand held farther forward and a bit higher than I'm usually accustomed. It's a fine line between protecting my head and protecting my stomach, but it's mostly a psychological line--anyone attacking me while I'm sitting down is going to have a substantially easier time hitting my head and chest than my stomach.

Problem number two, obviously, is the position of my offhand. It needs to be higher. Better. Stronger. Cheaper. Well, higher anyway. I have a natural aversion to raising it too high because it uses some underdeveloped muscles and tires my arm out more quickly (gosh, I wonder how I could fix that problem). It also feels safer to keep it low, because my parry up (ie, raising the blade of the dagger from a nine-o'clock to a twelve-o'clock position and returning it to nine) is much faster than my parry down (dropping the blade from nine to six and raising it back up). The parry down is also less controlled and uses more of my arm, so I hesitate to use it any more than I have to. More things to work on. Or, as Laertes said so very succinctly, "PARRY DRILLS."

Fighting a legged fighter from a standing position will take a similar attitude adjustment. I have a pretty good foot void that keeps my forward leg from getting taken most of the time, but I still tend to stand facing the legged opponent most of the time anyway. My main strategy fighting a legged person is to take crappy little potshots in the hope of getting a good hit on the hand, arm, or head, which doesn't really work for me too well. For some reason, fighting like I was fighting a, you know, standing fighter, hadn't occurred to me. You know, all that basic stuff about engagement? Line closing? Constraint? Dagger use? All that? Yeah, no, none of that. Potshots, though. Heeeeeey.

There's nothing really ground-breaking in this post, discovery-wise, just little bits of technique I feel like it's worth commemorating (in part because I feel silly for not realizing them before).

OMG Shoes

Hey all,

So I had a lovely time at Darach Pirate Tourney yesterday, and now I have a question. Rather, I'm soliciting for recommendations.

I need good fencing shoes.

Here's the thing. Nothing hard about good fencing shoes, right? Twenty dollars at Payless, right? Right. EXCEPT for this damn back of mine.

I've been wearing my New Balance sneakers (by far and away, the most back- and hip-friendly sneakers brand for me), and am often given shit for them. It annoys me to get commentary about my footwear, but I can't really complain because period appearance really is important to me, it's recommended in the marshallate handbook, and I definitely look down on those dudes at Estrella who walk onto the field in wolf furs and black jeans. I can't just turn my nose up at them while lacing up my sneakers... especially since I usually have to kneel down to lace up my sneakers, making it hard to look down on anything but my knees. :)

The reason it annoys me to get commentary about them, however, is because I've tried three different versions of more acceptable footwear on the field, and none of them work. They've all thrown my back or hips out within a few hours of wearing them. My hiking boots worked fine for awhile (and while still obviously out of period footwear, they look better than sneakers... and, for some reason, garnered me less criticism. Go figure), but when I tore the ligaments in my foot, they were too heavy to wear long-term, especially when running around.

I have fairly limited options for long-term footwear right now, and the more physical activity I'm doing, the more careful I have to be about them. I do need to get some more back musculature to keep everything in place, which will improve the problem somewhat, but this really is an ongoing complaint--not only are the sneakers more comfortable, they keep my chiropractic bill down and keep me walking and having a good time after I come off the field. Usually wearing the wrong shoes will end with me flat on my back waiting for my joints to realign properly. I'd really like to fence all day and still be able to run around afterwards with my friends, not have to pop some Advil and call it an evening early.

Sigh. It feels stupid to write about this, because I feel like I'm whining, and I really don't mean to. I just want to articulate myself and my complaints accurately, and I really want some advice.

It's been suggested that I make some leather or fabric covers for the sneakers, which I think is a great idea, but would probably take a lot of upkeep and trial and error before I got them right. I'm certainly willing to do it, but I'd like some other options, too. ...Not to mention a pattern. Anyone got a good pattern for spats or slipcovers for sneakers?

So, what do y'all like to wear on your feet when you fence? I've done a couple different kinds of period-oid boots, and they don't give me proper arch or heel support. The hiking boots worked, but won't do right now for reasons mentioned above. I've tried both the generic Dr. Scholls gel inserts and more expensive athletic inserts, and they add a couple hours of comfort, but still aren't ideal (at Lyondemere Anny two weeks ago, I tried them with a pair of thick socks in one of my pairs of period-y boots and while the fencing wasn't uncomfortable, I was flat on my back before the end of court).

So, what have I tried so far?

• Different boots (hiking boots, a shitty cheap pair from Payless, and a nice pair from Clarks)
• Inserts (generic and athletic)
• Socks (thick or thin socks can affect the fit of a non-lacing shoe, like a boot, so I try to mix it up and see what works best)
• Stretching before and after fencing (durrrrrrrrrrr)

What have I not tried so far?

• Custom-made boots (OMG money)
• Custom-made orthopedic inserts (can these be swapped between pairs of shoes, or are they specific to one pair? Can anyone tell me approximately how much they cost? Do they actually help, or are they no different from over-the counter athletic inserts?)
• Building up the muscles in my back and hips and transitioning over to nearly-barefoot footwear (slip-on ballet flats, jazz shoes, or what have you--also not terribly periodoid, but better looking from afar). I think this might be the best option just for my long-term health, but it doesn't solve the immediate need-to-fix-ugliness-right-now kind of problems.

I really need something that fits, well, a lot like a New Balance sneaker and doesn't weigh too much. I'd like to keep the cost down, but at the moment I'm more interested in collecting some useful vendor names and links so I can do some more research. Lay it on me, folks!

Triumph! Or, how I made friends with my brachioradialis.

A Day in the Life of the Elbow

When last we left our intrepid (insipid?) blogger, Enid was mourning the death of her left arm.

Well, boys and girls, Enid learned a new word this month:

Brachioradialis.

It all goes like this:

After the last post, I got a lot of commentary and feedback (usually in person, rather than in type, which is why it isn't too crowded down there in the archives) from other fencers. Fencers I respect, fencers with years more experience than I have, fencers who I want to be like when I grow up. Almost universally, their response was "Take time off now, before it gets any worse." So I put my feelings on the matter aside, carefully considered their advice, inserted my fingers into my ears, and went LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

But I did everything else they told me to do. :) Namely, I went out and got a pressure-point brace, started an anti-inflammatory regimen, made sure to ice it every night, and had it massaged twice a day by kindly Tibetan monks. Well, not really with the monks. But that would have been awesome. And let me tell ya, I wore that brace every damn day. I wore it driving, wore it when while I cooked, wore it playing video games, wore it sewing, and wore it at work (especially when typing. Talk about tendon isolation, wow. Typing was a pain in the butt. Well, arm. You know what I mean). The only times I didn't wear it was when I was in bed or when I'd been wearing it long enough that it started to chafe.

I also picked up some fish oil supplements and have been taking them 1-2 times per day, but that's more incidental--they're supposed to help with your joints and other things longer-term, and I'd been meaning to start on that for awhile, so it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

The esteemed and extremely spiffy Cap'n Lot also took me out in his backyard and schooled me... in how to hold my sword more effectively. He worked with me for about an hour? ish? on getting the sword better balanced in my hand, and maintaining a more correct grip and balance through the lunge, so I'm gripping it less tightly and letting the weight of the sword counterbalance properly in my hand. It's interesting to note that it was much easier to do a "proper" Italian lunge (first the arm, then the body, then the foot at the very end... when do you move your head, anyway? with the body?) with the "proper" grip on the sword, but other than noticing the improvement, I'm not really well-educated enough to observe much about that.

I was a little apprehensive about working with the arm when I planned on going to Altavia practice two days later (fencing two days in a row is what first made it start hurting), but when I was holding it right it didn't hurt at all. It actually relieved some of the pain in my arm by using different muscles, which forced the tight ones to relax so the others could contract. It was great.

Even better was the fact that it didn't hurt any worse at all the next day, and had even improved. I'd been noticing incremental improvements over the course of the week, usually first thing in the morning, with increasing soreness as I used the left arm during the day, so I expected to feel sore again on Sunday, or at least the same level of pain and weakness, but it had actually improved. It was very encouraging. I'll have to keep working on holding my sword the way he said to, because it was very comfortable, but very different from what I'm used to, and as I concentrated on lunging properly, I found myself sliding back into my old grip.

The trend continued at Lyondemere Anniversary last weekend, where by the end of the day my entire arm was exhausted, but the elbow wasn't making a peep. I pretty much danced and sang.

I woke up Sunday morning really sore, but in a bunch of new places and no old ones. My shoulder ached a little, my left lat was sore, and my bicep and tricep were both sore, but my elbow felt good. It ached a little bit, and felt warm like it had been working hard, but it didn't have that persistent, stinging throb that it's had in the last few weeks. It was really nice. It had felt good the week before, but the fact that I could go out and fence all day and have minimal side effects the next day was really reassuring.

I feel like I'm doing the right stuff to take care of it, and that's excellent news. Now the trick will be remembering to continue taking care of it as it keeps feeling better. I think I might keep wearing the brace at work, because typing really does isolate the poor bugger.

Fun at Lyondemere and New Drills

In other news, Lyondemere Anniversary was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with good folks (and adorable babies) and fence some new folks (and adorable babies) and generally have a lovely day (also, there were babies. They were pretty cute).

Laertes and I got to hang a bit, which was good. He gave me a new parry drill because I'm still having trouble synchronizing my right and left hands. I can parry fine with the sword or with the dagger, and I can attack fine with the sword, but I can hardly parry with the dagger and attack with the sword simultaneously. Well, correction--I can do it great when I think about it, but that kind of defeats the purpose. I need to get the counterattack into an instinctive, fluid motion, and specifically one This drill starts nice and slow, then gets progressively faster as it gets more comfortable. The drill is a shot to the hip, shortly followed by a low parry, then a shot to the shoulder and a high parry. The idea is that your opponent is doing the same thing in mirror, so when you attack them, they're parrying, and as they attack you parry.

I definitely need to concentrate on doing the first few rounds of this drill slowly, getting my parries locked without overcommitting them and really working on lunging with a good turn of the hip for distance, not snapping the arm out to full extension (that way lies tendon strain).

I'm having a different issue with the sword parry--I tend to take my point dramatically off-line while I'm parrying because I'm parrying with my whole arm, rather than just by adjusting the angle of my elbow and shoulder. Rather than lifting or dropping my hand, I swipe with the whole arm from one side to another, which is effective, but slow, and only works defensively. I can't counterattack effectively when my guard is off to the side, and if my opponent is fast enough to counter my parry, I'm pretty much hosed.

So in comes drill number two, some basic parries with my point resting lightly on something. I'm a little worried that I'll end up really resting the point on whatever it is (a tree, a wall, a kitten, whatever) and defeat the purpose of the drill, but I'll give it my best shot. I think if I do this one before my arm gets tired and with good concentration, I'll be okay.

Both of these drills are designed to be done with someone else, but I think I can do them at home. That inside wall of my patio is looking awfully inviting. Not to mention I have this boyfriend...

Fencer's Elbow

I've been having a touch of tennis elbow over the last couple weeks. Well, tennis or golfer's elbow, not sure--it's aggravated by lifting things and bending the elbow, which is a tennis elbow thing, but I also have some pain when I do finger-specific movements (typing, etc.), which is apparently more common in golfer's elbow... screw it, I have fencer's elbow. So say we all.

I first noticed it after an Altavia practice the day after a fairly vigorous Darach practice about a month ago, and it's sort of come and gone since then. It's gotten significantly worse in the last week, starting last weekend. I'm pretty sure I slept all of Saturday night with both arms fully extended and locked outside the covers, (odd, aren't I?) which probably aggravated it.

On Sunday I went out and bought a forearm strap on Don Eogan's recommendation. It was a little unnerving to put it on and feel an immediate relief from pain that I had previously been unaware of--I didn't realize it had hurt at all until it stopped hurting.

Fencing at Altavia on Monday with the strap on was awesome--I could feel weakness in the arm, but other than one over-extended lunge (that ended with my elbow getting clipped by the edge of my opponent's sword, arg!), I didn't feel any pain or discomfort at all. It wasn't sore at all the next morning, either (another standard symptom of tennis elbow is morning stiffness, which I haven't experienced at all yet). It got more sore as the day went on, and by Tuesday night it was pretty painful, but I went all day on Wednesday without the brace and it really didn't bother me until the end of the workday. Typing and fine finger movements (spinning the iPod wheel, for example) definitely bug me a bit, so I'm tying to avoid them... in my left hand, anyway.

At the moment, I've put myself on an ibuprofen regimen to decrease swelling, am wearing the brace almost all of my waking hours, and icing it in bed every night. I hope with a little rest and coddling it clears up by itself, because my range of motion and activity in my left arm has been badly impacted. Fortunately I'm not entirely left-hand dominant--after a couple of days I've successfully taught myself to eat with my right hand like I did when I was a kid, and as long as I keep the left elbow propped up I can type and things at work with no discomfort.

So, outlook? Well, I've had a lot of people tell me their tennis elbow stories, most of which end in "...and then I had to take two, four, six, fifteen months off! And have surgery! Which was really painful! And then my marriage ended! And my dog died! And I NEVAR FENCED AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN."

I will not be that person. I've decided. Kthxnook?thxbai.

Seriously. I'm just, just barely feeling like I'm starting to improve, damn it, and I'm not going to take some lame months off to lick my damn elbow tendon and feel sorry for myself (because, I assure you, I will feel sorry for myself, and it will be unbecoming). The very idea puts me in a cheerfully destructive frame of mind.

That being said, I'm not going to be a moron about it, either. I'll take my Advil and rest my arm and wear my brace and rest my arm and ice it every night and rest my arm and stop typing so much left-handed and rest my arm. I'll only fence once a week, I can do that. I'll stop using my left arm entirely six days and twenty-three hours a week, but I'm not going to give up my one hour of fencing unless I absolutely have to.

I may light that incense regardless.

Gyldenholt Anniversary, 2010

Fun fun fun at Gyldenholt!

This here's a big ol' post, so in the interest of easy reading, I've chunked it. It's a tech writer thing. Trust me, you'll like it.

Tourney Fights

My first tourney fight was with Don Lot. I have to confess to a moment of "Oh for God's sake" when that got called, because my two fights at Altavia Anny. were both against White Scarves, and we all know how that ended. :)

I actually thought my fight went pretty well up until the very end. I tried to put aside the knowledge that I wasn't going to be a challenging fight for him, and that by extension the whole fight was going to be an exercise in me trying new things and him letting me, which feels like an indulgence in a tourney setting, which, rather than encouraging, just defeats me in my head regardless of anyone else's intention or mindset. Oh, the headspace. Look at it go.

That reaction isn't about anyone else's demeanor or how I feel like I'm treated, on the field or off. It's all about me and my insecurities. I'm completely aware of this and, while it's a common reaction, I know it's a bad reaction, and no one is responsible for it but me. Just FYI. :)

I successfully put all that psychological crap aside for the first minute or two of the fight, while I was getting Lot's measure and gauging what it looked like he was going to do--it's hard to explain, but I can sort of tell what kind of fight my opponent is bringing in the first minute or so of a bout. It's not about guards or footwork or anything, it's about their speed, their aggression, probably a bunch of subconscious body language that I can read but not acknowledge consciously. Anyway, the first few passes and feints were spent gauging the fight a little bit.

I think my main problem was that the headspace started creeping up on me and I gave up too quickly. I threw a couple iffy shots and when they were parried, got in a bit too close and got killed. I didn't really believe in the final shot I threw which opened me up to get killed, and I came off the field disappointed that I hadn't tried harder. Shook it off, round two!

I won round two. It wasn't a pretty kill--I got a garbage shot in on the head that I barely felt as my opponent took my right leg. I did feel really good about my defense in the bout--I had a lot of nice sword parries and blocked a couple good two-hit combinations. I didn't love the killshot, but I felt really solid about my defense.

Round three took me out, and I know exactly why I died, so I was satisfied. I stepped out into the Angry Druids shot and forgot to use my offhand. I was ready to take the second step with my right foot, bringing my body off line and into the opponent's one-to-two o'clock space, and I could feel my right arm moving up to bring the dagger into place, but I got sniped in the throat before it could get there. If I had moved the dagger with the first step, I probably could have blocked it. Better luck next time.

Queen's Guard Challenges

Then we had the Queen's Guard challenges against the White Scarves and Gyldenholt Baronial Guard. They were a lot of fun, and I really felt like I fenced well.

The first fight was against the Baronial Guard, and it was great. I ended up being the last guard on the field and held off two Baronial guards, literally with my main hand behind my back. In part that last bit was because they were too polite to rush me two-on-one, but still, it looked impressive. :)

I was in the middle of the line at the beginning of that fight, which isn't great for me--I move around too much to fight productively in the middle of the line. When pinned in on both sides, I tend to go backwards, which is really bad when I'm fighting in a line! Fortunately, five Queen's Guards versus six Baronial Guards meant both lines fell apart fairly quickly and no one died because I took that step backwards. As our line dissolved and theirs pressed forward, I killed the person right in front of me, and then the person immediately to their left with a couple shots to the chest and collarbone. It was, in a word, awesome.

The two lines broke into one-on-one fights across the field, and as I was looking at a big tall guy thinking He could shoot my head right off my neck, Cecilia sniped my hand through my guard in a beautiful shot. I was shouting begrudging compliments at her as I switched hands and handed off my dagger, then booked it across the field to team up with Lorccan against Sigbjorn, Cecilia, and Yentz. Eventually it was me one handed me versus Yentz and Cecilia, which lead to my epic and heroic death, paeans to which will be sung through the annals of time by tender-footed virgins, glory glory, etc.

After that came the fight with the White Scarves. I died fast in that one, but I did get in a great shot that popped under a buckler and into a stomach. I even guarded my head properly with my dagger. Preen preen preen.

3DC 10th Anniversary Melees

I loved the melees. I thought they were original, had multiple possible roles for each fighter (killer, guard, pourer of whiskey, whatev) and the inclusion of props (like the table) made it unlikely that the scenarios would become boring line fights. There was little room in each scenario for twattery, given the expressed rules and objectives. Overall, a big win for Raz, who designed the scenarios. Good on ya, buddy!

My team was Don Colwyn and Avenel, who are both a lot of fun to fight with and against. We made finals, and got taken out by Roisin, Nathanial, and one other guy whose name I can't remember (Sorry, nameless dude!). Before that, I killed a couple people in the two-life res, and the first scenario. Fun fun fun.

Buckler Time with Avenel

After that, Avenel grabbed me and gave me some buckler schoolin'. I've felt like my buckler work hasn't been great in the last few months--I've been playing with dagger and baton so much, I tend to swat with anything you put in my right hand. When that thing's a 17" round wooden buckler, it's not effective. Either that, or I stick my hand straight out and just leave it there, not doing anything with it, and trust the surface area to protect me. BORING.

Avenel suggested I cross my right hand over my left and use the edge of the buckler to punch forward with every strike. I love this idea in principle, but certain aspects of female anatomy make getting as stark an angle as he does difficult for me. He literally sits his right hand over his left, the buckler angled over the hilt so the edge is almost parallel to the blade. I could manage the angle with his buckler (he has a dome in the middle of his and can close his hand all the way around the grip--my buckler is flat, so I can only get my fingers through the strap and flatten the buckler against the back of my hand, if necessary), but the hand and arm positioning was difficult given the placement of my guard. I could do the angle fine if my guard was about a foot higher, almost first and second. Not effective for general practice.

The idea of punching the edge of the buckler forward with the guard of my sword was really interesting. It ties in nicely with what Laertes' has been teaching me about using sword and offhand simultaneously in an attack. I could see the buckler-over-blade technique in particular working well in an Angry Druids scenario. Lots of valuable stuff to think about. I very much appreciated Avenel taking the time to walk me through the geometry and give me the suggestions--especially after he made the three-way finals in the tourney and probably had some other stuff to think about at the time. :)

Final Thoughts

Last week, I made it down to Altavia fighter practice. It was a lot of fun, and I think I'm going to try and go more regularly. The Isles practice has become really familiar for me, and I think I'd like to try fighting some new people. I also spend too much time hanging out there, and not enough fencing. In the interest of actually keeping my mind on the game, I think I'll be going to Altavia practice more and Isles practice less. It's a long drive, but it's feasible... we'll see what happens in the long run.

In other news, I'm starting to actually feel competitive. I was legitimately disappointed when my team didn't win the melees and wanted to fight in the tourney longer. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Will this help or harm my Zen? Only time will tell, I guess.